Mother's Day

Written for my Mom in 2005 and was first published in Sunday Punch, Mother's Day 2006.---- Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there. Ricky

Mother’s Day is very different from any other holiday, at least for me. It’s the day when my daughter and I have our brunch and reminisce for a couple of hours about things we “majorly messed up” on as a mother/daughter. The jovial nit picking of our roles is, to say the least, entertaining. Until my own mother makes it to the picture, then it becomes a somber realization, guilt trip, and pangs of nostalgia all over again.

In the Philippines, her skills were limited to being a housewife and a mother. It wasn’t an easy task. I have pictures in my head of her balancing batya on her head, walking along the river’s side until she spots that ideal location where she sits under the sun for the next hour or two doing laundry. She wanders the treacherous land of pugaro looking for dried sticks so she can cook the following week. The sight of her balancing bundles of this fuel on her head while maneuvering a teetering bamboo bridge sends up shivers. She’s famous around town for her bartering skills as well. For next to nothing she’s able to feed and clothe her family. The balancing acts she performed raising nine children, oftentimes on her own, are unfathomable.

When she immigrated to California in the mid seventies, life got a little easier. There’s a stove, a washing machine, and yes Dad was finally able drive her to the store. Bartering, however, was trickier, so she had to find a job to supplement Dad’s income. For the next fifteen years, she picked strawberries, worked at packing sheds, and collected aluminum cans. Life in the United States seemed over rated.

Pacing, as family and friends fondly call her, has won a few awards in the heart of those who know her. Her hands are forever marred by the hard work she’s endured, her face masks the pride and joy of watching her children graduate, marry, and bring home grandchildren, and her heart bares the scars of losing a child and a husband.

Her life, as she knows it now, is reduced to almost nothing. Her eyes are pools of uncertainties, her mind is a bank of memories she longs to remember, and her childlike ways slowly creep back to strip her of any dignity she has left. This disease that’s slowly eating away my mother is also wrecking havoc in my own world. Although guilt, anxiety, and anger, are suppressed in the back of my head, memories of her are part of my daily existence. Spunk, determination, and loving - traits I will always strive for from my mother, which I hopefully will leave behind for my own daughter to remember me by.

BIRHEN MILAGROSA NA MANAOAG

OS

Sakey ak ya madeboto ed Apo Baket na Manaoag tan agkoya nalingwanan so inpanpayawar nen Apo Baket ed siak .

December 19, 2004 - Akimisak ak tan amay kaanakan ko tan amay asawa to na alas onse yan asumpal na alas dose, kasumpal na misa inbakik imay asawa na kaanakan ko ya ipa-bless iramay sinaliw min kandila tan arom iran religious article diman ed gilig na kalsada- amay lugar ya pan-bless an daray luluganan.

Diad pan-alagar mi, inyorong min dua imay kaanakan ko diman ed lugar ya panseselselan na kandila ya aka-arap ak diman ed garden. Kabekta walay inmirong ya akolaw ya akapandong na amputi ya say kawes to et amputi tan walay awit ton karaanan ya basket. Say itsura mi ed irongan so nan-dikingan kami ed samay semento ya irongan, amay kaanakan ko et walad benegan min dua. Kairong to say kuanto ed siak “katon inmirong ak dia ed abay mo ta antak ya makatalos ka” kuanto. Kabekta in-kuanto ed siak “amayamay lay anak ko ya makakalingwan tan inmalis lara ed abong ko” balet wala met ira so pinmapawil la” inkuanto.

Siak balet say antak ayan akolaw et iistoryaen tod siak so anak to ed pamilya to. Kabekta say kuanto ed siak “ tulungan mo ak ya mandasal ed sarayan anak ko” Nen imbaga to lamet so “ARAYAN ANAK” ko et tinakiling ko so lupa to balet agko nanengneng ta amay pandong ton belo et akasakob ed lupa to, insan apansin ko ya kada onleksab imay belo to et itatagey ton tampol, insan say pankelawan ko ta asumpal lay misa tan wala met la ed paway AKIN ET AKA-BELO nin sinsya?

Nen ibabaga to imay kerew ton dasal et inkuanko ya “ON BAI ANGGANO AGKO KABAT ET IDADASAL KORAN AMIN LALO LA NA INTIRON MUNDO LALO LA ED ARAMAY MANGI-GIYERA. Kabekta nanbalikas lamet ya say kuanto “antam amayamay so onlesa ya saki-sakit” tan amayamay so ompatey gawa na “high blood pressure” tan sakit ed puso. Kasumpal to yan imbaga et angaot ak na 100 pesos ed bulsak tan inkuanko “ BAI PIALA YO YA SO 100 PESOS MAONG LABAT YA NAISALIW YO NA MERYENDA YO TANI PASADO ALAS DOSE LA ET SIGURO NARASAN KILA” Say kuanto “ ay Apo agak man-papayabol” balet inpilit ko, inala to tan inyan to ed samay kartamoneda to ya akakarga ed samay basket et diman ko anengneng ya say karga to et aramay karaanan ya libron dasalan (remember the old prayer books?) tan anggapoy karga ton kuwarta. Kabekta say kuanto “ anggapoy naiter kod sika no agsayay “holy water” ya akakarga ed absolute ya botelya, inkuanto ya no gabay mo yan danum so laka labat ED DIMAN ED RECTORY-k ya opisina ta wadman iray papari ya mangiter ed sika.

Anggad natan ayan absolute ya botelya et awit-awit ko diya ed kolaan ko. Kasumpal to ya inter imay holy water et intagey toy lima ton kawanan et dia lanti ya antak ya akolaw lara, say antak et nakaokolan da na tolong ya onalagey katon inkuanko ed samay kaanakan ko ya tolongan toy Bai ya onalagey, ‘ANDI APO inkuanto SARAG koni onalagey” nen akaalagey la , inyawat toy lima to ed siak tan samay kaanakan ko BALET SAY PANKELAWAN KO AKIN TA AKOLAW YA METMELANTING ET SAY DAKLAP NA LIMA TO ET SINGA DAKLAP NA BALEG YA LAKI. Anggano abenbenan ko so lima nen Bai et sinsya ya agko atakiling so lupa to ta asakuban na amay amputi ya belo. Kasumpal ton inderew so lima to et inkuanto ed siak GALA TA ONLA TA DIMAN ED ARAP NA ACACIA YA KAABAY TO IMAY SILEWAN NA KANDILA TA ABAYAG TO KALAN AALAGAREN, ayan bekta nen linma kami nen Bai diman ( FOR SO LONG THAT I’VE BEEN GOING TO MANAOAG SHRINE, I DIDN’T NOTICED THAT ON TOP OF THE ACACIA TREE, THERE’S A SCULPTURED IMAGE OF OUR LADY OF MANAOAG) insan nanbalikas ed siak ya inkuanto “ sarag mon mangala na arayay kandila ya napepelag dia insan sarag mon osaren no walay mankaokolay dasal na aray walay sakit balet ipatanir tan ikerew mo ed si Apo Baket ya natambal ira.

Ayan bekta et tinmangay ak tan nandasalak ed samay sculptured ya imahem nen Apo Baket et nen kaosdong ko ANGGAPO MET LA SI BAI, lapod pasado alas dose la katon daiset la so totoo ta asompal lay misa KATON NABANTAG MO ANGGAD GATE NO MANAAKAR NI
BAI, NAANDIPAT YA TAMPOL. Kabekta sinmabi imay asawa to imay kaanakan ko et tinepet ko no walay anenengneng ton akolaw ya akapandong na amputi ya pinmaway ANGGAPO AUNTIE kuanto.

Ayan manifestation ya na-encounter ko et inkunok ed samay classmate ko ya pari et inkuanto “ I believe that you just encountered one of APO BAKET’s many miracles in disguise of the old lady dressed in white”.

My encounter with APO BAKET happened on the 19th of December 2004, a week later TSUNAMI HAD STRUCK SEVERAL NATIONS THAT INCLUDEED THAILAND claiming million of lives. Natan ko amotektek imay kerew nen Bai ya tolongan kon mandasal para ed saray ANAK TO ya inaatey ed sayan TSUNAMI.

SO we or each and everyone of us ya madeboto ed si APO BAKET so idasal tayon lanang irayan inaatey nen TSUNAMI.

MANSIRUNGET

Kankanti

Kasabi-sabik nin tuloy ed Med-Surg Ward; nan ring so telepono ta walay onsabi kono ya pasyente yan manlapo ed Recovery Room. Sakey ya 95 anyos ya masiken, amputi, balon opera ed pukel na tapi ta aputer kono nen atumba ed abay na katre to. Dakel so report to imay Filipino nurse ed Recovery Room - agko la nanonotan ya amin. Balet say atandaan kon imbaga to, samay pasyente ngalngali nin agto nilimatay mata to tan singa makakaugip nin lanang ya maong. Say vital signs to stable met la, tan take note, kuan to --- balon kasal. Akaimis ak ta 95 anyos ton may pasyente. Honeymoon time ni sirin, kuan ko.

Sinmabi so pasyente ya akarukol ed hospital bed; singa Christmas tree ta dakel so akasabit-sabit ya tubo. Manontumbok so sakey ya akulaw ya agmet la miarawian so edad to ed samay pasyente. "Aha, aya manaya so balon kasal," kuan kod isip ko (tsismosa, anto?)

Akikabat ak ed samay pasyente tan imbagak ya siak so nurse to ed saman ya labi. Linmimatay daiset tan tinmanger, insan linmitdem la lamet. Kabebekta, mansanggook la. Inalak so vital signs to kada 30 minutos ya amipat. Nantongtong kamin dua imay akulaw ya asawa to.

"Atumba nen kabuasan ed abay na katre et ag met la makabangon." A fracture manaya so hip bone to kanyan inoperaan nen Dr. Alvarez. Balo kamin kasal.

"Honeymoon mi ni," kuan to. "Antoy gagawaen tod gilig na katre et atumba sirin ah," kuan ko lawari, balet agko pa la intuloy. Honeymoon kuan mo pa......

"Iner so akalmoan yo ed sikato ey?" tepet ko; inggawak so inkatsismosak.

"Kaiba mi ed simbaan et akapangustoan kamin dua, diad tulong met la na saray kakaiba mi ed simbaan," kuanton makakaimis. "95 to la, siak balet 88 anyos ko."

"Agyo nengneng so 88 anyos," kuan ko, ta sikatoy tua met.

Dakel so estorya to imay akulaw. Insan la nanpatanir ya onsempet ni kono ta sanagew to lad ospital et naksawan met la. Labay toy manames tan manpainawa. Intilak tod siak so numeroy telepono to ta tawagan ko kono no kaukulan ya tawagen. Nanpatanir ed samay masiken. Inmulagat toy mata toy daiset; inmangob imay akulaw ed bibil to may masiken, insan la inmalis.

Duay oras so apalabas, say blood pressure ton may masiken so manabeba. Tinawagan koy doctor tan nan order na IV bolus. Amiduak lan angiter na IV bolus, siyempre nin onleleksab so blood pressure to pati level of consciousness to. Aburido ak ta agko labay ya man code blue imay pasyente. DNR (do not resuscitate) imay pasyente balet intonda ni na doctor makasengeg ed operasiyon. Kanyan no na code blue imay pasyente, nepeg ya gawaen so CPR. Tinawagan ko imay akulaw ya asaway pasyente ta kaukulan ya itransfer imay masiken ed ICU. Sinmabin tampol kalamor, mangiwgiw ed takot tan betel. Imbagak ed sikato so sitwasiyon tan imbagak ya DNR imay masiken pero intonda nen doctor ni lapu ed operasiyon.

"Aliwan DNR itay asawak. No DNR nen saman antes kamin nankasal, natan siak so POA to" (power of attorney). "Full code itay asawak natan. Gawa yon amin so nayarian yo pian nabilay," kuan to.

Inmasingger imay akulaw ed asawa to, inegnaan tod duaran lima, inanguban to, insan to inyesaes ed layag to, "Inar-aro takan maong, agmo ak tataynanan. Kaukulan takad bilay ko."

Aga inmalis may akulaw ed abay na pasyente, sangkaegna tod lima tan babagaan toy panangaro to; tan komon ta pakasilen toy linawa to pian nalampasan to imay critical ya oras. Insan to kinansiyonan.

Makapatenyeg na puso so naimatonan ko. Singa ak ingen makakaibeg. Linmad nonot ko, "gawaen kasi na asawak itan ed siak no siak so ngalngalin ompatey?" Diad pegley na critical ya oras ya nepeg ak ya aburido ed sitwasiyon, say linmad nonot ko say kasil tan matua na aroan dan dua; diad edad dan 95 tan 88. Wala ni kasi makatalo ed satan?

Inter koy report ko ed ICU nurse, insan ko intransfer imay pasyente. Ag balot inmalis imay akulaw ed abay to. Ibabaga ton lanang so panangaro to tan pankaukulan to ed samay masiken.

Diad tinmombok ya labi, tinmawag ak ed ICU tan kinumustak imay pasyente.

Malikeliket imay nurse ya kuan to, "Nengneng mo no antoy nagawaan na panangaro. Wadya imay akulaw. No wacky-wacky so vital signs to imay masiken et kansiyonan ton may akulaw, nagiging stable. Kanyan papauliyanan kon mankansiyon imay akulaw anggano ansakit la ed layag. Say padisir ko, nabuwas nayari lan itransfer iyay pasyente ed Med-Surg floor."

Akaingas ak na malukak. Maong labat ta anggapoy mauges ya asagmakan to imay pasyente tan agla manbayag nayarian to lan ituloy so gagawaen to sakbay ya atumba! Tan natuloy lay honeymoon dan sanasawa.

Diad naimatonan kod saman ya pasyente tan samay akulaw ya asawa to so akapangiter na sakey ya aral. Diad pegley na nagagawan kolkolan tan diborsyo ya naiimatonan tayo ed kaliber-liber ed sarayan panaon; panaon na agay lay lupok na relasyon lalo la ed pamilya; makapangiter na liket tan uliran iman ya sanasawa ya anggaman ontan ya wala larad oras na mansirunget ed bilay da, agay lay elet nin siyansiya na aroan dan dua. Komon ta ag itayo mila ed agos na maples ya pansasalat tan anggapoy ka-pirmi-an.

.....Kumusta kilan amin, kakaaro tan kabaleyan...