Manaoag Portal

amina tagleey

2011-02-17T02:27:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

aliling moy tubon ngalog
ed mataban dalin
mankurkurung anggad
nasapyot na palin
agnasayang ilaok kad inigar
ya ungel na seba,
babang tan asin; panpiestaay
baboy ya mataba
no sikay nabini unsalumpapak
kan mandosas
dagupen kay pukyutan,
ampingilan, kumpapey,
gilata tan arun niran bigis
manpirawat ed linggas
anggapoy biskeg mon mangipulisay
o mangiyawey
sikay malenleneg ya
mangaksobi ed amina tag-leey

A Prayer to St. Jude

2011-02-16T18:02:00.000-08:00

AG

Like the moon in the sky that comes and goes,
Life is on a schedule, much like a city bus,
Experiences and lessons that hitch the ride,
Become the best teachers always by our side!

My story took place during my college days, when a lot of things were happening in my life. That October day, on my way back to Manila from my hometown after a school break, I happened to meet a girl who was a student at the Philippine Women’s University. The train ride then took about four hours, long enough for people to meet and forge friendships. She was seated on the couch across from me, intently reading the book Noli Me Tangere by Jose Rizal. After a while, she stopped reading and dropped the book by her side. Our eyes met and she gave me a faint smile. It was the right opening that I was waiting for, so I asked her, “Do you know that Leonor Rivera lived in Dagupan for a while and that she also had relatives in Lingayen?” I must have aroused her interest because as it turned out, she was from Dagupan City herself. She introduced herself as Julie. She was reserved and pretty with a little slant in her eyes; when she smiled, her face radiated the morning sunrise.

The previous semester, I had just finished the course on the life and times of Jose Rizal, so my knowledge about his life was still very fresh in my mind. To impress her, which is one way boys try to attract girls, I talked in detail about Rizal. I made it appear that I was a well-informed and a well-read person, but I really wasn’t because the only books I would read at the time were my textbooks. Anyway, our conversation got more animated when we discussed in depth Rizal’s love for Leonor Rivera, who was to become the Maria Clara character in Noli Me Tangere. “Leonor eventually married an Englishman,” I said, “because her mother harbored a deep distrust of Rizal.” I enjoyed the girl’s company so much that at the end of the trip, I suggested that we should see each other again. She agreed to meet me in front of the St. Jude Church the following Thursday, which was novena day in honor of the saint. That, I thought, was good timing for both of us because it was college enrollment week and classes would not start until the Monday of the following week.

I looked forward very keenly to that Thursday. So, after putting on my best, I left home early and made it to the church a full thirty minutes before the agreed-upon time for our date. I went inside the church to say a prayer of thanks for my good luck in having met that girl. At ten minutes before 5:00 P.M., I positioned myself inconspicuously in front of the church; all that time my thoughts were racing, figuring out where he two of us would go after the church novena. I was so excited and nervous as I screened every face that came my way. But fifteen minutes passed and my date was still nowhere around. I thought that maybe she was held up by heavy traffic. I waited for another hour to give her a chance to beat the traffic, but still she was a no-show. I ended up alone in front of the church, standing in a corner like a statue.

I was so disappointed when I realized that I had been stood up. Feeling like a fool, I decided to go home with my wounded pride. The irony in my situation was that I waited in vain in a church named after St. Jude, the patron saint of the hopeless. On board the bus that I took going home, I thought deeply about my misfortune and it brought to mind the movie An Affair to Remember, which I had seen sometime back. I began to imagine myself as the character played by the actor Cary Grant, stood up by his date at the very top of the Empire State Building. I recalled that the two lovers had promised that if one of them could not make it to the date, it would be for a very good reason. I wondered then if my date had such a good reason, perhaps an afterthought that it was not proper to have a date with a new-found friend who is still very much a stranger. But I decided that she was not worth any further thought and crossed out her name forever from my life. Still, I went home so dejected, never even mentioning to my brother what happened to avoid being teased as the forsaken dashing Romeo.

When the second semester started, I fell back to my study routine. Like many of the students in my school, studying was my total preoccupation during the weekdays, keeping only Saturdays free for unwinding myself and seeking relief from the pressure of my studies. During that time, the Women’s Club of our school was sponsoring once-a-month Saturday dances to create a conducive atmosphere for girls to meet boys. For freshman and sophomore girls enrolled in the Euthenics class, one of the requirements was to attend those monthly socials so they could practice the social graces that they were learning from the class.

I distinctly remember that particular Saturday night in December when I attended the last monthly socials before the school’s Christmas break. On one side of the dance hall were girls lined up like wallflowers, waiting to be invited to dance by the boys. My roving eyes were captivated by one of them—a girl with hair in ponytail and wearing a red-and-white dress. It took me a while to summon enough courage to approach her, but I finally managed to do so and introduced myself. I think meeting her that night was providential, for I soon found out that she spoke the same dialect as mine and came from the same province as mine. In any case, before the socials that night ended, I asked her if it would be all right for me to visit her during the Christmas break and meet her family. She didn’t respond, probably thinking that I was just one of those many crazy young men who would swear by the moon.

I went back to my hometown during the Christmas break, and the day after Christmas, I set out to visit the girl in her own hometown. The trip took about an hour along bumpy and dusty roads. I did not know where she lived so when I reached the town, I asked around. Thankfully, the town barber knew everybody and he directed me to the shortest route to her house. I showed up in the girl’s house in no time at all, surprising her and her family with my determination and with my resourcefulness to come and see her. After that first visit, it dawned in me that she was the girl that I would like to marry someday. Many years still had to pass, though, before both of us were convinced that we were really meant for each other. We eventually decided to get married after getting to know each other much better. I found my soul mate in her and she found her first and only love in me.

Three decades later, my wife and I attended her high school reunion in Chicago. There, we met the barber who had given me the directions to her house in her hometown. And as a fond reminder that he was once a tiny but crucial bridge in our love story, my wife and I had photos taken with him in between the two of us.

Not Only in My Dream!

2011-02-14T19:17:00.001-08:00

AG

As I threw myself into the thick of the night
To fathom its dark recesses with just a beam of light,
It was fortunate that there was a little twinkling star
Whose rays gave light to the byways to where you are.

Because in my mind I knew from the very start
That your silhouette fit the contours of my heart.
So when l gazed upon your beautiful and gentle face,
I knew then that I found in you my long, lost wish.

It started when I first saw you in that crowded hall
Where your loveliness bounced against the mirrored walls,
And when the radiance of your eyes penetrated my soul,
It melted my yesterdays’ pasts, leaving me with nothing at all.

So happily as I was holding you in a tight embrace,
Beams of bright light showered my happy, smiling face.
But as I held you tight and tighter while I kept on dreaming,
I was overjoyed to wake up and find you beside me this morning.

***

Afterthoughts
I have been thinking why women enjoy poetry more than men enjoy it. I know that when I write poetry, my feelings are more intense than when I write prose. Does it mean then that women are more intense in matters of love?

What is romantic love? Science could not explain it but people know when they are in love. Sometimes, it is just the smile or the eyes that would trigger the feelings of being in love. It is indeed a mystery in life and I think it’s best to leave it that way.

A lot of times, love could easily start with a smile, then could grow with a kiss but could end up with laughter or with tears.

maligan agew na puso bilay ko

2011-02-13T13:40:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

walay malugon pokal ed pagew
ililiing toy iliw nen tiyagew
nen saray dosas et mabusbuskag
ya mansiyayap iray bangbangkag
anengneng takan amamayoy liket
imis moray alay samit manmegket

akilasonak met lad bektan gayaga
sanagew kaulop takan manteyengteyeng
ed pegley na mabalingit ya kadosasan
angetelak na sakeya alay santing
bagbagay ed imis mo tan kuliriritim
agko apukpukan so angub kon mapilit
kinarot moak na magingintil ya ansakit
balet intepel ko ta nain-inut ya naaknit

mapekepeket ka lapud saman agko lingwan
agni akabutay agew wadtan kan manalagar
anggapoy saew sikatan duwa so mana-akar
on; anggad asabin limmakad biyek na taew
maruksa ka say pusok so nilam ya tinakew
pasalamatak ta agmoak met inkaindan lawas
anggan mabayag so panalagar kon unluwas
talagan tumbuken takad tan ya andi oras

natan pinabli agew lamet na maaron puso
naawat ko lara may pawit mo katekep aro
agko naim-imanon kaplasen koy bibil ko
ya inonot kod sika nen wadyakan katupag
antoy nagawak mananosak ta sikay pilalek
tan sasambaen toyan pusok ya malenleneg

***
magayagan agew na puso ed sikayon amin.
say arok ed para sikayon amin.md

bangon kila

2011-02-13T09:05:00.001-08:00

manonton dalan

nengneng yo pay kaliberliber yo
nasinag yo pa ni liwaway kabuasan
ap-aplusen toy toktok na kawayanan
talostalos toy aping yon akadanganan
bangon kila agi, aalagaren kayo
na inawa'y abangunan, manalisto

agyo la aalagarey pawit ed biyek taew
alingwanan yola kari irap dan sanagew
mipupuligesgesan ed uran tan tiagew
makalmo labat na malaem ya sentimos
no arom kulang ya kulang ya pangastos

bangon kila agi ta masiblet lay subol
pati say sintimos agto tanton matanol
duga latay anak dakedakel tilan maong
duga latay pasikatan, duga lay kalitong
iba-iba tayon italikarkar iyan imanes
piyan amin tayo et walay maluyon anges

inaro, kawalan mo

2011-02-13T09:04:00.001-08:00

manonton dalan

simmelkag so eleng ko
insungap koy araldalem
inut kon insibok ed bilunget
anggapon balot so akaimano
aterak so akis kod pagew
singa say ulok et nakewkew

apilat so kareenan ed talba
sibsibek tutumbukey luluwa
naaros so limak ed lusek
akalispakak eges koy manawet
itawag komo'y ngaran mo balet
abayag kad lingwan naikutep

bektan maruksa inaro kawalan mo
natan nakaukulan takad sibay ko
aburay tepel tan kasil na liknak
aliling ko'y timel ya melmelag
inkainday kapalaran nen naplag
diyad dabukak ya mankulipagpag

...walay abantayan kon video
amay bii agaylay ugaog ton mandadapoypoy
ed dabuk aanapen to may singsing tod bilunget
kanyan inkurit koy limmesa ed nonot ko.

aliling moy kumpapey

2011-02-13T09:03:00.000-08:00

manonton dalan

aliingan ko'y kugip
napnua'y aro, alay samit
wala ni parparuk na pusok
tan sibsibek ya troktarok
inilaluwan kon walad lingwan
iray ula-ulan atubeg lay uran
naiyagos na erme'y kapalaran

alingo-ak inaro wadya kani
amamayum iray malinak ya labi
singak narerengel iray esaes mo
ya singa ililiing turay karinyo
aliling na kupapey mananap na dilo
anggano mailet et bukitkiten to

karuman labat, agi

2011-02-13T09:01:00.001-08:00

manonton dalan

kabuasan, matarareter so uran ed atep
wadya kamin narasan akatalikepkep
nababantag mi pontin mapasirayew
idadasal min untakken ya agnatakew
angub na insanglil ya belas, kapi
guguyuren toy anges paunnad kaabay mi

wala met may potpot ya managlakoy pandesal
agkamila makabali ta anggapoy panbayar
kanyan alagaren mi ugto umpano makapangan
no walay malaem ya tubod pinanlakuan
aay! mairap ya nonoten so salsalid bilay
singa unterter niray luak ya man-ay-ay

natan warriyak nin aka-ampatot, mabeleng
sobra so betel, mankegkeg, katekep toy dagem
ipapanaanik so panangan ta mataba lay puson
agko la labay so manaliw na balon karson
sakey ni manateet lay datal no unakarak
masyadoak lan ambelat, sakey ni nababainganak

*** insulat ko ya kasumpalan kon nanlapo ed
manaoag messageboard ya akibasa ed saray ula-ula
ray pinabpablin basakay-jets, queen, mccoy,atsi paz,
sunshine, roz, libsky, jj tan arum nira...salamat
ed sikayo agagi ta maliga
kinin mi-ooktapan ed salitan pangasinan.sigi inum
yo latay kapi piyan agnabaaw.
hmmmm ... manaruan kayo, say diyos manuna lawas.md

wadyaak nin mangaaro

2011-02-13T08:59:00.001-08:00

manonton dalan

nantultuloy so liket ko inaro
egnak anlemlemek ya taklay mo
manpukpukal so pusok anap toka
labay toy miamaamayo ed letakan
ya sika'y katupag ya ang-anguban
agmo komon isiblet irayan bekta
ta say matuwan anap ko et sika

gala inaro unla tad tambib na angalakan
ta diman iliing koray agagew ya tinaynan
amay samit daray apalabas, agko lingwan
nen anggapo kadiya sinulsulok yan ayuyang
agko nabilang iray sibek tan luwan apaktak
wadiyaak nin mangaaro tan malikeliketak

no bilang ta walaanak niray kakulangan
pasensiya kala, sikan sikani amaspasiyaan
ya inkurong kon inbaliw ed agos na kairapan
natan wala lay imis kon mapasirayew inaro
lapur wadya kad abay ko; tambal kay ermen
untan pa komon manando; saksi tay tawen

say petang mo so alikna

2011-01-10T15:32:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

nakatan lay angalakan
alay awang na patalan
masisileng iray bato
untan met so amagan tawen
pati sinag agew mansasnit
managos linget kon maangsit

inapurak so nananap na sirum
diyad silong na taytay mareen
wadman kan manpepesak na kawes
apaer so kesaw ko tan linget
amurburak na bulong na bayawas
kinames ko inaplos koy kilikilik

naimano moak agaylay elek mo
inkuan mon singaak "tinula"
"andi; nababainganak ed sika"
tinupak moak na sabona perla
naknam so ulok; tinekmelan taka
indeen mo; nankasakey so lingeta

diyad sanib na bilunget

2010-12-20T18:23:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

makureprep iray silew
ya babalkesan toy uma
marakel niray pagey
ya agni naanin natatakew
na otot tan saray gilata

naa-angub koy samit na luto
itataruk na siplog na dagem
untan met ed saray balikas
amamayuey kaugaway bilunget
isasanib toray limer iran aruan

puson napnoy aro

2010-06-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

mapekepeket so imanok ed saray matam
liknak so sika labat so walad arapan
mesmesan taka komon ya tarok toy geget
balet pinaer ko, wala ray matay asipet
sibersiber ya mananap na itukyap lawas
pusok balet nalelener labay toy unimwas

no nayari labat ya erepen koy agew natan
ta labay kon napunas iray matan balang
tan bukbukuran kon amamayuey kalinggasan
balet masarag lay dengdengelen koy ulaulam
ya milmilay matak ed masimpit mo ran galaw
ya manpapapeles na pukal na puson miaaruan

sakeya bektan abekad lingwan

2010-06-03T14:25:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

ayesyes lay katengeran dan manalagar
ed lulutuen nen nanay ya pigarpigar
nakgaay teek dan manak-akmon-akmon
ginawa da lay plato ya batingting
matalakatak, agmo narengel so esaes
anggan susuyuren lay layag moy anges

inapag lay niluto, sinukat na yaong
anggapoy saulan ta aliwa kunon maong
piritpiriten dalan in-inut lapud eras
ipapangan dala ray angub na asewek
pati siguroy kaabay akinabang ed satan
anggan ilol labat nayari met lan ipangan

atektek so baog, marungis ka no kanen mo
andi bali basta wala ni taway nayari ni
anggan sabit, ngatingaten mon maal-alwar
insan ka unkamot na malaem ya itamukal
amay liknan walay unkarunyas ed kulokulong
pisalsalamatan lay eges, nayari lay unurong

***
pasenya kilan kabaleyan ko asalkotak na
pilalek ya salien koy mansulat na libon
anlong ed salitan sakson... kanyan abayagak
ya ag angikurit ed salita tayon pangasinan.
no labay yon tandagan so sinulat ko
http://www.poemhunter.com/manonton-dalan/poems
walay masulok ya sanlibo diman ya manalagar ed sikayo.
say Diyos manuna lawas, manaruan kayo. md
*** queen natn ko labat apakisyapan may kerew mo
aging.md

032110 unuran komon

2010-03-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

mandapoypoy so dagem ed uma
abayag lan ag aterteran ira
leletak nayarin akmunen toka
alaylay lay tanaman ya palya
aya'y tokotok so iilaluwan
ya isabi na uran ya malaem

say angalakan et naekatan la
anggapo lamay languyay baka
pati kangkong agaylay kuririt
gegetelen da met amo pati simit
natan iner lay amesan, pesakan
amay imbeneg danum agnasabsabaan

nakaukulan amoy dasal ya malet
isayandet iratay salin mararakep
kapara daray totoon daan, wala ni
kansiyonan piyan umterter so uran
manpaga ni ran kalaktip toy parasal
anggano puto, pansit tan pandesal

***
wadyaak lamet ya mangibaba ed sikayon
kabaleyan ko ra ta piyan nalikna yo met
so siplog na dagem.mabungabunga siguroy
sirguelas ed sapang natan.manaruan kayo,
say Diyos manuna lawas.md

031610 kuya, alagar kayo pa

2010-03-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

apakisyapan koy mauyamon lupam
inpakaliknak na sibeg tan pukal
pinawilan kon inaplos na nengneng
asalkot so pusok liknay maimeng
diyad mikatlon pawil asabat taka
imis moy manmegket siyak akalinawa
nipasak so ugaw-ugaw ko manimis ka

naemel so mundok kimmawetwet ed sika
agak akasel, nauyusanak na puwersa
kinindatan moak pagew koy atukyap
mananap na malet tan maandon lakap
immasinggerak ta labay koy mi-uktap
benben mon liray inopresiyan moak
lukban kolor derosa, manlikliketak

masimpit mon bibil sisipeten toy liray
simmugat so pilalek, liknak benbey gabay
nen timmerter agi say anges koy ag-unsablay
singa ginuyor so limak inderew koy panyok
adapigas ko labat iray gamet mo, aay! pusok
akaluksod kapot, agak akapokpok inguyor taka
naggel koy balikas mo " kuya,alagar kayo pa"

...kumusta kilan kabaleyan ko. manandoy anos
kon itatagleey so salita tayon pangasinan. abalitaan
kon ibangat da lamet so salitan pangasinan ed
elementarya. siyopa kasi mansulat na libro da.
anto kasin balikas "c" o "k", "oa" o "wa".
manaruan kayo, say diyos manuna lawas.md

030710 sasalkuten moak na panangaro

2010-03-07T03:32:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

agko nitepel ya say petang na pagew mo
et unkepan sisiplugey dagem labat
labay kon unkutep ed pusok ya itawag
toy manandon iliw lalo lad isisipot
na liwawad sagur ya kulapulay ermen

natan lilinggisen ko'y uyamo'y lupam
ya mipupuligesgesan ed maruyon kugip
wala niray ungol mon agko naulit
pati ules indepak mo ya angiparungtal
na iimunan daray kalangweran. labay kon
miapag ed samit daray bektan manpainat-inat
tan singa unyesyes so amina laman mo.

inanguban takad tenger, singaak aguyor
na alimbusabos agak makaanges singa
baton balani agak balot makalukpos.
kamamanta wala kalad tapew ya singa genggeng
ya sasalkuten moak na abigobigota aro.
agko anta no abangon kala o wala ka nid
pegley na kugip o wala kalan bilay.

nen biglan asaspak so lupak insan nagngel
takan nguronguro,"kulas antoy ibabagam,
antoy ngaran ko ha! buwisit, manluto kay
pangalmusalan mo" binigsot mo ni ules
aka-eyag-eyagak ni ta intarok toy
magter kon iknol.

...hehehehe gungunam

021410 magayagan agew na puso

2010-02-12T17:14:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

mapasirayew iran dosas ed kabuasan
kato'y pilalek na maaron matam
samyo ton makaliing liknay sibeg
pabiskegen toy bikking anggad pueg
walay getmak ya getelen para ed sika
balkoten koy pako, sibukan koy liga

natan benben koy pungoy rosas
walay tsokolate tan mansanas
andi lay balon piyan agka-untangay
ta agko labay so tenger mon nalemay
duga la tay imis mon walay mesmes
amay malmalet ya agak makaanges

balet nen say pagew moy akadapigas
agtaka palukpusen ta walay bimmekas
eyesaes ko komon balet sika'y akalikas
kinarot moak na melmelanting, mansasnit
inanguban taka'y alay samit,ilalok ya naaknit
iray kukum ya unkukutep ed baog kon manmegket

...uhmmm ... MAGAYAGAN AGEW NA PUSO INARO
lalo la ed saray pinabpabalin basakays tan
inararok ya kabaleyan ed manaoag.manaruan kayo,
say Diyos manuna lawas.md

A Secret Love

2010-02-12T09:02:00.000-08:00

AG

It was the first day of school and I was new in the college. I was leaning on the wall of a corridor when a girl in blue was coming towards my direction. I noticed that she was shy, without even lifting her eyes to give me a glance but as she passed through, the smell of her perfume was like the song of Lorelei of the river Rhine, so I followed her to the library. She positioned herself at the end of the room and I sat a distance away so I would not be conspicuous. I studied the contour of her face which I wrote in my journal as page boy hair, round eyes, thin lips, looks like Natalie Wood.

We had few classes together and so we became friendly but her shyness made her reclusive, she did not hang out with her classmates. In a class following summer, I managed to be her laboratory partner, which I did through a little manipulation. I was an easy going student, and my ambition was just to make a passing grade, no more no less but this time, I put an extra effort to make an impression that I was not dumb. I was ready with all the assignments, which was not normal to me, she had indeed straightened my bad habit.

As the days went by, I was slowly falling for her, I knew it because she preoccupied my idle time. One evening as I was studying while my radio was on, the song “Imagination” by Frank Sinatra was on the air and as I listened to the song. Its melancholic tune and lyrics seemed to be describing me and my feelings. I soon realized that I was in love with her, because when I think about her, my hands would sweat, a little stress cause by adrenaline flow. I love to go to school, to be prompt at the laboratory room so I could see her, the longing is like the dewdrops on the flowers on early morning. After school, we would hang out in groups to eat out and it was wonderful feeling to be with her, to catch a glimpse of her is a nourishment of an aching heart. I did very well in the class and I enjoyed my professor, I attributed it partly to my desire to impress her.

One Sunday afternoon, against the advise of the gods, I visited her and to my surprise, she came out and greeted me. I was tongue tied, wow, but I was uneasy in the receiving room so we walked to the Café to eat a pie, a buko pie which was her favorite. We sat at a corner table, my eyes always stealing glances of her pretty sight, her shyness made her elusive to my admiring eyes. We talked for sometime, talking about our class and the characters we know, then walked her back and said bye and went on my way home. In my mind I asked myself “if she likes me, if she knows that I am falling for her, questions that I answered myself that maybe she likes me too because I was cute and maybe smart, that‘s why she came out to see me”. Back at home, I wrote in my journal “first base”, thinking that I got into the first base of the game called love.

Monday came and I never mentioned to my buddy that I visited her, I was bashful to be exposed as having a secret love. We came to class and she did not act differently so I thought she must have liked me too. She was friendly as usual so I thought that she will someday be my bride when I can show that I have talents too. I knew that I had a lot of talents, the only question was I had no chance to show off my talents. I had photographic mind and could imagine things below the surface and out in the space, which were not helpful in my current studies.

But anyway, I was having fun in the class, just to be near her as my partner was good enough to satisfy my craving. Life was wonderful to me that time that my grade was a lot better than my normal passing grade. What a wonderful summer I had, my dream girl was my partner and I did not have difficulty in the class. At night, sometimes my dreams would be peppered by her sight which I loved because I’d see her without any effort. The song “imagination” became my inspirational song, a song that tells my story for the whole summer.

The following school year, we were classmates again and my secret love was burning into high flame. I invited her to come to a class party with me and to my surprise she did. Maybe she really likes me, I said to myself but I was not too sure about it, maybe she considers me as a brother which would be the end of the world for me. How could I ever profess my love to her? I was intrinsically shy and I don’t enjoy being rejected so I was just contented to keep my love as secret as possible. I thought there was nothing in my image that really would attract girls, I was just an ordinary student, with a normal GPA which was not outstanding as the measure of success in school. If she only knew that I had a lot of hidden talents, maybe she would like me but to my disappointment , my talents were useless at that time, it did not bring outstanding grades because I could not use it for the exams and these talents belong outside the classrooms.

One weekend, she was waiting for her ride home and I asked her if I could go with her, but she politely said that I could not because….It dawned on me that maybe I was just a good friend to her, no more no less. I went home and I played the song “Imagination” and as I listened to the lyrics, the song became apparent that it is the story of my secret love, a love that began as a secret and remained a secret. As the song melody and lyrics lingered in the air, I wondered if I would ever find one like her again. ”Imagination is silly, You go around willy nilly, For example I go around wanting you, And yet I can’t imagine that you want me too.” I just wondered if she ever knew how deep my love was for her. … In my journal, I wrote as a closure of my secret love.. ”I love her the day I met her, That was when it first began, I never thought that I could love her more, But I found out that I can, Everyday she grew more wonderful, And she always will I know, I’ll keep on loving her more and more, Through the years that come and go” I wonder if she could have loved me if I professed my love after graduation, when it became apparent that I was smarter than before. I did not see her after graduation until 20 years later when I met her family and she met mine. I already found my soul mate in my wife and my secret love became my best friend ever, my best friend forever.

021010 no sika'y naandid mundo

2010-02-10T17:13:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

panon la so bilay ko
no anggapo ka la
mansakit so pagew ko
nonot ko’y magulo
luwa’y amamayo
nakumpil ni bibil ko

naantaan ko ni kasi unibeg
wala ni kasi’y atilaka biskeg
kasumpal na labin napnoy sibek
wala kasi’y malaem ya panaon
ta inoput ko lan amin ed arom
ta sika labat so antak ya maong

atiklop so duan dakulap ko
eleng ko’y akatapew ed tamuro
matak so akalikdem mikakasi
sika’y manandon taklay kod labi
untan pa komon naantaan mo
nabalangak no sika’y naandid mundo

( salamat panbabasa yo ed saray
inkukurit ko, ilaluwan kon diyad
pansusulat ko et nabilay may kinon
yon pangasinan kayo. diyad panpaspasyar
kod nanduruman pasen, wala ray salitan
kaing-inges na pangasinan singa say
ibaloi, kankanaey...anggan saray salitad
mindanao. say labay ton ibaga ya so say
salitan pangasinan et ag basta limmesa
balet sikatoy sakeya ama na salita. siguro
say salita tayon pangasinan sakbay ya alaokan
na kastila et singa salitay ibaloi. salamat md)

020810 anggan malasay lay buek ko

2010-02-08T02:01:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

abangonak lan abayag
antis ya mantayagtag
sisimawey awawey ko
apalabas iran bekta
agko nalimatan iraman
so santing daray matam
saray manandon tungtungan
ya singa napisit so linang
na agew no agtaka nanengneng

natan limaran panagmamais
ya napanapnoy pannangis
lapur ta ni sulat ya kapinggis
agtuak ni asabid diyad alog
pakaskasi met so pusok abogbog
balet agak ni naandiyay ilalo
anggan malasay lay buek ko

020610 bangon kila

2010-02-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

nengneng yo pay kaliberliber yo
nasinag yo pa ni liwaway kabuasan
ap-aplusen toy toktok na kawayanan
talostalos toy aping yon akadanganan
bangon kila agi, aalagaren kayo
na inawa'y abangunan, manalisto

agyo la aalagarey pawit ed biyek taew
alingwanan yola kari irap dan sanagew
mipupuligesgesan ed uran tan tiagew
makalmo labat na malaem ya sentimos
no arom kulang ya kulang ya pangastos

bangon kila agi ta masiblet lay subol
pati say sintimos agto tanton matanol
duga latay anak dakedakel tilan maong
duga latay pasikatan, duga lay kalitong
iba-iba tayon italikarkar iyan imanes
piyan amin tayo et walay maluyon anges

020110 inaro kawalan mo

2010-01-31T20:06:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

simmelkag so eleng ko
insungap koy araldalem
inut kon insibok ed bilunget
anggapon balot so akaimano
aterak so akis kod pagew
singa say ulok et nakewkew

apilat so kareenan ed talba
sibsibek tutumbukey luluwa
naaros so limak ed lusek
akalispakak eges koy manawet
itawag komo'y ngaran mo balet
abayag kad lingwan naikutep

bektan maruksa inaro kawalan mo
natan nakaukulan takad sibay ko
aburay tepel tan kasil na liknak
aliling ko'y timel ya melmelag
inkainday kapalaran nen naplag
diyad dabukak ya mankulipagpag

...walay abantayan kon video
amay bii agaylay ugaog ton mandadapoypoy
ed dabuk aanapen to may singsing tod bilunget
kanyan inkurit koy limmesa ed nonot ko.

013010 aliling moy kumpapey

2010-01-30T15:43:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

aliingan ko'y kugip
napnua'y aro, alay samit
wala ni parparuk na pusok
tan sibsibek ya troktarok
inilaluwan kon walad lingwan
iray ula-ulan atubeg lay uran
naiyagos na erme'y kapalaran

alingo-ak inaro wadya kani
amamayum iray malinak ya labi
singak narerengel iray esaes mo
ya singa ililiing turay karinyo
aliling na kupapey mananap na dilo
anggano mailet et bukitkiten to

012710 karuman labat, agi

2010-01-27T02:16:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

kabuasan, matarareter so uran ed atep
wadya kamin narasan akatalikepkep
nababantag mi pontin mapasirayew
idadasal min untakken ya agnatakew
angub na insanglil ya belas, kapi
guguyuren toy anges paunnad kaabay mi

wala met may potpot ya managlakoy pandesal
agkamila makabali ta anggapoy panbayar
kanyan alagaren mi ugto umpano makapangan
no walay malaem ya tubod pinanlakuan
aay! mairap ya nonoten so salsalid bilay
singa unterter niray luak ya man-ay-ay

natan warriyak nin aka-ampatot, mabeleng
sobra so betel, mankegkeg, katekep toy dagem
ipapanaanik so panangan ta mataba lay puson
agko la labay so manaliw na balon karson
sakey ni manateet lay datal no unakarak
masyadoak lan ambelat, sakey ni nababainganak

*** insulat ko ya kasumpalan kon nanlapo ed
manaoag messageboard ya akibasa ed saray ula-ula
ray pinabpablin basakay-jets, queen, mccoy,atsi paz,
sunshine, roz, libsky, jj tan arum nira...salamat
ed sikayo agagi ta maliga
kinin mi-ooktapan ed salitan pangasinan.sigi inum
yo latay kapi piyan agnabaaw.
hmmmm ... manaruan kayo, say diyos manuna lawas.md

My Winter Song

2009-12-29T08:18:00.001-08:00

I don’t see birds or geese up there in the sky,
Where cold and snowflakes are hanging up high,
Outside my window, the world stood very still,
With robins and squirrels hiding from the chill.

Some days the wind blows all day and night long,
The booms and the zooms patter like a song,
The early morning ground plastered with white frost,
All the flowers and roses are very long gone lost,

With the moon and the stars up there at night,
They shine and twinkle amid the freezing bite,
For me to enjoy this lovely and pretty sight,
I’ll sit and watch through my room’s skylight.

I welcome the snow of March with delight,
Even with howling blizzard fury with its might…
Because alas, my world would come the spring,
And all around us, the little birds will sing.

112809 wadiyaak nin mangaaro

2009-11-28T08:07:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

nantultuloy so liket ko inaro
egnak anlemlemek ya taklay mo
manpukpukal so pusok anap toka
labay toy miamaamayo ed letakan
ya sika'y katupag ya ang-anguban
agmo komon isiblet irayan bekta
ta say matuwan anap ko et sika

gala inaro unla tad tambib na angalakan
ta diman iliing koray agagew ya tinaynan
amay samit daray apalabas, agko lingwan
nen anggapo kadiya sinulsulok yan ayuyang
agko nabilang iray sibek tan luwan apaktak
wadiyaak nin mangaaro tan malikeliketak

no bilang ta walaanak niray kakulangan
pasensiya kala, sikan sikani amaspasiyaan
ya inkurong kon inbaliw ed agos na kairapan
natan wala lay imis kon mapasirayew inaro
lapur wadya kad abay ko; tambal kay ermen
untan pa komon manando; saksi tay tawen

Through the Years

2009-11-24T18:51:00.001-08:00

Beloved, you should have known without my telling,
That you are the reason why I enjoy the joys of living,
That to live a life when you are far out of sight,
Is like living in the dark devoid of a guiding light.

You should know how much I love holding your hand,
Whenever we leave footprints that we scatter around,
The fun, the laughter we had with all the hugs and kisses,
Those are treasures I keep along with your sweet caresses.

Whenever you are with me, my heart races out of bound,
Because the effect of your touch is very deep and profound.
I always have pain and heartburn whenever you’re away,
Because I dream and think about you at night and all day.

I always told you how much I love and how I adore you,
And always assured you that all the things I said are true,
So when Mother earth is in the air whispering my name,
Remember I love you, always will , beyond remembering!

112309 betang tay mundo

2009-11-21T15:27:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

inabet moak ya alay liket mo
imis moray nayarin ipangan ko
gamet moy singa baton balani
mapekepeket anggapoy nalabi
mansalitaak komon maples ka
tamurum akatelpek ed bibil ko

nanperengan tay agaylay samit
nilakap moak nin walay kawiwit
apaktak ni bayong kon bitbit
intarok moak ed panangarom
narerengel koray daramurom
agko inimano betang tay mundo

A Blind Date - Life in USA, as a Novice

2009-11-21T09:01:00.001-08:00

AG

I had just immigrated to America and I had my first job in a Pharmaceutical company. I lived by myself and my life is like living on an island in a sea of white people. There were a lot of new and foreign things to me that I should learn but there was nobody around to orient me with these things American. Boredom and loneliness were powerful enough to make me entertain the idea of going back home where everything and anything were just at the back of my palm. To go to my job, I shared a car pool with a coworker who lived near my apartment. I was thankful to have a ride because our office was 15 miles away at the southern fringes of the city.

I was getting low on clean clothes and across the street was a sign that says “ Cleaners, Dry Clean”. Thinking that they would take laundry of any kind, I brought all my dirty clothes and underwear. The attendant kept on looking at me while she was counting the items, probably thinking I was a nut or a rich foreigner or stupid. I did it for several weeks until one Saturday morning while I was reading the magazines at the lobby; a guy with a basket full of laundry came up from the basement. I immediately went down and voila, several sets of washing machines and dryers were lying around. I discreetly studied how to operate the machines and I hurdled one problem (first lesson 101).

After working for a month, I decided to buy a car, having saved enough for the down payment. That day I wore my nice suit to work and planned to go directly to the car dealership in the evening after work. I thought that being dressed in business attire would give me respectability when I meet a car salesman. Rightly so, as I stepped inside the store, a friendly salesman met me and politely called me sir, the first time in America that I was addressed as such. I decided on an Opel Coupe and the salesman and I went to his office to discuss the business transaction. We settled on a price but as he was filling the form for my loan application, he found out that I did not have any credit record, none at all. I told him that I had a good job but that did not count, he wanted me to have my boss cosign for the ownership because I was new in the country without any credit record. Well, I left telling him that I would think about it. I was disappointed because I thought I was a cool gentleman when I entered the store but later on, I went out being what I was, a poor foreigner. (he he he)

I called my big brother who was 400 miles away living in a small town and that was where I ended up buying my Opel Coupe, without being asked of credit records because my brother knew the manager of the dealership.
Having a car provided me with mobility and lessen my boredom and homesickness. I cruised around on weekends to familiarize myself with the city. In one intersection while waiting for the traffic light to change to green, a pretty woman by the sidewalk waved at me, and thinking that she might be a coworker, I waved back. She was moving towards my direction when the lights turned green and I had to go. Early on that Monday morning, I related the story to a coworker, he laughed and told me to watch out for pretty women on the sidewalk because they are danger zone, that I would be in trouble (he he he another lesson 101).

At work, I was quiet most of the time, and my homesickness was very conspicuous. A lady coworker had always been nice to me; I enjoyed talking to her about the city, which she was familiar with very well. One day, she told me that her daughter who is in college is coming home for a long weekend and I could take her out if I wanted to. She showed me her picture and wow, she looked Italian like Mona Lisa, the woman that I was in love since I was sixteen. The tiny bells perked me up and I said I would be glad to do it. That Saturday morning, I went to a barber to have my Ringo Starr haircut shortened like Paul Newman, thinking that I might look like Charles Bronson because I had a mustache to add years to my boyish looks.

That evening, I dressed up and put on my best with my sports coat and tie. On my way to her house, I dropped by a flower shop to get a bouquet of flowers for Eleanor, my coworker. I rang the doorbell and Eleanor let me in. I gave her the flowers and Eleanor introduced me to Beth, her daughter who was full of smiles. Along we went and I asked her where she wanted to dine, she knew where the good restaurants were located. She opted for a Polynesian restaurant; she probably considered my familiarity with the food.

We did not have reservation so we had to wait for a while. We stationed ourselves in a corner and Beth talked and talked about college and anything under the sky. Across the room were two Asian (Chinese looking) waiters and they kept on looking at us, my sixth sense telling me that they were talking about us. Finally, we were seated and she ordered crab omelets and I had the same. She had non-alcoholic drink and I had the same because I don’t drink alcohol when I drive. I am one of the 75% of Asians who do not have the enzyme to metabolize alcohol.

While we were eating our dinner, the two waiters kept on looking at us, and I could see them through my side glances. After dinner, we decided to drive around town; she pointed areas that I should avoid at night. About eleven o’clock in the evening, I decided to take her home. I walked her to the door and being a gentleman, I took her hand and kissed it, thanking her for the good time.

As I was driving home, my thoughts lingered back to those two Chinese waiters. I knew for sure why those two squirts were talking about us. My date was about my height but she was twice my weight…(hey guys, there is no lesson 101 here, okay!)

So Far Away in my Dreams!

2009-11-14T08:06:00.000-08:00

As I plunged myself into the thick of the night,

To fathom its dark recesses for just a beam of light,

I was fortunate to see a twinkling, little lovely star,

Whose rays brought me to the direction of where you are.

Because you were the one I knew from that very start,

When your silhouette fitted the contour of my aching heart.

And as l looked to gaze upon your gentle, lovely face,

I knew then and there that I found my long ago wish.

The first time it started was in that very crowded room,

When your loveliness bounced by all the walls around.

Then the radiance of your eyes penetrated my inner soul,

It melted my yesterday’s past and I became yours to control.

Happy I was as I held you in a very tight embrace,

When beams of light showered all of my smiling face.

I held you tight, very tight and I liked to go dreaming,

But you left my arms empty when I woke that morning.

pinonot koy malet mon lakes

2009-11-13T18:39:00.000-08:00

MANONTON DALAN

malikeliketak lan nalilinggis taka
lalo la no walay imis mon milmila
natalusan kon anggapoy malaelaem
iran pankanawnawam ed sanngarem
ya mituyaw er siyak, andi bali la
masarag lay nengneng mo tan gana

diyar leleg na panalagar koy iyepay
bagyon beyewbeyew, marakel so oras
kon mumutekteken iray bektan lawas
samit daray ugalim agko nipulisay
ya mangidederew na magter a ligliwa
ya anggan kapigan agak balot unsawa

saray lakes mon malet ilalok ya unsabi
piyan nabiyer irayay ermen ya agpalabi
ya kukurkuren toy pagew kon mikakasi
itdan koy imano ta piyan walay linak
danganan kod labi, mangitarok na kugip
piyan diyad ibutay na balon agew akaimisak

Ulupan na Pangasinenses ed Hawaii

2009-11-02T23:46:00.001-08:00

Feast of Our lady of Manaoag - 2009

Find more photos like this on UP-n-HI

Glow Amidst the Darkness of the Night

2009-10-25T16:33:00.000-07:00

by Deedee Connors

As she has always done for a year now, she wakes up early in the morning to take care of the mundane things that comforts her family. Ionna is always a picture of hope and determination. No matter what came her way, be it good or bad, she always had a way in handling it in her own very unique way. She looks at life as floral garden where the continuous cultivation must be done to obtain the maximum beauty of flowers she planted. She always sees colours even amongst the green shrubberies. She is always hopeful regarding that in everyone there is the beauty hidden inside no matter how the surface presents. She finds friends everywhere and inspires those who are in the verge of losing hope. Her positive outlook in life brought so much life to her friends. Her kindness was beyond anyone could hope for and imagined. Most mistook her kindness as stupidity and naivety. Sadly, these qualities that I wish I could have had just a fraction were the very reason why Ionna is entombed to the unfairness of life.

It would have been a year ago since I last saw her. I remember chatting with her through the night. She was very excited about her move and being in a new surroundings. I remember how she described her new home. She said, “ If paradise is for drones, then I want to be amongst them.” I almost fell off my chair from laughing. I said, that is a way too descriptive for me. She followed to persuade me to go and visit her in her new home. I have always known her to be this easy-going lady but never have I expected to hear so much joy and glee from her voice, her eyes lit to spark even the darkest of the night about her new adventure away from the whistle and bustle of her old life. I thought to myself, this is the woman who said she would never leave her comfort zone yet at the drop of a hat she moved to follow the love of her life.

I was a little apprehensive about the suddenness of the whole thing but I have always put my trust in the wholeness of her good judgment. Somehow for some apparent reason or the other, I have always felt this tingling pinch on my chest each time I hear her happiness. It is almost as if this was a prelude to a storm that would somehow demolish the totality of the extravagance of her glorious glee. I did not want her to sense my paranoia so I went along and celebrated her happiness. I miss her dearly, yes that was probably the reason why I was not fully feeling the joy she felt. Not having her around put a void in my day-to-day existence. I have always been around her for the past 15 years I have known her. She has always been there for me even during the darkest and the most treacherous trials I had to face. She was everything I wish I could have been. Her strength reverberates and serves as pathogens of hope to those of us who are somewhat weak. I have always felt like she was too good for her other half. But then again that is what you feel when you hold someone like Ionna into such high regard. It was not my friendship with her merely that saw how good she is. But I saw the affect on people when she graces them with her presence. Her generousity is beyond compare. At times I thought that there must be something hidden in the depths of her in that this goodness in the surface is a way in trying to envelope her pain. Yes, I am paranoid. Maybe because I care so much about her, I want no pain and disappointment to ever brace her. Yes, I am very protective of my friend.

Then weeks ago the brilliance of the sun completely brought darkness to my folding world. Ionna has gone and never utter the word goodbye to anyone. It was not very like her to just disappear without saying a word to any of her friends. She gave no indications that things were not right with her life. I am not certain how she managed to cover her pain and internalize them all. She told no one about her unhappiness that started to unravel right before her the moment she moved away. All I heard was how perfect her life was with her husband. How much she enjoys being a homemaker and a soccer Mum. There was not a single sign that would somehow reveal her true feelings. What kind of a friend am I to miss the most important detail from the friend I have thought I knew so well. Questions started to fall in queue in my mind. Blames arose greatly. But to whom should I lay the anger I feel inside me. What happened there? Why did I miss the signal that my friend was trying to send me? She needed help and yet I was not there to lend mine when she was in need. What kind of a friend was I? What made her go the extreme in taking that fatal plunge in that fateful night? What happened in her household that resulted her to crack into a senseless decision of taking her own life? She loved her husband and her child more than she could love herself. She lived for them. They were her every breath. She gave up everything she had known about life to be with them. I know that she sacrificed her own happiness to make them happy. But why would she end it all in just a moment like that?

Ah, the rain is such a welcome sight for me as I trudge along the riverbanks of the Hudson. The raindrops get bigger, drench me soaking wet like I just swam across the river. I close my eyes and wish the water could wash away the heaviness of my sadness and sorrow. Emptiness slowly cocooned my wondering soul. I wander around in a senseless direction as if to seek answers to all the queries I have been raising in my mind. I sat down on a bench overlooking the vastness of the city. I want to get lost momentarily amongst the flocks of birds that now dim and hover the already cloudy sky above me. Looking up in the sky, my tears meet the rain as if to join forces and avenge my pain. I tremble not from the breezy cold snap of an early October morning but from the fury that now slowly fumes my sense of tranquility. What do I mourn more? Is it the lost of an incredible person or my inability to extend myself when I was direly needed? I want to submerge my whole being in the abyss of nothingness in hopes that what I now feel is simply a bad dream I incur from a long deep sleep.

Ionna was an every sense of a wonder. Those she loved and dedicated her brief stay here on earth were so fortunate. But those were the very people who never saw the type of a person she was. She hid her displeasure and remarkably continued to keep things in order for her family. She never wanted to burden anyone with any of her complaints so she withheld such sorrow and loneliness until it reached to a magnitude her strength could no longer bear. She always sought for love and affection, for some reason she had difficulty in her quest for something so simple to give to such a gentle soul like she was. I want to bring back my steps to the time when she and I shared laughter until the sun shone upon us. How ironic is it to feel so alone amidst the so-called comfort of your family? She had in passing told me on occasions such statement like “ I am an outsider in my own family.” I never once stopped and think what she meant by that. All I saw was the superficiality of her happiness. I failed to look into her eyes and see through what really was happening to my friend.

My bitterness over the lost of my friend sprawled upon the vastness of the world that I now see as foreign. My rage exhumes a whole meaning of revenge. But to whom should I implore this anger I fiercely feel? Was it her refusal to seek a friend’s comfort when she thought she needed some? Or was it her husband’s callousness and ineptitude to give back what she longed for? She did not ask for much in return, in fact she did not ask for anything. She was the one who gave and gave.

Pepeng's Fury

2009-10-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

These are just a few of the hard hit areas in Pangasinan by typhoon Pepeng. Government officials have come and gone and calamity funds have been allocated, but homes and livelihood will take a while to restore. Our displaced kabaleyans are in need of our assistance. Please visit Pangasinan.Org and visit individual towns where you'll find groups of people organizing such relief efforts. (Click on the pictures to zoom in and my gratitude to the photographers featured---ricky)

Urdaneta City

Santa Barbara

San Carlos City

Manaoag

Caranglaan, Calasiao

Dagupan City

Bunuan

101809 witwit moy bulawit

2009-10-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

terter kad lupak ya mannangis
teneb moy laman kon marungis
itarok moak agos ya mabiskeg
punasen moak no sikatoy nepeg
ta say kesaw ko et manan-ando
anggapon balot so mangi-imano

nagngel koy billit elekan dak
basyuen ko komon; naksawanak
inyurong kod pitek; ambetel
amagaay teeko singaak atikel
intangay kod tawen; mikerew
panangasin makaluwag na pagew

saray ula-ulak agda nagngel
aliknak anges ko lay nagetel
ginuyurak na aralem ya ugip
alimatan koy nangis tan kugip
aliknak so aping kon asasnit
atakiling koy awit mon bulawit

October Song

2009-10-03T09:04:00.001-07:00

AG

Welcome the cool and warm days of October,
To enjoy the fruits of the past joyous summer,
With trees flushing the beams of the glowing sun
While the wind flutters the leaves one by one.

Why then the leaves so bright and aglow,
With matching hues of purple and yellow,
From afar they gleam like treasure of gold,
Gently they fall when the wind gets cold?

Why then do squirrels build winter crib,
With leaves and twigs that’s neatly weaved,
Safely anchored on branches to make room,
For comfort and warmth for their honeymoon?

Why then with leaves littered on the ground,
The antelopes and the deer would linger around,
To feed on acorns, the nuts and the repining grain,
So their body is ready for the cold, biting pain?

It’s because autumn is the time to say goodbye,
To the spring and summer’s bright blue sky,
So we could look forward for Thanksgiving Day,
When winter comes with the cold wind to stay.

092909 punasen toy pannangis

2009-09-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

ambetebetelay sibok na dagem
atagey laray kumpol na lurem
dakela sibersiber iran andirit
mamanok mankakaykayed paritpit
balitok laray daway kapageyan
malinlinak so agos na angalakan

inpelag koy bulong laktip toy kerew
awiten tod sikan mamasibeg na pagew
nakneb balet agton balot timmapew
inyesaes kor dagem liingen toy pusom
balet naalawat na alimbusabos naukom
mairap manaya singaak unlabot er dagum

anggaman untan wala ni ray ilalo
ya diyad pagew kon naynay amamayo
ya no untayagtag lay agew ed bukig
narengel ko lay pekpek daray tabig
ed angalakan, nanonotan koray imis
mon alay samit, linget mon ungugulis
er pagew mo, punasen toy pannangis

090109 erel moy kaunuran ya imis ko

2009-09-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

agmoak manaya natepelan
ya ilingwan anggan kabekta
iner lara may linglinggis
daray malugon matam
iner laray samit na balikas
ya inbulos na dilam

antak walaak nid pagew mo
anggan inbesngaw moy lingwan
matuwa natalusan taka inaro
nanlapu nen sikay angikaindan
akin balet et inbaybayag mon
mansasagabay iliw tan ermen

wadiyaak ya manalagar er sika
ya mangakod saratan ya likna
kayepkepan toy parok na beleng
pabuselen toy liket tan imeng
singa nen wala ta nid kalangweran
naynay sika tan duay mansasalaran

kunwari kani ... uhmmmm

2009-08-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

agak makainges ed masyadon paga
inyukom pepet moy bibil mo batika
antoy nibesngaw kon asakitan ka
aabuten taka balet akalugan kala
nilak so abong yo et anggapo ka
nanalagarak ya abayag anggan labi
amagaay mulagat ko agka simmabi

akaugipak ed dulang ya mannononot
antak bimmarong kan sikay unaamot
aliingan kon walay ules kon maimeng
danganan ya samyoy balibalid eleng
agabayag apasikmatan takan unlelepsag
say ganam sisinagay marmarlang ya hasag
aliknak, petang na aplos moy makapabesag

"kunwari kani, uhmmm" inkuan mon inkarot
anengneng koy matam mansiyayap, mamapasnok
ipupulisay koy limam; singa alamad sikop
inanguban taka, indeedeen mon ag-akasemek
naikbanan moy hasag say salming toy atemek
natan wadiya tan dua mareereen ed bilunget
nalmay so paspasnok mon unbabawid kawewet

A Reflection

2009-08-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

Anonymous

I was at an airport coffee shop waiting for my flight, eyes glued to my book, “Hillside landscaping” a soft voice said, “Nice book, my husband had that too.” "Had?", I asked. "Yes, he is gone, was not able to finish his project", she said. I sensed loneliness in her voice as she tried to finish her sentence. "I am sorry to hear that…". "No, don’t be, he was happy even at his last moment. He was 67 when he passed away, a year ago." I looked at her, she could not be more than 40, size 7, 110 about 5’4” in flat shoes and very regal looking. Sporting a blue blazer and khaki pants, "You shop at Talbot", I said. "Must be your wife’s shop too", she said with a smile. She was looking at my finger where my college ring is instead of my wedding ring. "Oh, yes, she is at home recuperating", I said. She looked at the clock, "Oh! Gotta go, I am heading to Chicago. Good luck and take care of your wife." She grabbed my hand and handed her calling card as she walked away. I couldn’t help but follow her with my eyes as she faded among the crowd. A devilish thought crossed my mind, but instead of keeping the card, I tossed it away.

It was a two-day business trip. I couldn’t wait to get home. For two days, I reflected on my life and what lies ahead of me. My boys are gone, both on their own – all the promises I made to my wife had been accomplished. My spare time is consumed by the landscaping in progress and my penchant for carpentry. As I entered the house, my wife greeted me with a kiss. I looked at her and couldn’t tell whether she is in pain as she never complained. This is her second bout with cancer and just a week ago she was in the hospital. She underwent a mastectomy and still with drainage attached to her body. A year ago, she was confined in a hospital for broken femur and took couple of months to recover. Ten years ago, she had the same procedure, right mastectomy, and she had fully recovered.

That evening I cooked bitter melon with shrimps, her favorite. As we were eating, I asked her if she wanted to go to California for a trip with me. It will be a mini-vacation except for three full conference days. I gave her a set of Mikimoto pearl earrings and necklace, something that she had been eyeing. She looked at me and laughed, you are up to something, she said. No, it just looks good on you with your black outfit, I said. She did not finish the glass of Peju Liana, a late harvest wine, and I poured it with mine not wasting it.

After dinner, I excused myself to light a cigar – a reward to myself. She joined me at the porch and we talked of the days when we just started, a multi-colored car, under the constant surveillance of a tow truck, a studio apartment where you can view the whole living quarters including the kitchen. She held my hand and said, if I don’t make it, I want you to get married again. I know you will not have a problem looking for one, she said with a smile. She complained of the cigar smell, I hope you will quit those cigars, she said, as she left to retire for the night.

I have known her for 37 years now, including the four years of dating prior to marriage. She was petite, beautiful in a frail 97 lbs. She was the only woman I introduced to the family. In those 37 years of knowing her, I never heard her speak ill of anyone. Soft spoken, never heard her curse and never nagged. There are two cardinal rules my boys and I follow at home. Be careful with her orchids, and be ready for Sunday church. No excuses, if you are at home, you will be going to church on Sundays except when you are sick. So even when I catch the red eye flight and come home on a Sunday morning, I am ready for church by 11:00 am, and be wide awake. She wins the argument by not arguing - the silent treatment she gave us sufficiently scares the living daylights out of us. If I have to secure obedience from my boys, all I have to say is "you will break your mother’s heart".

As I sipped my wine, I realized that I draw my strength from her. I remember twenty years ago, as we were having our Sunday breakfast, the phone rang, I answered and calmly said wrong number. The phone rang for the second time, wrong number, I responded again. The third time it rang, she said she will answer it. I froze, she listened patiently and at the end she said, “If he is at your apartment this afternoon, you will never hear from me; if he is not, I hope you will have the decency of not bothering this household again,” then she calmly hang up the phone. She finished her breakfast..., tears running down her cheek. There was an eerie silence.

After breakfast, I apologized. I said there was no justification for what happened, and I couldn't retrace my step back for resurrection. I asked her to look at her contribution to this, but I totally accepted the blame. If she wanted me out, all she had to do was pack my bag and I would leave. I would give sufficient family support and would give her whatever she asked. If she wanted to work it out, to pack for an instant vacation – we would figure out our destination along the way. My youngest was just a month old and my oldest was three. We packed our luggage and into the Colt Station Wagon. We drove along I-95 into I-64 along the Eastern Sea Board. For ten hours, stopping only for rest and food, we drove without direction. She never mentioned what happened – we ended up somewhere in North Carolina.

For the past few weeks, I never lost sight of her. I asked her if she enjoyed our California trip, she said, immensely. I know that we are both in the autumn of our years and are now enjoying each others' company. With her pending chemotherapy, rough road is ahead of us. We were looking at the different headgear for her – and I assured her that she will look pretty in them. She said I always have wandering eyes – I told her that I see with my heart, and I see the important things in my life. She smiled – she is reminded of that bookmark she gave me. "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye." (Antoine de St. Exupery).

081409 asakbay ya tuno

2009-08-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN
(sikatoya may patalus na anlong
ya "nasapa a samiweng"

SINSINEK itetelmer toy kareenan
igagayugoy toy maermen ya kaparukan
natatayeketekay terter na luluwa
pinepet toy bibil to, komon mansalita
balet apaabetay lakap tan angub
nanpauli'y imis, nanbusel so ilalo

"kapigan kalad tan inaro" inkuan to
"abayag la inaro ya babantayan ta ka"
malet ya gemgem ed takeb ko, aliknak
masamita esaes tetepetan to ak
on met lan on so inasigtak ya inye-ebat
karotkaroten to ak no aliway imis ko
ansakit ya unagasang balet itetepel ko

nanak-akar kami babansagan mi tugtug
sayaw na hindi, maligliga manbagtog
angngad manbaybayes iray lawis mi
angub-anguban koy aping to kalamor
manel-elek, kinkindatan ko, NALILIKETAN

081409 nasapa a samiweng

2009-08-17T01:49:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

SASAINNEK immamegna’t ulimek
inguyguyud nat malmalday a bitek
maar-arbisan luluwa nga agtedtedted
inapput nat bibig na, agsarita koma
ngem rakep ken agek met nasungad na
nangparnuay isem, nagsaringit namnama

“kaatno kapay dita dungngo” kinunana
“nabayagen dungngo a buybuyaen ka”
nailet a petpet tay takyag ko, nariknak
nasam-it nga ar-arasaas salsaludsudennak
wen met la wen ti inpan ko sungsungbat
kuddokuddotennak no madit isem ko
nasakit nga sumanaang ngem iturtured ko

nagnagna kami kumkumpasan mit ayug
sala dagiti hindi, naal-aligaga agkanabtuog
aginggana agin-indayog dagiti siksiketmi
agsalsala kami, agpinpinerreng kami
agek-agekak man tay pingping na piman
agkakararungiit, kiddakiddayak, MAAY-AYATAN

***
ala! kapadak nga ilokano agbasa kayo latta
nadiyos unay ti agngina.md

Mindless Travels

2009-08-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

Pio “Bering” Beringuella

This is the first of a series of short stories of un-planned spur-of-the moment travels I did in my twenties. These are the “stories of my life” as we continue to travel mindlessly with my kids to today. Each is unique and makes a good story at any Happy Hour. We always laugh together as we recall these travels around the dinner table. I do not recommend these travels to anyone with a sound mind.

Sun, Sand, and Surf

February 1982

I’ve been living in Guam for quite sometime and have good memories about life next to the sea. Had it been a vacation, it would have been endless days of sun, sand, and surf. People watching were a sight I will never get tired of. And the sunsets were beautiful as ever. However, something was missing. I didn’t enjoy such lifestyle anymore. Life had become a bore; having recently broken up with my girlfriend made life more miserable. I needed a break so I quit a dream job and sold all of my belongings. I was determined not to go back to Guam.

I had been in Manila for two months and I still have to see the country. I have not really ventured out of metropolitan Manila other than occasional day trips to nearby provinces.

One lazy afternoon, Sofia and I were having a late lunch when she said, “You and I are going to Mindoro this weekend.” Startled, I said, “You and I are going to where?!” I started thinking I had been propositioned for a romantic weekend getaway. Why Mindoro? I haven’t been in Mindoro. All I know about Mindoro was what I learned in geography class in grade school. It is the land of the water buffalos. How romantic is that?!

“Yes, you and I are going to attend Elsa’s wedding.” Sofia answered.

“Elsa has a boyfriend?”

“Elsa and Joey have been together since college. They went to the same grade school in Calapan.”

“They are just like us then – childhood sweethearts.” I said with a smile.

Sofia didn’t think what I just said was funny.

Elsa is Sofia’s close friend in college. I’ve meet Elsa only once. I was told she wanted to meet Sofia’s new boyfriend. I was then a very charming but calculating guy. I stayed quiet as we had snack at McDonald’s on Morayta Street. I remember the place to be noisy as we were in the “University Belt”. I was surprised to learn that those ladies behind the counter were English speaking. I found out later that one has to have at least finished college to work at McDonald’s. There was no McDonald’s when I left the Philippines. I felt I was in a different world eating at McDonald’s in Manila.

A day later on a Friday, we took a bus to Batangas Port to catch the ferry to Calapan, Mindoro. Zeny and Tet were with us. I thought Sofia and I would have a romantic weekend alone in Calapan. We had two chaperons but to those who didn’t know, I was one lucky guy with three dates; not one but three lovely ladies. I couldn’t describe the looks on the hotel room boys faces as they peek into our room when they delivered a few extra towels. And to make it more interesting, the only room available was with a king bed!

The church was a walking distance from our hotel. Yet we arrived late. The wedding was over. The wedding party was on their way out of the church. And on we went to the reception.

We were total strangers at the reception; we were the only out of town guests. We have no choice but to entertain ourselves. When the bride and groom came to our table, we asked, “Where is a good place to visit while we are in Mindoro.” Everyone said, “Go to Puerto Galera. It is only two hours jeepney ride from here. It’s a resort and it has a beautiful beach. You will enjoy you visit.”

I started thinking, “Wow! Sun, sand, and surf!” I admit I was missing home and I can’t wait to get to the beach.

We went back to our hotel room in a hurry; put on some comfortable travel clothes; and took the jeepney to Puerto Galera as instructed. Puerto Galera was not really that far but it took two us hours to get to the cove. The jeepney traveled at crawl speed through narrow winding dirt road through the mountain. The road was too narrow that when two jeepneys meet one has to back up to a wider road for them to be able to pass each other. The jeepney was also packed to the roof. How those on the roof managed to hung on and get to our destination safe and sound is beyond me to today.

It was four in the afternoon when we arrived at the port to Puerto Galera. As we were dismounting, I asked the jeepney conductor, “When will the last trip back to Calapan?” The conductor politely said, “Sir, the last trip already left at two this afternoon.”

Upon hearing, we all asked ourselves, “What will we do now?” We planned to just go to Puerto Galera for a short sightseeing and maybe have an early dinner and then get back to our hotel in the city. We did not bring anything with us; only what we have on ourselves.

We started asking around where we could buy some clothes and sundries. Luckily it was market day so we pick some shorts, t-shirts, and sundries. We took a 15-minute motorized boat ride to Puerto Galera*. Upon landing we noticed some Nipa Huts. There were a few foreigners partying. We found out later as we started asking questions that Puerto Galera was really a hang-out for those who indulge in drugs. I said, “Let’s find a room for the night.”

The water was so inviting so we played our way towards the cabins. There were a few cabins tucked near the trees in clusters on the far side of the beach.

The water was crystal clear. We occupied ourselves wading on the clear cool water. We pick some shells on the beach. It was always a challenge as the wave will come to shore and as quickly as it came it washed what you were about to pick up back to the sea. I don’t think we ever took the shells we gathered back to Manila. The unexpected experience was worth much more than we had imagined.

We watched the sun go down before we ventured back to find a cabin for the night. We found a nipa hut with thatched roof nostalgic of what we used to sleep whenever my mother took us kids to our farm.

“Where can we find a restaurant for dinner?” I asked our hostess as we were hungry.

“Sir, we do not have restaurants in the cove.” she answered.

“But we are hungry. Where can we find something to eat?”

“Sir, just tell us what you want to eat and we will cook it for you.”

We had fresh fish, vegetables, and rice. The food was delicious but I couldn’t say that for sure because we were really hungry. We could have eaten a whole pig alive if that’s what’s on the dinner table.

After dinner, there is not much to do but to retreat tour cabin. I carried a playing card in my travel pack so we played poker under a dim gas lamp. I would have preferred playing strip poker but I have three lovely ladies with me. I was outvoted! Yet another romantic getaway fantasy ruined!

We played well past midnight. Our hostess had to wake us up for lunch. We barely caught the last trip back to our hotel. We got back in Calapan just in time for the last ferry ride back to Batangas.

We left the boys at the hotel wondering what a wonderful night we had! We could tell from their looks the moment we stepped in the lobby.

My reputation is kept intact; maybe a notch higher!

PBB/08-13-09

* Today, Puerto Galera is well developed for tourism. It is not what it was when we got stranded in that cove; the water was pristine.

Primitivo Consul, a WWII Veteran

2009-08-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

My name is Flora Consul Sakornsin (Bolinao High School class of 1953). I am a practicing Pediatrican, Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics in the United States of America, and feel that I owe my career to the love and dedication of my father, Primitivo Consul. I am the sole surviving daughter of Veteran of WWII Primitivo Consul, XC 6 204 141. His widow, my mother, Leoncia de Perio Consul, has since passed on. My father died as a prisoner of war at the concentration camp O Donnell at Capas, Tarlac, after surviving the Bataan Death March. In honor of him, I had written a poem about him (published in Cape Bolinao High School Newspaper).

I recall his last tearful day of departure when he had volunteered to be inducted the USAFFE during World War II. He strongly believed that it was his patriotic duty and responsibility to serve his country. He had served as a scout for the American forces, years before, but volunteered to return to duty. His pictures as a scout are cherished memories decorating my home in Florida, USA.

Sincerely,
Flora Sakornsin, MD.
21418 Sheridan Run, Fl., 33928, USA

Adventure of a Lifetime

2009-08-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

by Ricky

Newlyweds, broke, and adventurous, my new hubby and I embarked on a honeymoon to be told generations to come.

With nothing but a duffel bag full of clothes and a little cash we collected as wedding gifts, he somehow convinced me that traveling across the Pacific and stopping at strange places was the way to spend our first month of being married. So off we went to Travis Air Force Base in Northern California and put our name down for this adventure of a lifetime, air travel courtesy of The US Mac Flight (Military Airlift Command). Within minutes of reserving our consecutive seat assignments, our numbers were called. Feeling lucky, we boarded this huge monstrous cargo plane and sat facing backwards on the second level deck of this C-5 with only one window. I should have ran back to the tarmac right there and then, but hey, I was so in love with my new sweetie-pie, I didn’t care if I was seated on top of those containers in the belly of the plane!

A few hours later, we landed at Hickam AFB. The engines were turned off, no air condition, and there we sat for about two hours in this dark plane. We were told they couldn’t find stairs! Believe it or not, Hickam in Nov. of ’86 did not have enough stairs for their planes! Instead, they opted to connect a ladder from the passenger deck to the cargo deck in the back of the plane where the back door was opened. I somehow managed to climb down this 40-foot high ladder and was taken aback by the sight of this plane with its gaping tail end. Such sight! Containers, the size of classrooms, lined the bottom of the plane.

While waiting for our next flight to take us to who knows where, we ran into friends and were invited to stay the night. The following morning we lost our seats to another couple traveling on an emergency, but we were in Honolulu, so we made the most of it by visiting the infamous Pearl Harbor and Diamond Head. Our third day in Hawaii was our lucky day; we were able to secure two seats to Guam on another C-5. On our nth hour being on this plane, we were told we were low on fuel and that we were to refuel in midair. And sure enough, we heard sounds outside that would cause any commercial plane traveler to panic, but lovey-dovey reassured me many times that it’s a piece of cake. Then a vertical drop happened! It was so sudden and so unexpected that even the guys in uniform had to catch their breath. That maneuver was repeated at least three times and by then, there was a sea of nauseous odor working its way to where we were seated, near the very back. My honey-bunny was trying hard to explain the precision involved when one tries to fit a pipe in a hole only a few inches in diameter while flying at a certain speed. The two pilots had problems connecting, so one plane, OUR plane, had to drop altitude each time they missed to avoid collision!

We finally made it to Anderson AFB, but our landing was so rough that oxygen masks dropped from the ceiling! And before my prince could utter a sound, I gave him this look that became known as the “DON’T EVEN TRY IT!” look throughout our marriage. Although the guys in uniform were kidding around when they said that our pilot was still earning his airtime, part of me suspected it to be true. We were in no hurry to get out of Guam though. We were stranded in this beautiful, little island for five days. We checked into the base lodging facility, rented a car, and bummed around some of the nicest beaches we’ve ever seen. We found isolated stretches of sand with coconut trees full of fruits swaying and begging to be climbed. We lazed under the sun from morning to night and watched spectacular sunsets unhindered by anything across the horizon. They had coves, falls, and cliffs named after lovers, what could be more perfect! We drove on highways too short to accelerate to the posted speed limits and stopped and picked “atis” and “guava” on the side of the road. Guamenians, in general, were the friendliest bunch. We stopped at this market on the side of the road to ask for directions, and two hours later, we we’re asked to stay for dinner. The day we left for Manila, we went back to say our goodbyes, and the woman touched my stomach and whispered, “it’s a girl” to my ear. I laughed it off and onward to Manila we went on a C-1 this time, another cargo plane but much smaller than the C-5.

There were parallel benches on either side of this plane facing each other, and in the middle were crates strapped in huge netting. I was the only civilian this time around and I could sense that deep camaraderie between these men and women. It didn’t matter what branch, what race, what gender, what insignia they had on. They’re brothers and sisters looking out for each other. I had only been a military wife for a couple of weeks, but I was certain my husband was in good hands.

It was a short ride to Subic where we boarded an air-conditioned bus to take us to Manila. My hubby of two weeks was convinced he knew the way to his grandfather’s house in Cavite. We ended up taking the long route to get there. I was introduced to aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, lolos, and lolas. His father’s side has three generations of US Navy, Marine, Air Force, and the Coast Guard. Boot camp pictures line one wall of the living room, freshly shaved, on guard, and proud as can be. Another wall was lined with wedding pictures that date back to early 1900s. Hubby quickly found a spot for our 8 by 10 we brought home as pasalubong.

Amidst everyone’s disapproval, we also insisted on traveling to Bataan to visit hubby’s birthplace, and where the political climate was not the safest. We took public transportation and drove for almost five hours just to get to the other side of Manila Bay. NPAs were notorious where we were heading, so we did everything we could to blend in with the locals. The old guard was just toppled and the excitement of a new government was evident throughout the streets and highways littered with yellow everything. The general population was upbeat, hopeful to this new dawn of democracy Filipinos were ready to die for. In hindsight, it could have been and should have been a momentum for great things to come...

Days later we heard that flights out of Subic were limited to one or two, so we camped at the airport until we caught a plane out to Anchorage, where it was twenty below and we had to circle the airport a couple of times and wait till they cleared the runway of black ice! We stayed grounded in California for the next nine months until our daughter was born☺

080809 maapit ya karinyo

2009-08-08T03:17:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

manpultopultot iray palpalayupoy
ya amamayuen toy mais ya inugoy
kalasakas; diyad layag koy maknol
babansagan toy pusoka singa tambol
ta apakismatan koy ulpom ya marmol
tan asabit so anges kon tarok toy ilol

manim-imis kan sinegep moy abong
limmingaw kan say giling inpaunong
sala ya inar-aro unnaak nin manbaka
taneman koy paserser ta mamauran la
mantarya ka laot lad ugton marakep
amay lauya komon ya anlemelemek

saray gulis kugip ko’y baog mon makinis
manterter so linget ko balet wala may imis
ta walay ilalon sabian takan ambalbalingit
aliling toy busel diyad agew unkukulandit
untan pa komon ta say sibeg koy manando
mipupuligesgesan ya unaapit ed karinyo

A Trip to a Casino

2009-08-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

by AG

On weekends, one of the favorite destinations is the casino, which would likely be crowded especially after the pay period. The other day, my wife and I visited a casino to play the slot machines and then had crab legs buffet before going home. It is always fun to be in a casino, the attraction is like the north pole magnet with the gamblers being guided by the compass needle to its direction.

The Southeast Asians are probably the most enthusiastic players when it comes to gambling. I remember that when I was young, every street in town had a place where people went to play cards or bingo or mahjong and every town had a big time cock fight arena where on Sundays, the sabongeros went to enjoy their sport.

I grew up where gambling was a form of entertainment or something to do to pass the time. But for a young boy like me, it was playtime involving money instead of toys. There was a time when I polished shoes (shoe shine) in the morning of Saturdays, which was the market day and my afternoons would be spent playing cards (poker) with the neighborhood kids. My father detested gambling, neither did he smoke nor drink, and I had to be careful not to be caught. To be caught would mean a reprimand, usually with spanking, that’s why we did our gambling in the isolated places in the middle of bamboo grooves or away from my parent’s house. If I won, I would have good time in the cinemas and the panciterias of Dagupan. But if my luck ran out, I would be out early in the morning of the following day to polish shoes again. That was the picture of the early training I had on how to manage and take risk, he heh.

The first time I went to a casino was in the mid 1980s when my wife and I went to Reno with my dad and my brother. We watched the MGN grand parade, a topless show where my dad was bewildered, his focus was intensed on the dancing girls with his eyes scrutinizing a certain anatomy. I noticed his eye balls popping out like a spring, and at the end of the show he asked me “why are their bobs very firm and of the same size?” I smiled and responded that the boss wanted no other moving parts while they are doing their dance routine, he heh. I was excited to gamble, because it was my first time to be in a casino. I realized then that gambling with chips lessen my consciousness of the value of money. The chips were like toy money that we could part with easily.

What is appealing about gambling that attracts a lot of people? Ancient history have records of gambling, in Middle East and India were found dice that were 4000 years old and even up to 40,000 years ago, people had gambled as revealed by artifacts that were found. In every decision we make, there is always a certain degree of risk involved, but if the risk taken is extensive, then it becomes gambling. To me, if the risk involved would affect the life of an individual, either negative or positive, that would be gambling. People gamble because of one reason, the chance to acquire a bigger return on a bet, on top of the thrill that comes with it. The feeling is easy money once you win, but statistics show that in the long run, the gambler would lose because of his limited funds versus the unlimited funds of the house. The thing to remember about gambling is the fact that the odds always favor the house or the casinos. I watched a documentary about Las Vegas Casinos featuring Mr. Wynn, who owns the Wynn and Mirage, etc and his comment at the end was “ the casino will always win” or else they will not be in business.

Ever since that first visit, we made a yearly family vacation to Las Vegas, a week to enjoy the place, the shows, and the gambling and the following week was reserved for visits with relatives in California. We stopped doing the routine when my son refused to join us; he did not enjoy the place so in a way he helped us diversify to different vacation plans. In the mid 1990s, Las Vegas came to town via the riverboats. Because gambling came in very handy and very accessible, it lost its novelty. We still visit on a regular basis but the excitement that I used to experience diminished. It probably goes with the saying that says “we crave for things that we don‘t have, but take for granted things that we have“.

Once you visited a casino, the lure to go back is irresistible. The first dollar that you lost will haunt you for the rest of your gambling adventure. It is like the feeling of losing a competition, you wanted to win the next time, but the next time becomes a routine next. Once gambling becomes a habit, it would be tough to break until there is an intervention or if you went broke, meaning that you became an addict. Always be aware that the casino will always win in the long run, so if you frequented the place, you would surely lose your wealth. The casinos’ yearly income is in the billions, generated from the gambler’s pocketbooks.

In my younger days, I attempted to count cards during the blackjack card games, but I found out that even how well I did my homework, there is still a very important factor that could influence my winning, it is called LUCK.

072609 imis na rosas ed patalan

2009-07-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

galarugor na baton aayusay danum
teleken to kan sambaten toy imanum
diyad andi kaarawian silong na taytay
wadman kan aka-imis mamaypayapay
linget na muling puraren toy nengneng
managos, manmegket, tontoney eleng

inaplos koy muling ko insan ko inwalsi
tarok toy ambasan dabuk, ay! makagigi
makapa-ib-ibeg mangetel na kangkong
makalnan esaes, “aleg, aliwan maong “
tuloy so akar kon sipsipaen koy agos
ngalngalin saray dapan koy nanosnos

asabian takan lalapirlapiren moy gamet mo
agay lay peles mon angiderew na panyolito
panpunas ko lawari linget, naangub koy samyo
ambalbalingit alimatan ko no antoy gawaen ko
sineleng koray matam, masayadoy kuyep to
imbeneg moak, inasikasum laray pepesakan mo

inyurong kod baton akatungilang, manpainawa
alimen koy apangat mananiweng dimmapod sika
tiplaken ko komon, aleg umpan mamasnuka ka
anggad didilakutan toy layag mo, limmingaw kan
siyak so papalsaan mo, akaimisak sikay kinindatan
anemet kay intupak mod siak, asakbungay lupak
“palimer nen biktoria”, benben kon makakaimisak

Short Stories of the Heart – Epilogue

2009-07-26T15:01:00.000-07:00

Pio “Bering” Beringuella

It’s expensive!

Wednesday, March 31, 1982; the day that I had to leave for San Francisco has arrived. It was not easy saying goodbye even after Sofia and I agreed for her to follow me to San Francisco.

It took months for her to arrange her travel; months that were unbearable for a man in love. Five months later she was on official government travel to San Francisco. The Consul met and escorted her through Immigration and Customs as was customary of diplomats.

I was anxious to get her familiar with life in America. Mid-way home from the airport, I let her behind the wheels. It turned out that it was her first time to drive. What made it worse was that my car had stick shift! Not bothering to think of the consequences if the police ever catch her driving without a license, I laughed innocently as she had a few stops and goes; and jerks up and down the hills. It didn’t take long before I noticed red and blue flashing lights behind us.

“Is there something wrong with your car?” The officer politely asked.

“I am teaching my girlfriend how to drive. She just arrived from Manila.” I said with a sense of confidence in my voice; maybe a little brag as Sofia looked so beautiful that evening.

The officer didn’t think that was funny.

“May I see your ID, driving permit, and car registration please?”

Sofia looked at me as she pulled out her passport. Realizing that Sofia had diplomatic immunity, the officer said, “Sir, I have to give you a citation for letting her use your car without a permit. May I have your driver license please?”

While waiting for the officer to come back from his patrol car, I told Sofia that all I needed to do was to pay the fine. Everything will be alright.

And so I thought until I went to the Court to pay the fine. I was told to appear in court.

“Why would I have to appear in court? I am pleading guilty and I want to pay the fine.”

“Your citation is under special circumstances.”

“How do you plead?” the Judge asked at the hearing.

“I plead guilty your honor.”

“It is your first offense. You have no previous record in this court. I am giving you a 25% reduction in your fine. Your fine is forty dollars plus thirty dollars in court fees.

It took a little over a minute but it was expensive! It was the first of a series of expenses that does not seem to end to today now that we are married for over a quarter of a century.

Who said love is free?!

072309 inaro anggan kapigan

2009-07-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

diyad panbukbukor kod sulsulinek
papaeren koray matanol kon el-elek
mareereenak anggapoy simesimek
ya mankugkugtot linawak ed pireg
amamayok imis mon makapakasibeg
ya abaybayag lan anggapoy kapeteg

apasikmatan koy makisir ya liwawa
inliing toray bektan napnapnuay liga
liwaway bulan unkakamayat ed uma
alabi toy kalinakay silong na mangga
aroy aliknak nen mansaip so pagew ta
agak makagalaw, ni anggan makasalita

peles na parok na pusok agmakakalma
itutulak toray limak ya puypuyoken toka
akakirem kan mareereen anggapo kad talba
labay kon akmuney linawam untan met sika
nen biglan intulak moak batika, manakis ka
agmoak labaya nanengneng ya sakey simba

natan agkuni niman naisukib ed lingwan
lallalo inaro no umbutay so maaron bulan
naliknak niray lemek na bibil mo tan laman
mauy-uyamon unsabi tarok toy ambegyam
ya mamespes na diloy magter kon liknaan
ya parad sikam bengat ya anggan kapigan

SIBEG TAN GAYAGA

2009-07-21T01:50:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

malikeliketak natan
abangunan koy imis
tan santing na lupam
ya maletey karuman
ikekerew ko agew-agew
ya unligliga tan ya pagew
piyan aping moy manbalanga
aliling toy ganay sampaga

no unsabi kirwit na ermen
agmo ratan im-imanuen
ta unarawin siyansiya
itarok na dagem ed playa
no unsabi kirwit na aro
akoen mo tan ideen mo
ta mairap no bulusan mo
ta tekmelay arum ya inggo

agka lawas ya mapaga
walay manga-aro ed sika
diyad mundon naiyanakan
balang sakey walay kapetekan
magana, ugaw o anto kaman
satana pusoy walay kaparukan
no amay oken et manayeng-eng
no nanengneng to kan mabeleng
too nin awalaay sibeg tan gayaga
makakaimis tan no akatakiling
na bektay pankanawnawa

****
masayaksak ya kabuasan ed sikayon
amin ya apagamuray sibeg tan gayaga
untan pa komon ta manando.

071709 iketket kod danganan

2009-07-17T23:13:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

say bilunget kaak-akdol toy ermen
apalpalabas iran bekta amamayuen
kusukusuak inaro sikay nonnonoten
taroktarok toray emel kon ayeng-eng
ya salsalukuyay manandun belbeleng
erepen koy silew, panyum anganguben

maruksa ka, nalam amina panangarok
malamang ka inkaindan moray il-ilalok
balet siopaak met ya palsaan taka inaro
ta malugolugon met so liknak ya inter ko
kanyan no maminsan say dilik abageyen
balet manutot so pusok ed ruksan iindaen

ipupulisay ko lay arum ya agko agamuran
mandenden balet siyak labat so kaskasian
labay koy uneyag; iketket kod danganan
anggad lirep isukib tod maganon lingwan
unya manaya mangaroy katuwaan, mairap
man-iilalod kikipasen abayag lan aluspak

070909 milulureyan ed danum

2009-07-09T20:02:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

alay samit na palayupoy na dagem
ikuyakuyab turay luputa akabenben
unkuykuyep iray matan mantalineng
naalawat na imis so lupa ran mabeleng
diyad takdang wadmanak ya mankunineng
ed daluyon iran manlalbog tan maniweng

amataan koy agin milulureyan ed danum
abasa lay amina kalasian to nen apayurong
unelekak komon balet siyak so apasikmatan
say linggis mi nansuldungan, nantalusan
aguyor iray salik, intarok toy maaron likna
maples ya bekta, wadmanak lan miistorya

akabat kon taga palpalandey ed amianen
akabasyon kunon mangilingway ermen
aliling to kunoy daluyon unsabi unarawi
mantatabugis, manung-ungol anggan labi
inkuanto ni “ ed wani naladladsak sak-en,
sik-a dawat ko nantettewa intednag sin tawen”

(natan malikeliketak sikay kerew kon timmuan
inpelag na tawen--kankanaey)

say arom salbay bilay ko

2009-07-09T01:30:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

masiblet ya lurem
say uran et gemgem
atikag laray paserser
amagaan laray lawer
say dalan et marabok
no nasinglot, makaukok

unleletak laray kapageyan
tangtangayen day tawen
kansag na sali, bibil mitimiti
unkekerew na panangasi
say kanonotay asukbungay paga
ta say anien et naiyutang la

nakgaan lay teek kon miaabagey
mansibsibekak tarok toy ey-ey
kato nimet so insabi abiso
ya say bayar kod koryente apaso
balet inaro agko ratan ikaskaso
no wadiya kan lanang ed abay ko

Short Stories of the Heart – Part 9 of 9

2009-06-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

Pio “Bering” Beringuella

Love Changes Everything

Love,
Love changes everything:
Hands and faces,
Earth and sky,
Love,
Love changes everything:
How you live and
How you die 1

Sofia and I finally had dinner after not seeing each other for months. However, it was a dinner I would rather forget. In that dinner I had said words that I should not have. It was one of those moments where a lady would storm out of plain anger. Luckily for me Sofia was such a lady. She stayed; all the time listening to what I was saying. All she could do was shed a tear.

I took her home after dinner. It was a quiet ride back to Sofia’s place. I can’t remember her uttering a word. And I said nothing either. After I dropped her off, I went straight home believing that I would not be seeing her again.

I called her the following day. I was ready for the worst. It must have been a shock to her to listen to all those harsh words. It was ungentlemanly of me. I should have been a lot nicer.

“I hope you feel much better?” were my first words on the phone.

“How will I know?” she said with sadness in her voice. She didn’t have the usual upbeat in her voice.

“If you would allow me, I would like to invite you for a quiet dinner tonight. I promise it will not be a repeat of last night. I’ll pick you up after work.”

“Whatever”, she said; then hang-up.

There was deep chagrin in her voice. After what happened the night before, who wouldn’t? She had all the reasons to hate me. I just didn’t know when to shut up. My anger was not an excuse. My emotions got the better of me that night. I had to do something to make up for my shortcomings. I went to Rustan’s Flower Shop for roses; a dozen long stem red roses.

I was all smiles when I walked through the gates of Malacanang Palace. It was still Martial Law. I had my ID card ready but still I have to go through metal detectors and answered a few questions. The Palace was on high alert.

“What are the flowers for, Sir?” the Lieutenant asked as he waved the metal detector around the roses.

“They are for my Sofia in Finance.”

“It looks like you are in trouble again. What did you do this time? I would not keep you here any longer as someone is waiting for you.” the Lieutenant said with a smile.

The Lieutenant still remembered me as I was a frequent visitor a few months back. Whenever I arrived early when I pick up Sofia, I engaged in small talks with the Presidential Guards.

“I will know in a few minutes.” I said and walked hurriedly towards Sofia’s office.

Everyone had a sigh of relief when they saw me walk in with the roses. Sofia however had the strained look on her face. It was telling of the anguish she experienced the night before.

She was wearing a yellow dress; her favorite color. She was so beautiful and elegantly dressed for dinner.

“Hi”, I said as I handed her the roses.

She did not say a word as she accepted the roses. I attempted to kiss her on the cheek but she turned the other way.

“Wow, how romantic!” Grace said breaking the deafening silence in the room. ”What happened last night? She was not smiling since she got in this morning.” She added as she pulled me aside.

“We went out for dinner. Don’t you remember?” I answered.

“That is not what I meant. Did you have another fight?”

Before I could answer, Sofia started for the door. I quickly followed her as I bid everyone good bye.

The roses were still on her desk where she first put them down. She still has not said a word. She had not looked at me either. I really dug myself a deep hole. How sudden did the tide change. She’s good. Suddenly, I was the one who had to do the explaining and apologizing.

Love is so unfair!

As we passed the gate, the Lieutenant looked and smiled at me again. I smiled back and said nothing as I walked right behind Sofia. I could barely keep up with her but I couldn’t ask her to slow down. She was in control!

She got into a waiting Jeepney. I sat next to her and said, “Let’s catch the Love Bus to Makati in Quiapo.” She didn’t answer.

The stare from the other passengers was embarrassing. I could only smile in return, which probably drove Sofia more upset with me. I was thankful she didn’t create a scene.

We went to Josephine’s Seafood Restaurant, her favorite restaurant in Makati for a quiet dinner. The dinner started quiet alright. I didn’t know how to say I was sorry. I had to sip on my margarita twice before I got the courage to lean towards her and whispered, “I am really sorry.” Finally, she looked at me and smiled.

And that was the end of that episode in our lives. We never talked about it again. I was no longer interested in wanting to know what happened between the two of us. It would be foolish for me to expect her to ask for forgiveness. If she did, it would be hallow. I would not have believed her.

We were ready to start all over. First, we have to become friends; not mere acquaintances. We were guarded in what we had told each other then. I was more hesitant in showing her who I really was. I had always been reserved. She may have acted the same.

I began to open up to her. My restrained attitude towards her began to thaw.

We were taken over by the situation. I no longer had control of my daily activities. Sofia became everything I do. I didn’t tell Sofia that in a few weeks, I would be flying to San Francisco. We will again be far from each other.

We hadn’t the time to waste. What we did the next few weeks were as memorable as when we first met.

We went places we haven’t been before. We got stranded in remote islands, where we brought nothing other than the clothes we had. Every place we visited was an adventure. We never planned our getaways. Everything was a spur of the moment. We didn’t care were we ended when night falls. We were just happy we were together.

We were in love.

Yes, Love,
Love changes everything,
Brings you glory,
Brings you shame.
Nothing in the
World will ever
be the same. 1

Yes, our world was never the same.

PBB/06-22-09

Footnotes

1 Excerpt from “Love Changes Everything” by Andrew Lloyd Webber

Short Stories of the Heart – Part 8 of 9

2009-06-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

Pio “Bering” Beringuella

The Dinner

“Everybody needs a little time away", I heard her say, "from each other."

“Even lovers need a holiday far away from each other."

Hold me now.

It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.

I just want you to stay.

After all that we've been through,

I will make it up to you. I promise to.

And after all that's been said and done,

You're just the part of me I can't let go.1

It was early 1982.

One of my brothers decided to take matters into his hands. He was scheduled to arrive in a few weeks with my one way ticket to San Francisco. He was not taking any chances. He wanted me out of Manila before I get myself into deeper trouble as everyone thought I was on my way to self-destruction.

I began to wind down for my move to San Francisco. One lazy Saturday afternoon, I decided to stay home and watch TV. I opened my first San Miguel beer. An hour later, I heard knocks at the gate. It was Hector with that suspicious grin.

“Great! Come in. Help yourself in the fridge. There are a few bottles left.” I said.

And then Zeny and Tet came in just behind him.

“We came with a special guest.” Zeny said with also a suspicious smile. Right behind her was Sofia. I said, “Hello. Come in. There is Coke in the fridge. Feel at home.”

And with those words, we did what we usually do when we get together. We shoot darts; played cards; teased each other; and occasionally talked. And laughed! Well, they talked and laughed. I was unusually quiet.

All eyes were towards me and Sofia. I knew what they were up to. However, I was already on my bounce back. Paraluman was such a pleasant company at the wedding. We remained friends despite those rumors of me courting her. We never went on another date after the wedding. It was always a group date. Occasionally Paraluman and the guys would surprise me at home. Our house became their hang out on weekends.

I am coming out of my melancholy mode. Gone were the days when I just don’t know what to do except pass the time by going to movies alone. I no longer took those solitary walks. Seldom did I go out for cocktails. I was beginning to distance myself from Manila.

I will soon be in San Francisco and from there start a new life once again. I heard it’s a romantic place. I am an old romantic I suppose. I was never out looking for love. I believed love will befall me at the most unexpected time. And what could be more romantic than in a city called San Francisco.

The following day, Hector dropped by our house again. He knew I was on my last days of vacation in Manila. I guessed he had nothing else to do either. I was wrong. The gang was on a mission to get Sofia and me to get to at least speaking terms.

“I noticed you were ignoring Sofia yesterday” he said.

“No. I did not. I even shoot darts with her” was my response.

“Yes but you were unusually quiet. After you said hello, I never heard you say another word to her.”

“I looked and smiled at her more than once. That’s not ignoring her. She was here with us. I know that.”

“Did you know that she was sorry for whatever she has done? You don’t expect a lady to kneel and beg for your forgiveness.”

“I am not asking her to ask for forgiveness. Who am I to ask for such? She has done nothing wrong. She just decided not to see me again. As to why she didn’t want me to come to Manila, I am no longer interested. I am past her.”

“She regretted whatever has come between you two. When she loves someone, she gives it her all.”

And with the look of someone who has just been fooled and was not about to listen to any bull shit I said, “Yeah right!”

“She would not have agreed to come with us to visit you here in your house if she didn’t feel that way. In a way, she is telling you that she’s sorry but you refuse to listen. I’ve known you to be “black and white” since our days in Mapua. You are no longer dealing with an engineering problem. You are now dealing with affairs of the heart.”

“What was your visit here yesterday all about anyway? I thought I will have a quiet day for a change. And today is supposed to be another quiet day!”

“Come on. Stop pretending you don’t know. We know you wanted to see her.”

“How well do you know me?”

“All I know is you are lying to your teeth right now.”

“Decisions are final and can not be reversed” was my response.

It is one of my many character flaws, which I believed to today as just being decisive. It comes with being an engineer but my friends say I was just being stubborn.

“No! You really do not know me. I have made the decision. It’s over. I will not reverse a decision. If I do it will be a first.” I said with a raised voice.

“I needed a drink. Let’s go Shakey’s.” I added.

Along the way, Hector dominated the conversation. I was not in the mode to be arguing with anyone anymore. I needed a drink. And that was it!

At Shakey’s Greenbelt a band was playing. We ordered a pitcher of on tap and a large pizza. The conversation was still one sided and still the same subject. But instead of being annoyed for such repeated arguments being bombarded on my ears, I found it pleasant to hear again and again.

It was nuts!

In all my adult life, I have never reversed a decision. Certainly not with getting back with someone who professed not to want to see me again. I have never done that before.

I had no idea what traversed in our conversation on that night. I had one too many drinks that night. Purposely or not, I drowned sorrow with rounds of on tap. It was one of those conversations that I would rather not have. I was perplexed.

Yet destiny must have been on us to be back together again.

The following evening with still a nasty hangover from drinking too much on the night before, I called Sofia and asked her for a date. It would have been gentlemanly to personally visit her at home but I was scared to have a repeat of a previous visit. I didn’t want anyone in their house to know I was again calling on her. I wanted them to believe that I have disappeared; never to be seen again.

I picked up Sofia early from work the day after. The moment I showed up in the office and after the usual “hi”, everybody in the office said, “Goodbye. You two have a good time.” It was still two o’clock in the afternoon. The word must have gone out that I have a date with Sofia.

Unlike the usual dinner date in one of the plush hotels in the city, we ended up at Shakey’s Greenbelt. I had no plans in going for a pizza; not on a date after not seeing each other for a long time. It just happened.

We had margaritas over pizza. The band was playing loud. We could barely hear each other; let alone had a descent conversation. It may as well as the conversation became one sided. I was still mad. Why I went for this date was unclear to me to this day.

Why we went to Shakey’s Greenbelt with the loud band as it was is even more unclear to me. We could have gone to a quiet dinner for a quiet conversation as we have a lot to talk about. But no! We went to Shakey’s Greenbelt; the last place on earth to make up after a fight. In my mind, I must have wanted the band to play the loudest to drown out whatever I had to tell Sofia that night.

I wanted some closure and of all places, I had to do it in a public place like a noisy restaurant. I was out to humiliate her for reasons I never understood. I was mad. I was going to show her. It was the only way I know how to close a failed attempt to be her boyfriend. For once, I have to have the upper hand in breaking up with ladies! I was beyond reason.

I was once again insane!

I was in the middle of telling her how hurt I was for being misled into believing something and only to be cut off without any words of explanations, when I happen to glance her way. I saw tears rolling down her lovely cheeks. Her eyes were closed. I began to realize she must have regretted everything she told me in her last letter. Those tears brought me back to my senses. I began to regret what I have just done. It’s ungentlemanly to make a lady cry.

My anger disappeared. I felt a certain embarrassment. I looked around and luckily everyone was focused on the band. I kept quiet for what seemed like hours. We were both quiet for hours. Not a single word uttered. Her eyes were closed all night long.

At closing time I said, “I am sorry I have to put you in such a distress and not giving you the benefit of doubt by listening to you first. I hope you would still allow me to take you home.”

She didn’t answer. She started to sob.

I took her hand and lead her towards a dimly lit narrow walkway towards the taxi stand. We hold hands as we walk slowly and for the first time I felt a certain connection between the two of us; without her saying a word, I felt we understood each other.

PBB/06-16-09

Footnotes

1 Excerpt from “Hard To Say I’m Sorry” by the Chicago

Short Stories of the Heart

2009-06-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

Pio “Bering” Beringuella

Quesas Porque

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again. 1

It’s mid-summer in 1981 when I tendered my resignation. Everyone thought I was crazy walking away from what most considered a career goal. I had all the perks of a company executive. I was an executive without the title. I ran the production side of the company. In addition to my own projects, I supervised all the engineers and designers in the office. Every project had to go through my desk for assignment and final check before we sent them out of the office.

I also had unlimited access to the two partners of the firm. Everyone already considered me as one of the partners.

An ongoing joke among us three was when we go after projects with different architectural project teams. We always place a bet on who will win; just an excuse to get a free lunch as we always charge lunch ticket to the company business development fund. We had power lunches every Friday and who ever lost stayed behind to pick up the tab and do the paperwork back in the office until the next loser.

I was then working on my professional engineering license. I was not in a hurry as I know I will be made a partner the moment I get my Professional Engineer registration. And when I become a partner, I will be partly responsible for the financial well being of the company. I was too young for that responsibility. I was not even personally responsible yet!

I was just a kid!

I was in a plum position. I can do whatever I wanted.

And I did!

I gave three months notice to leave the company. And that was it! I was not happy anymore. I no longer have the joy of engineering. It became just another job.

Three months came and it’s time to fly back to Manila.

I felt uncertain when I arrived in a hot and humid Manila afternoon. I stood sad and lost next to the baggage carousel. I was asking myself, “What am I doing here? This trip made no sense at all.” All I wanted was to take the next flight out and go straight to San Francisco.

I managed to flag a taxi for the short ride home. I failed to notice the flurry of activities in a bustling metropolis; a stark contrast to the leisurely island life I had in Guam. My mind wondered somewhere else as I sat quietly in the backseat. I would have preferred arriving and seeing Sofia at the airport. I thought of visiting Sofia that night; maybe I will be able to talk to her. Or see her one last time and say our good byes.

I knew it was unlikely that she will ever want to see me again. I knew her to act like a kid too! She said goodbye. And that was it too!

I was hoping she would agree to see me one last time.

When I got home, I decided not to visit her after all. She knew I was in Manila. If she wanted to see me, she had ways of letting me know. We have mutual friends, who wanted us to get back together; at the very least to be civil to each other and remain friends.

There were those pushing us to reconciliation. I had my doubts. I was resigned to not seeing her again.

More than a month passed and I have not seen let alone talked to her. Not even a message. We had mutual friends but I was not about the one to be the first to be asking how she was doing. One evening, when I had nothing better to do than grab a beer and watch TV, I went to their house to surprise her. The surprise was on me. She must have known I was going to visit her that evening that she decided to come home late or not at all. I never wanted to know.

While I was at their house, she called home. I could hear her Mom talking to her and begging her to come home. Then her sister talked to her. As soon as her sister hung up, she said that Sofia was on her way home. An hour passed and still she’s not gotten home. Two hours. Three hours. The wait was embarrassingly long to everyone.

We had dinner without her. When dinner was over, I bid farewell but her Mom was really embarrassed by what had just happened. I stayed a bit longer just to make everyone at ease or embarrass them longer. At around midnight, Sofia called again. I know then she was not coming home until I have left their house.

It really was the end of the road. It was time to move on. Finally I could tell myself without any doubt, “I give it my all and I failed.”

Affairs of the heart really conflict with the mechanical mind set of engineers. For every endeavor in our own little world is a set of formulas to be followed to the letter! The pursuit of Sofia was yet another endeavor much like what we did in college. We went to nearby colleges and universities to meet ladies. Those outings were positive distractions to our research on failed laboratory experiments. Disappointments were expected in what we did in college. Seldom did we get the results we wanted. But in experiments on the affairs of the heart, we failed miserably.

I remember us going to Wildlife Park, where we met a few nursing students from UST. We exchange phone numbers and addresses. We promised to visit them at their dorm. And as naïve as we were, we went to their dorm somewhere in Sampaloc. There’s no one of those names who lived in that dorm.

This was just one of the many misadventures we had in college. I can not remember any that ended as a success. But we were always happy.

As with our misadventures in college, I have failed yet again.

I was not sad anymore. I have done my crying when the wound was still fresh. The last three months were agonizingly painful. But time heals everything for my loneliness was beginning to be of a distant memory. I decided to spend Christmas and New Year in Manila because it will be years before I will be back in Manila again.

I can not remember how Christmas was in that year - 1981. Christmas and New Year that year became just another day.

I occupied myself hanging out with former classmates who worked at PLDT. Shakey’s Greenbelt was across from their office. I remember the Greenbelt of the bygone days of Makati. It had wide open landscape; had an aviary; and even had a chapel. It’s a peaceful place to walk. After watching a movie at the Quad, alone of course, there was not much to do but walk alone; in solitude.

At five in the afternoon, night life begins. I spent a few nights drinking rounds of on tap over pizza and live music at Shakey’s Greenbelt. It’s almost an every night occurrence until I figure out how to live my life once again.

I may have spent so many days at PLDT as quite a few thought I work at PLDT. I even played cards with the guys and gals at lunch time. There were a few lady engineers in that department. Paraluman and Citas were like any one of the guys. They were always with us whenever we go for a pizza and beer.

Citas is the petite of the two. Paraluman has that innocent look of barrio lass. They must been around bossy male engineers all their life. They could shoot breeze with the guys. They were in charge of all social events in the office including out of town weekends.

I was with the group when they went to Punta Baluarte for a weekend day trip. I have never worked in the Philippines so this was the first that I would experience company picnics in the Philippines. As I boarded the bus, I saw several bags of sandwiches. I was telling myself, “I can’t be waking up this early just to have a sandwich for lunch.” I was not used to sandwiches on picnics. In Guam, we had BBQ ribs, steaks, and lots of Olympia and Schlitz.

Punta Baluarte offered a panoramic view of the Bay of Balayan and the surrounding mountains. The air was crisp; the water inviting but I was more interested in what was in store for us in the grand function room. I have not seen that much seafood on a long table before. San Miguel beer was flowing freely too. We drank the moment we arrived until the time we got back on the bus. It was like college days again.

And the sandwiches one may ask? Those were for the snack on the ride home.

My Manila trip was no longer a vacation. I began to live a good life; perhaps too good for my brothers in San Francisco to start worrying. I was getting calls from them almost every week only to be asked when I will depart for San Francisco. I always gave them my usual answer, “When I book my flight, I will let you know.”

It’s February 1982.

I got a call from my mother in Guam. She’s also concerned. It’s time I book my flight and get out of Manila.

But once again, life took an unexpected turn. I had a surprise date with Paraluman when we found out that we were attending the same wedding in Bulacan. I was invited by the groom, a classmate in college; and she by the bride, her classmate in college.

It was a surprise alright.

The newlyweds came to our table and asked, “When will you two get married? Don’t forget to invite us.”

And we look at each other like couples in love.

Footnotes

1 Excerpt from “How can you mend a broken heart?” by the Bee Gees

pabawien moak, promisam

2009-06-08T02:26:00.000-07:00

MANONTON DALAN

inaro akin lamet masyadoy saboy dalam
agak ni angalmusal, agkoni antay nilam
anto may kuanmo " akagngel kay tsismis"
wala siguroy katuwaan to ta agka akaimis
nepeg komon utuben moray kabkabat mo
aliwan siak so pangipapasan moy sabo

siopani so pangikuanan mo ray guligon
no aliwan siyak ya alenleneg mon inarom
balet diya komod kalmantin pitutungtung
piyan say baog ko ag-unkusen o unkurong
natalusan takan lawas balet no maminsan
anggapoy dayew,singaak anggapoy kakanaan

no ebatan taka, umbarong kan naemel-emel
batik kan tampol ed kuartom agka-undengel
balet labalabay mon amu-amuen ya singa oken
makakalekak ya unong, kapigan ka untakken
kasumpalan to inaro siyak so nankasalanan
andi bali lad tan pabawien moak promisam

Sam Antonio, Jr.

2009-06-07T10:47:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Sam Antonio, son of Sammy D. Antonio and the late Cristita Somera of Asingan/McAllen, Texas as he receives the highest honor as Valedictorian of McAllen High School, class of 2009. He is also a recipient of the following scholarship grants: Minnie Stevens Piper Foundation, Rotary Club of McAllen, McAllen Chamber of Commerce, James A. Bush Scholarship, Federal Pell Grant, University Tuition Grant-Undergraduate, Texas Grant-Initial, Federal Academic Competitiveness Grant and State Top Ten Percent Scholarship. Sam will be attending University of Texas - business school at Austin this fall. Here's his Valedictory Address:

It's over. And to be honest, I've been petrified of this moment. Not because high school was about to end. Not because of all the new responsibilities I would now have. I just didn't want to make this speech. However, I realized a graduation speech isn't a curse associated with being valedictorian. Rather, it's an opportunity for me to express myself. For most of you, this is the first time you've heard me speak. And for those of you who had me for class, this is probably the first time you've heard me speak.

As you're sitting there, I know exactly what you're thinking. Some of you are asking yourselves “When will this be over?” Some of you are thinking how uncomfortable, unflattering, and oversized these cap and gowns are. Some of you are just hoping my speech ends soon. Unfortunately, it's not that time yet.

Fellow graduates: today, I am issuing you a challenge. For those of you who continue onto higher education, let this afternoon not be the only graduation you are a part of. I challenge you to keep yourselves motivated because believe it or not, some people are already counting you out. Ms. Ardis, my American Sign Language teacher, shared with our class a very important, and quite frankly, scary, piece of trivia. According to statewide statistics, only 14% of Rio Grande Valley high school graduates go on to graduate from college. Although, being around this group of people for so long, I am convinced we can destroy that statistic. Your teachers, this administration, and these people who sit all around you, believe in you. Graduates, I believe that deserves an applause?

As for the parents: wherever my fellow classmates and I are headed to, I challenge you to keep us motivated. The past four years, we may have told you we didn't need your help. Maybe we told you to give us space during that tough English project or after coming home from a hard practice. The truth is, none of us would be decorated and present today without your compelling push. And I think I speak for everyone by saying, we wouldn't mind that occasional “financial” help now and then.

And finally, for the teachers and administrators: I challenge you to make the next graduating class just as good as we are. However, everyone here knows it's impossible. There's a special multitude of talent with the class of 2009. If you were to personally speak to any one graduating today, you will have spoken with incredible athletes, academic experts, and multi-talented artists. You will have spoken to all-state musicians, aspiring authors, and possibly even a future president – anything you could imagine.

I would like to conclude my speech with a quote. “There's a big world out there – bigger than high school prom, bigger than high school itself. And it doesn't matter if you were the most popular girl, the quarterback, or the guy who got straight A's. Find out who you are in this world, and don't shy away from it.”

(Visit our new link: Our Youths featuring our children who will be shaping our future...)

abay mon misakbatan

2009-06-05T02:43:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

aring nagngel koy boses mon apagas
mankalkalinatey alig na kalasakas
aliknak so belbeleng mon manandu
ya say luluwak et guyguyuren to
kawalan to laramay talabit na bibil
ya agag makaisa no sikay migagantil

wadiyaak ed abay mon undedengel lawas
antoman ya iyi-indam tan tepel ed oras
say biskeg na nonot agmo ikakaindan
peket kad ilalo, iyi-inday lingwanan
antak walay kairapan balet an-anusan
wadiyaak lawas ed abay mon misakbatan

nanonotan ko ramay ula-ulam tan tagtagleey
napnoy liket, ermen, pansibeg tan lurlurey
imis moy alay samit singa ka rosas akabuskag
aakbibiten toy panangaro, ipapanta tod sinag
natan makuyep lay silew balet wala ni kidyam
sibuken piyan undukey tan naaninag koy lupam

My Best Friend

2009-06-03T16:49:00.000-07:00

By AG

It was my first day in college and my brother helped me go through all the hustles of enrollment. At that time, I was not ready for college work, I did not work hard to get adequate training in high school, so my brother came very handy. He was three years older and was currently an upper classman in college, his experience helped me through the difficult process of selecting the course to specialize. My first day in college was also the start of my lifelong friendship with my brother and we became best friends ever since.

I have a lot of stories about my brother, but the first thing I remember was his giving me a bath when I was not yet capable doing it myself. As I grew a lot older, I became a nuisance for following him wherever he went. Our three year age gap was very significant when we were young, he was advanced mentally and physically, but I tried my best to catch up with his abilities. The pre-adolescent years in the life of a boy is always full of fun and mischief so when my brother was at that age, having me tagged along was not cool and was a hindrance especially when he went on mischievous adventures with his friends. But sneaky as I was, I always found my way to wherever my brother and his friends went for adventure and he had to worry about me when we have to get away because of our mischief.

My brother wanted me to join my younger friends but I always found fun with older kids than with my age group. There were times when my brother would escape from me, especially when he and his friends would go to Dagupan to watch movies. One Saturday morning, I noticed that my brother was preparing to go to the movies when I heard him asked permission from my mother. He insconspicuously left our house but I followed him from a distance after I told my mother I was going to the movies with my brother. My brother, being aware that I was following him, tried to confuse me by stopping at different places until he thought that he lost me. He eventually ended up at the town center where he caught the jeepney bound for Dagupan. I took the next trip and followed him to the Dagupan Theater Cinema to watch the movie “ Batman and Robin”, the movie that my brother told my mother. As I was groping my way in the dark theater looking for a seat, my brother saw me and he was left with no alternative but to enjoy my company. After the movie, we ended up eating noodles in the nearby Chinese panciteria.

During his high school years, I could no longer tag along and I was out of his life because his lifestyle and demeanor changed when he started liking girls. He had become a good dresser, always neat with nice clothes and he would never go out of the house without grooming himself in front of a big mirror. I remember him using an aftershave lotion and then pinching his cheeks to have a pink blush, applying a little bit of Johnson baby powder to remove the shine on his face, and then finishing his grooming in front of the big mirror to practice his flashing, contoured smile. With his shoes always polished, his pants and shirt always neatly pressed, he would hang around the town plaza with his two best friends to watch for the girls who were the focus of his infatuations. He had a good voice and had a musical talent so he was sometimes given a solo to perform songs during the school musical drama. During his junior year, he was very much infatuated with a girl classmate, but all he could do was write love letters or passed by her house to catch a glimpse of her.

I was in High School when he left for college at age fifteen at the U.P. Diliman, and I was very proud of him for attending that school. During school breaks, he would be active hanging out with the other college students, having parties and dances which I would watch with envy and wishing that I would be old enough to join. After my high school graduation, I intended to study at the local colleges but my father persuaded me to join my brother in the same school. Because we were both in college, the age gap between me and my brother vanished completely and we became the best of friends. At first we became roommates in a boarding house and eventually we stayed in my aunt’s house for the rest of our college years. He graduated with a DVM degree and had a job as a provincial veterinarian for several years before he left for America. I also graduated from college and had worked for three years in a pharmaceutical company before I immigrated to America.

I was lucky to have him ahead of me here in America and I stayed with him until I landed a job. I always visited him during holidays and we were always in communication, without missing any bit of the happenings in our lives. Every year, we spent time together like best friends do, and we never run out of topics to talk about, our parents, our common friends, and our children. He never missed the important events in my son‘s life, like his baptism, his high school and college graduations. All of our times in America, there was never a week that we missed to call each other, to check or just to hear our voices.

Recently, my brother got sick, very sick and I feel that he is still too young to get that sick. These times, we talk everyday, as if we were trying to cover all the things that we have yet touched. I visit him more often, spending more time and enjoying each other in a very simple way, just the mere presence provides us with the elixir of life. I’ll be missing my best friend, I am already missing him in my mind and I hope I would still have my best friend for sometime, for quite sometime. As we grow older, youth is the new song, but old songs carry the memories of the good, old times which are engraved in our mind. I am contented that the memories I have about my brother linger in my brain, and these memories would forever be stored in the safest corner of my mind. I love my best friend and I would not say goodbye, because I know that someday, I hope to see him somewhere in the Milky way.

diyad lupak gimmulis

2009-06-03T00:19:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan
( aliingan koy mapalpalnan
palbangon nen bimmusel yan
kanonotan ... ay agi!)

akinet walay beleng mon aliing
dati masayaksak kan alay santing
wala ray bakabakat na luar matam
walay ermen so malinggas ya lupam
komon inaro aliwan siak so rason
ta naliliknak niramay panangarom

maya ka iyalan takay ampetanga kape
pandesal walay palaman ton manami
igetelan takay rosas er hardin ko
amay mabusbuskag, masanting, masamyo
marakep ya pamunas na guligoy nonot
palesaen toy imis, liketa agnapaksot

asabian takan amawil er ugip, mareereen
indepel koy bibil ko, sikay manngehem
binitlam so ngaran ya walad arawin dalin
singa yuron diyad pagew ko naipaneka amin
simmrubak er ules, inlakap koy pannangis
aliknak so luluak, diyad lupak ungugulis

Short Stories of the Heart

2009-06-01T07:16:00.000-07:00

by Pio “Bering” Beringuella

It hurts!

If you leave me now, you’ll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please don’t go
If you leave me now, you’ll take away the very heart of me
No baby please don’t go

A love like ours is love that’s hard to find
How could we let it slip away
We’ve come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way
When tomorrow comes well both regret
Things we said today 1

I arrived back in Guam with mixed emotions. I was happy to be back yet unhappy to be away from Sofia. I was happy when I was with Sofia yet felt uneasy. My heart was telling me to be with her yet my mind said no.

Is love this conflicted?

My state of innocence was fading fast. There was an intense desire to do nothing. I went jogging along the beach more often. And as always I ended up sipping cocktails at the Tree Bar. My days ended with thoughts of her always.

A jazz trio played regularly at the Tree Bar. Their music lend to a melancholy surroundings. I learned to appreciate jazz by listening to them; day in, day out.

Jazz must be love too. Or is it?

I could no longer focus on work as before. Work came to a very slow pace. What took only hours to do then were taking days to complete. Work was literally piling up on my desk. One early morning, Vic my Boss and Mentor called me in his office.

“You look so unhappy lately.” Vic said.

“Your cubicle looks like a chimney. I think you need something to be happy. I am giving you a pay raise retroactive to the first of the year. Also, beginning today, you will have your gas allowance.” Vic added.

“Thank you.”

“Has something happened in Manila while you were on vacation?”

“No.”

“Did you get married?”

“No.”

“Did you break up with your girlfriend while in Manila?”

“No.”

“Come on, I have known you long enough to notice the sudden change in you. You never want to play tennis anymore. You don’t want to go fishing anymore. Ding told me you never go to their place for Mah Jong anymore either. It’s good you still go bowling. Are you maintaining your average?”

“Yes”

“Is there another word that you know besides yes and no?”

“None”

“As you know, Ding and I recently took over the company. We have big plans and we want you to play a major role in our new company. Now, what are your plans?”

“I am quitting; my last day is end of November.”

“Are you kidding? Where are you going? You just came back from vacation.”

“I am going back to Manila.”

And with those words, Vic rose from his seat ever so slowly, walks to the door, and closed it shut!

“Let’s talk.”

“Talk about what?”

“Are you getting married? Or are you already married?”

“No and no.”

Vic and I came from the same school. Our career paths are in parallel. He graduated six years ahead of me. He knows what college life is at MIT and what life is when we get out of MIT. I did not have to tell him anything. He knew what was in my mind.

“I will double the raise I just gave you; also retroactive to the first of the year. I am also giving you a car. You can choose your car as long as not the most expensive in the lot.”

I know he was trying to cheer me up but I didn’t laugh.

He even offered to pay for my air fare to Manila and if I needed extra money, he will also give it to me as a bonus.

There was one condition. I have to be back in the company. I can take as long as three months in Manila. He was even willing to pay my salary while on vacation. All he needed is for me to tell him I will be back.

“I don’t think I can do that. I don’t know what I want to do. It is unfair to you and to the company for me to take all these incentives, which will imply that I am coming back. I don’t know if I will ever be back here in Guam. I don’t want to give you false hope.”

We started talking at eight in the morning. Time flew and it was almost noon.

“Whatever you decide when you are in Manila, remember that there is a big difference between single never been married and single divorced.”

I never asked what it meant but those words stuck with me.

When I got out of his office, everyone was quiet. Everybody was pretending to be busy.

I planned to keep my return to Manila to myself. But when I was writing a letter to Sofia that night, I can’t resist not telling her that I quit that morning and will be in Manila in late November. We would have time to get to know each other.

I had big plans though I did not tell anyone; not even Sofia. I wanted to surprise her. I knew Sofia didn’t like Guam so I quit my job and planned to move to San Francisco. And if she loves me in return, I would marry her and take her with me. We will have our honeymoon in Hawaii on our way to San Francisco.

But life turns in unexpected ways. I received her letter a week later begging me not to go back to Manila. It was short and to the point; straight to my heart.

It hurts.

Sofia did not answer my repeated calls. She’s not at home. She’s not in the office either.

Finally, the message sunk in. It was the end of the line. It was an exciting journey but as with all good things, it had to end.

What followed was three months of the most uncertain times of my life.

I knew I have not professed my love but still I was devastated. I was being rejected beforehand.

Once again I am broken hearted; another failed attempt at a long distance relationship. There was nothing left to do but cry.

And cry I did for days. I spent evenings in solitude on the beach. I didn’t want anyone to see tears flowing from my eyes. The sunsets were always enchanting but not warm enough to mend a broken heart. The sounds of the waves against the sandy beach could not cheer up a lonely heart. The still of the night dominates my thoughts.

I thought of rescinding my resignation. I knew Vic will be happy. But will I be happy?

I also thought of moving straight to San Francisco. But the thought of not knowing what happened was just too much to bear.

I had to know. I can not go through another break up without knowing what has happened along the way. My inquisitive mind was taking control. I had to solve the mystery. I had to take the trip back to Manila, if of no reason at all, to regain my insanity.

…. because insanity is all I had. I want it back!

Footnotes

1 Excerpt from “If You Leave Me Now” by Chicago

dere kad diya

2009-05-29T02:12:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan
(manim-imisak ya susulaten
ya ed kabubutay na agew)

apaksiat so ugip kon malet
kasil na boses mon immawet
agmo la ninonot ya apuyatak
ed sakripisiok ya mana-anap
akin et untay ugalim inaro
laman mon dili so pinonot mo

wala may immalis kan ap-apurado
agkan balot angitilak na niluto
kaskasianak ya tinepel so eras ko
maong lalaingen wala may biskutso
tan amay nababangles ya aroskaldo
nilaokan koy katerter ya tauyo

natan anto, akinet mitimiti ka
balibali tay bibil mon mamalbalanga
no unimis ka napunas so pasnoko
singa labay kon lakesen takay todo
manalingernger ni pabalingit mo
dere ka pad diya ta walay bawien ko

manag-agos iray luluwa

2009-05-17T05:23:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

(diyad mapalnan kabuasan binmusel
iray balikas ya kalaktip toray
kansiyon ya binalegan)

ateneb so matak ed tabol na ermen
mabelengak singaak namemeneng
ipapawil koy maligan bektan apalabas
balet dalan koy ambilunget agnatundas
anggad nagngel koy kansiyon tan dua
diyad kanonotan dakedakela limmesa

nanonotan mo may wala tad angalakan
babantayan takan manpepesak er petang
inbayesan takay linglingaling ya siruman
inibaan takan manpesak, kemelkemelen
koy limam, perengperengan koy matam
makasiyudot ka, anggapo laingey agawam

ag abayag sikay nakgaan lapur kakaestoriam
limmaak ed garitan analiw na peksi tan gam
ninengneng moak ya walay uyamon pansibeg
singa nalmay so liknaan kon katekep toy pueg
immasinggerak inanguban taka agka akasalita
naimanok so matam manag-agos iray luluwa

(misasalamatak agagik ira ed anos yon
manbabasa na ula-ula toyan alenleneg
yon kabaleyan-md. say Diyos manuna lawas
manruan kayo. say imis tambal na sakit na
lawis kanyan imis kayo)

unsaip ed ngarem

2009-05-13T21:45:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

(babasaen koy batik na lurem
ya mamatanir ed maliwawan banua
nen simmibang 'yan anlong)

mansibsibek kalamor so pagew ko
ya undedengel er ula-ulam inaro
anggan arawin panisiyaan kotan
ya tungtung, pusok akilinewan
ya binaliwalam iray panangarok
bangmas iray dakela sakripisiok

nagngel ko met iray babbabawim
ya singa kakisir na duaran salim
agko la labay so mipawilan er sika
ta no akatakiling kay pangkanawnawa
singa ka ason atiwel mankatkatay
siyak balet kaskasian ya manay-ay

ditan kala inaron maruksan unong
anap mo lay panangaron mas mamaong
asumpalan ko lay tepel tan ermen
panangasim lad siyak agmo padukeyen
so panterter na luwak tan sinagem
ta say bilay ko et unsaip lad ngarem

050809A maligan agew na ina

2009-05-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

(nadaydayew tan maganganan kainaan
ed sankamunduan, ipasabik er sikayoy
petang tan gayagay aro ed sayan bekta, untan
pa komon aparaburan kayoy anak ya lawas yon
ikikinon tan ar-aruen. md)

no pawilpawilen koray agew ya apalabas
nanonotan ko’y maaron inang ko lawas
mitatalikerkeran piyan walay isaliw mi belas
anggano siak so manteyengteyeng; mangiras
agko napukpukan so makaimis ya makalek
lapur ta natan sikato met so bilaya nalak

wala may pantungtungan mi “antoy gawaen”
piyan makalmo’y baleg ta dakel so pakanen
nonot kon malangwer nayari met manaya
isagur ed irap; panmuliay amina ganagana
balet natan bukbukur kola, walay kairapan
unsibangsibang balet ira’y salsalin adalanan

no dimmengelak, bilay siguroy maagwanta
agko labay so singa tirtirintesen ya popita
balet atawir koy panangaro, kinon tan silib
ya anggan iner so laen ko say bilay so maabig
natan agew daray iina, misalsalamatak ya maong
manlapud otel na puso toyan maletey yon inong

Mother’s Day

2009-05-03T23:12:00.000-07:00

By AG

My last happy memory about my mother was the reunion that my siblings and I had with our parents when my mother was eighty years old. Despite the fact that she had Alzheimer’s at that time and she could no longer discern what was going on around her, she still could remember the names of her children and where they live. She said and had always said that she loves her children and her children love her too. Mother’s love must indeed be true, a love that would never fade.

I did remember my mother as that of a very busy woman. When I was 4 years old, I remember her as a storeowner of groceries and other everyday supplies. She lost her store, partly due to her unselfish nature of trusting anybody who asked for credit. She decided to be a full time mother, making the care of her children as her top priority. She was a very religious woman, so the church was her second home. Early in the morning of each day, after preparing the breakfast for the family, she would go to the church to attend the mass, pray her novenas to the different saints and then would socialize with her church friends, who like her were members of several church organizations. She would come home after picking up from the market the food that the family needed for the day. Her routine was very predictable that the children knew where she was at any certain hour of the day.

On some Saturday afternoons, she would attend the novena prayers at different houses assigned for the week and I would tag along with her. We would be praying all the prayers for the saints or whoever the novenas were intended for. I was not sure why I loved to go with her, but one thing I remember that motivated me to go were the sumptuous merienda of native cakes and food that came along after the long prayers. It was not surprising that many a time during my early childhood, I would win a lot of contests when it came to reciting the different prayers because of my exposure. During the month of May, she would teach Catechism classes which I would partake.

I was a ten years old when I overheard a teacher, who was our neighbor, telling my classroom teacher that I was spoiled by my mother, which I did not understand. I knew that my mother, like a lot of mothers, spoiled her children by way of giving them everything she had. She never laid a hand on me, never scolded or got disappointed, and she always wanted her little children to be within her sight. Through all the years, she was always proud of her children and we got special treatment whenever we came home from college and during breaks in our professional years. I always enjoyed going home whenever time permitted and I always anticipated her buying native fruits and ethnic food for my eating entertainment. My relationship with my mother was very simple, she treated me as if I were a grade school kid, and she always acted as a mother would, even if her son was already a father.

I left the Philippines when my mother was in her fifties and I did not see her undergo the process of growing old. How I wish I were around to enjoy her during those times, because when I was able to have time to visit with her, I realized that she was already an old lady. She visited me twice here in America where I gave the best treatment that I could afford, but I felt that it was not enough to make up for the missing years. I think I paid a heavy price in order to pursue my dream in life.

During Mother’s Day, my thoughts go back to my childhood, and the love that was showered to me by my mother. Now, I would smile whenever I remember the whining and manipulations that I did in order to sway my mother to agree with me. When I was in fifth grade, I was made aware of what a mother’s love when our music teacher taught us the following song titled, Mother’s Love . “ Mother, you are dear, And I truly love you, for your constant care, and your kindliness, too. Whether near or far, I am thinking of you, for I know that your son must be brave and true…When this life seems hard, and my troubles are great, when my heart is sad as for help I wait, When my friends all have fled caring not for my grief, and hope is gone , then I think of you.” This song struck the soft corner of my heart and forever changed the way I looked at my mother, realizing that mothers are truly special human beings.

05059A agmoak ipupulisay

2009-05-01T16:59:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

akinet main-inaumay er sika
ya paakisen moak tan untan
met no labay mon paeleken
antam, inaro abayag ya tepel
kon aakbibiten, inangnangis
er palnay dagem, idadalem
kod bilunget na saray lurem
balet agmoak im-imanuen

anggan linggis moak labat
ta imanum so linggas kon
pinanpuyatan kon sanlabi
agay lay ruksam, mangasi
labay mo sirin ya nabalang
ko’y nonot ko lapur sika
ibanbandok so nanlapuan ta
agka masiblet dengel ka

ipulisay moy paga tan pasnok
ta say kerew ko et daiset, sinok
agmo komon geteley anges ko
ta sikay lirion an-anapen to
no bilang insukib moak lad
lingwan, ay! iyalageyan mo,
ibagam aliwan siyak so lilikiran
ta say liknaan koy nasasakitan

042509A nabibilang, unkukulang

2009-04-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan
(kansiyon ya igawan
yoy tuno-pop music so bilang
na balikas)

uran uran manterter ed ulo
nabasaak balet aliwan tanto
uran uran manterter ed ulo
nabasaak balet aliwan tanto

no mankirmat mankarol agko
no mankirmat mankarol agko
antakot ta wala kad abay ko
linglinggisen mo tan lakap mo

no undelap itarok to balet agko
no undelap itarok to balet agko
umpaga ta wala kad abay ko
manim-imis tan napnuay aro

nabibilang, nabibilang,
so agew tayor mundo
nabibilang, nabibilang
so maong ya totoo

unkukulang, unkukulang
saray maaron imano
unkukulang, unkukulang
panangan ya ipadungo

nabibilang, unkukulang, nabibilang
unkukulang, nabibilang, unkukulang
balet say panangarok manando
ta diyad pusok so ayuyang mo
balet say panangarok manando
ta diyad pusok so ayuyang mo
(pawil kayod tagey)

(balibali ya kansiyonen yon walay
hilig ton man "street dancing"-
youtube-egyptian songs-habibi dah)

041609A samyoy pansibeg

2009-04-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

aliknak so petang na takeb mo
simmaip er maaron dakulap ko
samyoy buek moy ambalbalingit
ya inkalesa na liknaan kon mapilit
ya iyapit koy pagew kon unsisibeg
piyan naliknay uyamoy daragedeg

nagngel koray apepet moran balikas
kalakes toy masimsimpit iran kalasakas
na abel lapur galagalaw tan dapdapigas
ya mamepespes na likeliket tan gayaga
ipapasirayew na aping ya mamalbalanga
tan duaran mankulkulirep moran mata

bukbukuran tay apatiran suyok na mundo
pati linak na tawen ya bebegsayey lurem
ya igagayuguy toy mapalpalna ran dagem
taroktarok toy samsamyon angiter na reen
no kugip ya, agko labay so naliing inaro
anggan makasengeg na isaew kod trabaho

041209A singaak asinit

2009-04-12T04:52:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

akinet agko nalikiran iray linggis mo
singa misteryoson petang ya amamayo
ya no agmoak im-immanuen et an-anapen ko
saray imis moy masarag lan panbilay ko
say pilpilalek ko balet dere kadiay daiset
tano ikirem ko et lakap moak na malmalet

niman akaplas moy limak singaak asinit
maruksa kan lawas agmo anggan pinirit
no inanguban moak er saman et milaak
er daluyon ya mantatabugis ya nasaspak
no tampalen toy takdang insan unkamayat
manburaburan laklakapen toy aroy linak

diyar maaron labi akugip takan manbukbukor
aakbibiten kay guligon awawey moy agnakaor
mitimiti-ak ya inasinggeran taka, agak makasalita
insalar koy aping kod pagew mo dengdengelen ko
paroparok tan sibesibek ya makapalemek na puso
aliknak maam-amon puyok susuyureyen toy beneg ko

immuyamo ed maamon puyok

2009-04-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

bibiyeren koy pusok ta mankulagtit
ta akabetak na masanting ya marikit
tinawag koy imano to ay agi manpungit
balet nen say kuanko "agay lay ganam"
kimmmuyep so mata to katekep toy sigam
tan say kabbang toy masimsimpit matantan

akisalukoyak met lan nanpasiyar ed sentro
marakep so tungtung mi agi, kaparami loro
apasikmatan koy tikoy, halohalo tan puto
intagar kon mamainawa tan tawayan irayan lako
manpakipot ni, intabin konin maninda-inda
kasumpalan to et labalabay to met manaya

balibali so iimisan ton wala ni karot
no linglingesen koy mata ton mankulayot
asabit ed bibil toy kinaroy ya niyog
uhmmm! inegnaan ko tan aping toy amamayok
mankelawak agton balot akabesngaw o amasnok
asapigar koy bibil to, immuyamo er maamon puyok

A Blessed Easter To All!

2009-04-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

PAKULAT

2009-04-07T02:35:00.000-07:00

by Kankanti

Oga-ogaw nin tuloy, agto balet apukpukan
So sabo na dala tan say kagantilan
Baleg ya sakit tan irap kasumpal na siyam bulan
Inatey lawarid inpananak, say tetel ag nasabaan.

Namemeneng, agto amta no anto so alooban
Irap tan problemad bilay, sikato 'yay katuaan,
Abaluan to "bangungot" labat ya naandid kaimbuasan
Manliplimatan mankukugip, pakalikna toy lanang.

Angkekelag ya gamet diad tamoro akapeket
Sangi-sangin singa sibong manaanap na underet;
Dilat-dilat kalamor, manpirawat ya makapangan
Soso'y inan katorse anyos, pakulat ni, anggapo'y iyan!

SARAH ROSAS NA PATALAN IV

2009-03-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

IMBENEG:

unsibang er nonot tayo so salitan "komon" no naiirapan tayon belsayey gunigoy bilay. say arum ipaunong dad dasal, saray apagamuray talunggaring ipaunong dar gawa ta say gawa nanengneng moy kasumpalan. atan so nonot nen sarah, no labay toy mansira unnan manpana agto ititirakyang diyad dulang ya manalagar na sabit o ilaluan toray arum ya mangisempet.

inpanengneng nen sarah so kilas ton manpanay sira untan met ed say iyayaamot ton linggas ya no naitdan kayoy pankanawnawan nalinggis, ... umpan naterak so andeket na ugaw-ugaw na mata yo. saray bibii so agaylay ibeg dad sikato ta makulikuli, maganganna la tan maomaong nid eskuela. “ agigigi... walar sikato lan amin”.

intilak tayoy saran walay gegemgeman ton masilesileng iran baton nalmo ton atapilay batod kutlaong. uneyag komon balet kinemkem to agto labay so makatawag na imano balet nanengneng ed pukal na pagew ton mankibbual so liketon agnasabsabaan.

SARAH ROSAS NA PATALAN IV

kasabi nen sarad abong, naimano nen ina ton manterter so amina ganagana to balet nen alinggas nen nana kuring so sakeya deyeng ya sira agtula sinita. inpasaplak nen sarah so sirad dulang, inkataktakot na pusan amamayuey apangat. tinekmelan nen nana kuring insan ginapuan tulan linisan ya walay balibalin imis to ya naibesngaw toy emel ya balikas ya.

“ manisiak lad sika sarah, angilaelaem ka anako” singa manimey so mumukatan to; agto balet ipaimano kanyan intuwek tulay ulo ton bitbit so palangganan kawalay sira.

simmegep si sarad abong , nila toy sipi ta mansalat na kawes. asabian to nimay malapatin piregpireg, tampol ton tinekmaelan. ginuyor to may liting ya walad balangbang to insan to sininger so sakeya sali malapati. intaker tod dingding.

“ ditan ka ta igawan takay kulungan mo ta patabaen ka” , akamulagat so malapati ta iilaluan ton nagerger lay tenger to.” koroo...toookooo....korroootookooo? mantuwektuwek ya singa babansagan toy kansag na masayaksak ya basig na tambol.

nilakseb nen saran amin na lupot ya manga-ampatot na laman ton kimmukusen lapur betel. anengneng toy ambalangan akagulis er ulpo to ya tinundas toy kalitkalit. nilukasan toy aparador inanap toy biks insan pinuyukan. agmet simmugat o agaldian balet walay liknan singa anagasang. ginawat to may daan lan tuwalya ya medyo wala lay abot-abot to sikatoy inpunaspunas tod andukeya buwek to tan amin lamanto.

akalikna amoy kesaw kanyan indukol to nin aganod asimbon iran luplupot. amesmesay inawa ya singa agto labay so umbangon. inguyor to may kamisita ton adukedukey sikatoy insulong to. anonotan toramay baton nalmo tod danum tampol ton kinurong may syorts ton akakunso ed sukong. inkapot toy puwerta. iigur-iguren toy pitek ya pimmeket er masilesileng ya baton nalmo tod angalakan. singa kabaleg na malukod turner, nayarian mon isakob ed mumukatay duweg tan wala niray singa kakekelanting na bukel na mais.

anta nen sarah so balor na bato naaral tod laki to. lilikasen to no panon kabelat. diyad maigot iran nonot wala met so limaran onsa. nen asumpal toran apasileng binalkot toy plastik insan insukib tod silong na kahon na sempet-abong. indukol to lamet ya mankugkugip ya singa mamubullok na bagabaga katekep toy imis ton diyarad imbeneg iran agew misuot ya alig toy akaketket na kabelew.

lapu met lad kesaw to agto apukpukay guyor na lirep tarok toy sanggook ya tanol na lalagariyen ya patukok ya kawayan bayog. si nana kuring balet ay kusokuson manluluto na sira tan belas. mabetbet ton sibuagen imay belek dan butbutyog lapur siba ton mangay ginargar ya ungel na pontin nilaokay babang.

kamamantaan unsabi laray bubulog ya mo manayuyang ed kaab-abungan. maples si nana kuring ya.

“hoy, lalasi kayon agka yo maingal ta naugip si atsi yo, urasan yo ratay palpalato, yaoyaong (lapis), linisan yo tay dulang” inkuan nen nana kuring.

ay! laseg ta mansasyok met ira ta walalay naangub dan mananam ya panangan. wala ni batik ed garitan umbali na peksi ya baleg tarok to met lay bulkindi. inpaway da met lay panag-abol na apangat (singa ra cheerleader ed amerika). anto anonotan yoya, amay kinatkatlin papel ya insinger ed putan ya bislak, sikatoy pansipplat yoy apangat. wala met so immasol na danum awit-awit toy timban plastik, panoen to may buyog ya abalkesay ambasan kamisitan daan. singa no walay yelo to ed betel, anggano say inuman yo et ungot.

ag abayag akaparran lay panangan. pinatawag nen nana kuring si sarah.

“atsi sarah, bangon kila ...atsi sarah bangon kila”

“ungh! ... anto lay oras ... aah!... sigi untumbukak la” inkuanen sarah

bimmangon si sarah, nansagaysay ni buek to tan ... agto la nanpales amay datin andukeya
kamisitan ambalanga ya walay akasulat ya “ ugip koy malet “ ed arap tan “ no lakapen moak” ed beneg.

sakey ed saray agagi to so ag-akapukpuk

“agi! nitan lay reyna ... magangana si atsi sarah”

“hoy! agmoak pa lulukuen ta karoten koy el-el mo” inkuanen sarah

“duga latan ... sarah yurong kadya ... kaabay taka anako” kuanen nana kuring.

naimano nen nana kuring ya malikeliket so anak to kanyan singa asapigar na paga, say walad ulo to et walalay unkakaraw ed anak to balet iya-amot tura tan ya paga. balibali so pandurungo dan sankabulegan. manluplupias so liket da, pati samay aso ran oken akagatgat na sabit na bunor tan naapisay eges to na baaw kalamor.

kasumpal dan angan intagar nen sarah si nana kuring er tagey dimad sipi. mamapasnok si nana kuring ta amay malapati et manluglugtot ya labay toy unbulos tan tinataiyan toray kawekawes.

“ sarah ibulos mo tana ayaepan ... ta agmo anta no siopay akan-ayep er satan”

“agkayo mapaga inang ta patabaen kotan, suerte tan” inkuanen sarah

kinaot nen sarah may plastik ya akasukib ed kahon insan inter tod si inang to. singa aketket ya tadyuko si nana kuring. agto akasel. nilakap toy saray malet.

“anako wala lay panaral mo ... masarag laya ... anggano diya kalad dagupan” inkuanen nana kuring.

kamamantaan walay sinmabin bisita ra, duaran laki ya walay edad dala. singa nagngel nen sarah ya tagara kapitolyo kuno.

anto kasi nakaukulan dad si sarah, akinet limma rad abong da. alaen dan kandidata ya miss pangasinan o anto kasi.

on anto, magano....magano ta nauputay tinta ya bulpin ko. pasensiya kila no matalag nen tulaw lay panagsulat ko agagik ira. maong kila siguron manbasa na tungtung. ay salamat met no untan. anus labat so bilay anggano mani-irap agyo sasaeway man-ehersisiyo biyer yotay panagsiray karni, maabig so pising tan sira daiset labat so asin.

sigi sirin, manaruan kayo. say Diyos manuna lawas. mantanem kayoy panangaro ed kapuspusuan yo. say maaro lawas.md

SARAH ROSAS NA PATALAN III

2009-02-26T18:29:00.000-08:00

manonton dalan

IMBENEG:

say paga no maminsan uputen toy oras tayo tan takewen toy ugip. say irap no aliing kila wala nid nonot, kanyan labanan tayoy paga, mananap kayoy gawaen yon panmaongan singa manlinis kayoy abong. tuwa yay kuanda ya say pangasinan et ag mapalinis na abong. sigi pa nengneng yo tay kuarto yo no atayakatak tan marabok tay bintana. ipakerew yora latay agyo nakaukulan laot la natan ta balon taon ta piyan ag-asimsimbon ditar suysuyok na abong. sakey ni maawang so galawgalawan yo.

paga so akamesmes ed kanonotan nen sarah. walay paga ton agmakasumpal ed kolehiyo ta masyadoy irap da tan amayamay iran san-aagi. bangmas wala ray ilalon untulong ed sikato agto makasiguro. panangasi Diyos apesakan tan naitalem to met lamay kawes ton adalaan. natan balet say lima to et limmarag ta aketket na gamayan.

SARAH ROSAS NA PATALAN 03

ampetang lay takiling na agew ed bukig, tutundasen turay abutawbutaw iran dingding. nanengneng met lay al-alingasew na atep ya ateneb na linaew. saray malangwer iran ulnos na kamoti so singa mankawey ya mikakasin getelen. mankarokok laray palekpek ya mankakaykay ed dabok mananap na bukel pamaer na eras. saray biroroko agni simmawan didilakutan day epas na ponti. manpanta ray niyogan, manlalason ya bungan malangwer aampatutey palatang ya abong na kimuyekyek ya kulalaknit aliling na agagi nen saran nauugip.

sakeya andeket ya malapati so sibangsibang ed toktok na pantol. akablos siguro et agto atonton so ubong to. nalmo toy bintanan lukas nankalkalnan dimmapo. mankutdukutdon mana-akar babansagay pinatpinat na tenger to, aliling toy unsasayaw na kindokindo. alinggis toy amputiputin akasalar ed dingding ya didilakotay sinag na agew. pabangking
so ulo ton mumutektekan to, agto napugta no antoy nenengnengen to. pinalansa toy nengneng so loob na abong anggapoy alupaan tod saray akaugip. pinawil to may alasalar
ed dingding. anonotan tora may bisitan manpapaagew ed playa ya nanbubuntok na panangan. abayag lan man-aalagar balet anggapo ni anupak na panagan anggan ukis labat na ponti o biskutson immawet.

akiki inkakuwatit to tinikyab to may asingger ed dingding. walay adapuan ton agaylay lemek daddaiset ya kimmutep so sali to, akaluglugtot kalamor, bimmasil, ay agi ta parehoy lemek kanyan ama-abalaten ya napnoy ulo toy tepet tan say eges ton abayag lan mananap na nakan. nen akanengneng na akaamot ya pasas, bimmaleg so mata tod liket, mantangertanger, insan biglan tinepek to, agto nala, tinepek to lamet.

agiiiiiiii ... bastosss ... akaluglugtot si sarad sakit. ataktakot met may malapati abanggabangga to ni dingding ya timmikyab. naelew kibangkibang ya manakar. tinekmelan nen sarah inbantak tod sipi, insan ipalalbag toy kapot. inyurong tod suyok
akasalar ed dingding, nguronguron manpapa-imasmas. natan duara lay iindaen to pati
samay limaton aketket na gamayan. manterter kalamor so luwa to labay toy unugaog
balet simmulming lay baing to. atibukel ed nonot to so mansasangaan iran getma piyan
ag nasayang iray agew leleg na bakasyon.

inmalagey, binantag toy bangkag ya datin daleman toray ermen ton unkeketket ed pukel. wadmaniray adasdasig ya sirguelas untan met ed saray kawayan tua ya miay-ayam ed
siplog na dagem ya papaliberan day kabueran ya kekewkewey alimbusabos. berdi lay bulong na sirguelas, labalabay daray kanding ya kalaben gatgaten day bulong, singa mangatgat na lawer ya apulakitay apog tan apasipitay bua.

ditad lusuran to tan et patalan maawa-awang ya kabatoan ya tatalikepkepay garana, amutay patang, bonor tan urang. dati met itan ya dalin nen laki to balet akamkam na danum kanyan say dalin da et binelsay na angalakan. lapud anggapoy naani ran pinabangan inpatawir nen laki to ed sikara. saramay tatanemay pagey so walad saray kakapinsan nen sarah. sikato ni akasengeg na barongan da.

ipipitingpiting toray gamet nen sarah no nayari lan panpesak, medyo nayari met lan
pangemkem na labada. walay anonotan to. limmetsab, inanap to may barang insan limman amatang na duaran maimo-imos ya tagumbaw, inukisan to singa mestisan akanengneng na pugot ed puti. inala toy antiparan parad danum tan panay sira. nan-getel met na bulong na tagumbaw ta sikatoy igusagos(amay totot) tod antipara piyan malinlinew so pakanengneng tod danum.

nalmo to may antiktikey ya siyorts to ya walay kapitatan ton manga-ampatot na amina kalasian to. walay malasay ya anasnas ya abel ya manbaybayes ed ulpo no manakar, aliling toy liman mankawkawey. abalang ni duaran butunes to kanyan medyo akasugkang ya walay pankanawnaway takiling. insulong to may daan met ya kamisitan walay buwaya ya samay sangi to et singa to itatangal so gloriad patalan, duyaw ya mapusyaw lapud anusnus lay labada.

imbalkes toy lubir ya abaka ya pandeyeng na anto kaman ya natekmelan o napana ton bunor, gelegele, bulanbulan o kisingkising. akasapatos met na vans ya anggapoy medyas.
nalilinggis moy putiy kalitkalit ton sasambaen toy anggapoy tisnan bikking. apungpung metlay liston to kanyan tinaker toy amagan ukis na epas na ponti.

andukeya maong so buwek to kanyan pinunglot toy bulong na silag, amay nasnas na panlalagaay bayong. nan-aplus na larak piyan masiling so baog to tan makarunyas so danum. pati bibil to met piyan ag-umbetagbetag o naluknis.

tinawag tomay aso ton si shiela ta sayan aso labalabay toy manlangoy, unlegep ni, ta nen okeni so awit-awit ton naynay ya manames kanyan naaralan to. diyad bangkag ira dimmalan ta wala ray istambay ed garita nen nana betang ya asaksakbay ya unsusupsup na demonyo.

asabi nen saray angalakan, malinlinew so danum. aliwan tanton ambetel. makapal iray tarektek ya amutay sira. no amay nabantag daka et nasasiyok iran ikutep day laman dad
pitek. say lamuyak akapeketpeket ed bato so singa kurtinan sayawsayaw ed dangem. marakep dimad maples so agos ta say sira et labay toy unsubad agos, ag-ira maples ya maong, umpeket nirad bato. say danum et anggad pueg kanyan anggapoy pagan nalener ka. agmo la nakaukulan so pabelat.

asabian toray labanderan walad kapegleyay tungtung ya babansagay masasanting iran tugtug na radyo. walaan ira na pankanawnawan sayawsayaw no amay natalikepkepan iray ganan agnabiyer. naimanu ray kagangana nen sara, talagan marikit lan anggapoy bawas. laot la nen abantag dan immimwas insan immalagey, ay agi mapekepeket so kamisita to, ipapanta toysukog na linggas. nguronguro labat so narengel mo lapud ungol na agos

ipupulisay nen sara iray lamuyak nen biglan walay limmugtot ya gelegele, insilan to immamot et tarektek, naaninag toy timmalsik ya pitek, dinayb to kabansag na basig na weywey ton tagumbaw, pinormaan toy letran balinsuwek ya V piyan amay sira et agto umbatik, asukoy tangkay na tagumbaw akalabas may ikul to. pininat nen saray pana ya walay sima ... tssseek ... manpulagsak may gelegele, nalad asang. intagey nen sara ya singa tropiyo. agaylay liket to ya katekep toy giwgiw. batik ed sakbit binagot toy balkes ton abaka insan to dineyeng. singa kabaleg na putay barang ya gawad mangaldan o singa ngalungaluan.

anggapoy pipiliyen to anggan patang. no kurokuro itatamukal to. walay paitpait toy daiset laot samay andekereket ya walay bugi to. sayan panangerel na sira say tawag da et manpasupok, tano nanengneng damay amputiputin tagumbaw unsupok irak pitek, lamuyak o tarektek. aramay walaan so manusar iray bateryay kotsi, koryentiyen day sira.

ag-abayag wala lay duaran dakulap ed deyeng to kanyan pipigarpigaren toray bato mananap na urang tan bennek. saray bennek singa kakabaleg nga kukuy tangay sali. balibali yan salumagian ilaok mo met lamay urang. ibubulsa toy bennek kanyan nanengneng mon akamugkal. nen akabukay na masilesileng ya bato singa kabaleg na maloko tan wala niray ankekelanting ya singa bukel na mais ya atiptipon ed kutlaong. dinukdok to insan inyan tod bulsa to. akaimis ya makalugtot lawari balet kinemkem toray liket balet agto naiyamot iray araralem ya anges tan geget ya ipapantay malet ya gemgem na dakulap.

....hmmmmmm agagi anto kasi nalmo nen sara, ituloy tayo tan. aralem lay labid diya ed
bukig katekep toy betel. sigi mamatanirak nin magano, taynanan takayon lalakapey kansiyon nen amy grant “i remember you”. manaroan kayo. say Diyos maaro lawas. agkayo kerew lan kerew, manpasalamat kayo met. aralen yoy manpasensiya piyan balesan kayoy liga. salamat ya balbaleg. medyo abayagak ya akasaew.

natan siguro et aliing met lay daiset so dila yon pangasinan, anto. say maaro lawas ya kabaleyan yo.md no labay yoy manbasay inglis http://poemhunter.com/manonton-dalan/, no tagalog http://emanila.com, no ilokano, http://bilingualpen.com tan http://iluko.com. no pangasinan diya.

To My Valentine

2009-02-26T18:24:00.000-08:00

By AG

February 14th was Valentine’s Day and this day was a big day for me when I was in my twenties. When I wrote these verses, I transported myself to the time when I was twenty one. At that age, I was brave even to promise the moon to the girl I love.

I don’t know how to tell you about how I truly feel,
But I know that love could drag me to the highest hill,
So I am proclaiming to the world and for everybody to hear,
That I love you and I am a slave of your love that’s very dear.

After we met, you ignited the elixir of my life to give light,
To flicker my night’s dream that’s peppered by your sight,
I have always hated to wake up, I’d like to go on dreaming,
Because empty arms I’ll have upon waking up in the morning.

Whenever you're with me, my heart races out of bound,
Because the effect of your touch is very deep and profound,
You’ve always given me pain and heartburn whenever you’re away,
Because I always think about you from morning up to the end of the day,

You asked me once how much I love and how much I adore you,
You asked me how would you know that what I am saying is true,
You should know that I love you with all my heart to the earth's ending,
And if my soul had a heart, I’ll love you, always will, beyond remembering!

Short Stories of the Heart - Sofia

2009-01-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

Pio “Bering” Beringuella

Is it love?

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me. 1

This is how I remember her. She will always be a mystery to me.

When I got back in Guam, I was surprised to hear that I was promoted for passing the Fundamental Engineering examinations. As part of my additional responsibilities, the entire engineering staff reported to me. This arrangement gave me the opportunity to lighten my design load, which is a blessing as my go-getter attitude turned south to day-dreaming,

As my friend Hector said, “It looks like you will be back here very soon. What’s with your deep thoughts? It’s Sofia, isn’t it?” Words that remained fresh in my mind for months. I was in denial. It is not possible I thought. I did not want to think of a long distance relationship again. When the relationship goes south, the unknowns make the break-up a bitter pill to swallow.

Frequent phone calls and love letters are not a substitute for being close to each other. We never dated alone when I was in Manila. It was always a group date. Only Hector noticed that I looked at her so differently. He must know me well as a good friend would.

I knew I should be closer to her but I kept quiet as there was that hesitation of long distance courtship let alone maintaining a long distance relationship. In my mind, I would not want to be in such a relationship again.

A day after our night out at the Disco, Hector said, “It looks like you have inkling for Sofia. I will step aside so you can pursue her.” I did not answer. I did not want to reinforce whatever I was feeling at that moment.

The months following my return from Manila were torture. I know I have to be with her. We have to make memories; memories that we would cherish as years go by. I was thinking of an intimate dinner; being stranded on an island; and a stroll on a secluded beach.

Is it love?

If it is love, love spares no expense. The roses, the phone calls, the love letters occupied my days and wishfully her days too.

Sofia became my only girl, only in my thoughts I suppose. I never took a girl this seriously before. My girlfriends were just girlfriends. Sofia was different. She was the one I want to be with for the rest of my life.

I had an uneasy feeling of not being close to her so I made plans for a trip back to Manila. I returned to Manila the following year. I was expecting her to meet me at the airport. We will have a date at last. We will have an intimate dinner. We will just be together.

But love is cruel.

She was not at the airport to meet me. When I got home, I had to wait for her call for what seemed like months. Finally, she called. I didn’t know what to say.

At that time, though she told me a few times that she will not be able to see until a few days after I arrive as the ASEAN Games starts on the same day as my arrival; still I refused to believe her. Deep in me, I knew she will be at the airport.

She is an archer and is a member of the National Team competing in the ASEAN Games at the Rizal Sports Complex. I would have loved to be in the stands and watch her compete but she said, “You will only get bored. You will only be a distraction. I need concentration.”

I have learned early in life not to argue with girlfriends. I had to wait. She will see me when she finds it convenient.

Now, life is cruel too.

I didn’t get to see her until a few days later. I could only manage a dinner date three days later at Manila Hilton where I was staying. It was one of those uneventful dinner dates. It was a very quiet dinner. All I remember was we shared fresh strawberries for dessert. She offered me a bite first. I could only oblige and manage a smile. Then I had to take her home. She needed a full sleep for the following day’s competition.

There was a cloud of question marks in the air; questions that I feared asking. I felt relegated. I became irrelevant to her being.

I realized that despite those frequent phone calls we didn’t know each other. I was not even sure there was a hint of attraction between us. But the challenge of a pursuit was just too much to ignore. Whether it was intentional on her part, I didn’t want to know. I knew she was being polite for being my date. Nevertheless, I was hooked. I took the bait, line and sinker.

Or was it really love?

We had a few more dinner dates, which unbeknown to us became our hallmark.

We had dinner at the Manila Hotel. The hotel was highly secured compared to the Hilton. We had to go through metal detector and we were being video-taped. I thought, “Wow! Are we movie stars?” Café Ilang-Ilang was empty. We were the only two in the restaurant. I had been away from the Philippines maybe too long as I thought what I experienced is the norm. The Philippines was still under Martial Law. Sofia, however, has a notion that President Marcos must be in the hotel.

As we were having our coffee, there was a rush of people entering the restaurant. And there walking past us was Imelda Marcos. Upon seeing her Sofia said, “I can’t believe they even let us have dinner here. Usually, they will clear out the place before Imelda walks in.” I said, “You are beautiful. I am handsome. How could they resist such company?”

We pretty much dated around Manila only. There were no out of town getaways. We sat back, sip cocktails, and listen to the band in the Atrium Lounge at Century Park Sheraton. We watched a cultural presentation at the Top of the Hilton.

We went to the Lighthouse Club with her teammates. I ended up spending most of the time conversing with someone’s date. Her name was Cynthia. I knew I was being watched. Had it been some sort of an exam, I failed miserably. I must have scored zip. They did not like me! They said, “He is more interested in Cynthia than you.” whereby Sofia confessed, “I know. He is so boring. I don’t think I want to go out with him again.”

There was something unusual between Sofia and me. I leaned to being quiet whenever I am around her. There was that uncomfortable feeling that was holding me back. The hesitation came to fore whenever we are together.

We were strangers. Literally! Yet, word was out in our families that we are an item. My mother learned it from her aunt, who is our neighbor in the town that we grew up. Was I that surprised when my mother mentioned it to me! I screamed quietly, “I didn’t know but now I know!” I walked away expeditiously. I didn’t want to hear the affirmative question.

I took some girls home before to introduce to my family but never as “girlfriends”. Not even Chie, whom my mother remembered too well because she is Japanese.

Our friends were more surprised. Never in their lives have they imagined that I will end up Sofia’s boyfriend. Much to my surprise, everyone said that we were engaged and soon to be married. Even my parents thought I made the trip back to Manila to ask her hand for marriage. And the TV show, The Buzz, was not even on the air. There were talks of grand wedding; of where the honeymoon would be. Honolulu. San Francisco. New York. Will she travel back with him to Guam? It was, well, entertaining.

The cart has been put in front of the horse.

Ironically, it was time to go back to Guam. It’s time to get out of town and out of the midst of wedding speculations. Yet I wished I could stay longer. I wanted to get to know her. There was this recurring conflict within me. And perhaps, her too!

“I love her. I love her not.” And she would say “I love him. I love him not.”

With these doubts in our thoughts, I went back to Guam. She was not around to say good bye. Needless to say, I did not get a good bye kiss.

And with yet another disappointment, she remained a mystery to me.

PBB/01-02-09

Footnotes
1 Excerpt from “She's Always A Woman To Me” by Billy Joel

Anto so Anggapo ed Siak?

2008-11-26T11:20:00.000-08:00

by Kankanti

Nakar koy binmisita ed sakey ya Nursing Home. Anengneng kod sukong so sakey ya masiken, mantaon na 90, akayurong ed wheelchair. Walay naaninag ya ermen ed lupa ton awalaan lay dakel ya gulis. Dakel angangko so irap ya apadalan tod bilay to. Diad sayan bektad inkamasiken to, manbokbokor kalamor ed bilay to. Manaayam ed Nursing Home ta anggapo met so kanayon ton malabay ya manasikaso ed sikato. Saya so kultura dia ed America - no alampasan mo lay oras ya walay usar mod bilay; no agka la napinabangan na pamilyam odino sociodad, ibantak da kad Nursing Home tan diman mo la alagaren ya bawien kay Amalsam!

Dinagok ya kinumusta; linmiwawa so mata to tan akaimis na mapitat. Maong met kono so kipapasen tod man balet panpirpirawatan ton nabisita komon met na anak ton walad sananey ya state. Balet say kuanto, agto met natetel imay anak to ta wala lay familya ton dili tan angangko busy ed trabaho. Mala-kapalduay oras kamin nanestoryaan. Nibaga ton sundalo kono nen saman et akakar ed Leyte nen panaon nen McArthur. Abilay so masiken ed pan-eestorya toy experiensiya tod Pilipinas; wala ray akarelasyon ton bibiin Pilipina. Agto amta no walaray atilakan toy bini tan no wala kasi tinmoo. Anggano onya lay edad to, nanengneng nin walay taraki to. Siguro mas lalo ni nen walad kalangweran - indengan na sakey ya palekero!

Diad elekan mid paneestorya, walay sakey ya akulaw ya dinmago. Aktibo ni tan aliwa nin tanto ya kabaw. Akisaw-saw ed estoryaan tan ag nanbayag sikatoy angibangka met la. Say pakalikas ko dakel ni panestoryaan dan dua nen siak so nanpatanir. Narerengel ko ni karakkakan dan dua nen wala ak lad hallway.

Diman so gapuan na inpankaaro ran dua, anggad nagmaliw iran san-inaro. Naynay iran sankaiba tan nanengneng mo iran akasanib ed sukong, aka-egnad lima, manlalakapan, odino puyok-puyokan. Singa awalaan na talos so bilay dan dua tan naikdan iray rason ya ombangon ed dukolan da no kabuasan. No nayari ni komon so manasawa, sikatoy labay dan gawaen. Balet masarag lay puyok-puyok tan karapas-karapas ta diad karakel na tambal ya tutumaren dan dua, amay gawa to may masiken agla anggan ontanger!

Pigay bulan ya lanang iran duan saniba ed antokaman ya laen tan gawaen da. Balet sakey ya agew, aga pinmaway ed kuwarto imay masiken tan agto la akibana diman ed paborito dan sukong. Diad tinmombok iran agew, iiwasan to la imay akulaw. Walay aminsan, agto la pinansin imay akulaw ed pananganan. Binmeleng imay akulaw. Mas lalon asakitan so liknaan to nen sakey ya agew anengneng ton sananey lay kaiba ton may masiken. Sakey met ya akulaw ya aliwan tanton magana, maulimek tan walay sakit ton peyeng-peyeng tan mangiwgiwgiw so gana-gana to. Wadman irad sukong ya datin ayuyang da; maree-reen iran dua. Singa anggapoy nagagawa, anto ah!

Manakis imay akulaw#1 ta say palikna to trinaidor da. Pigaran kutsaran baaw labat so naakan to ta ngalngalin agto nabikler so kakanen to. Kasumpal dan nandem, inmasingger ed samay masiken ta kaukulan ton naantaan no akin et insalat da, tan no akin et aman nin bii. Singa wala lad katre, linmeksab nid datal. Say kuanton mansibek, "Antoy agawam sika? Abaluan ko inanaro moak. Akin et insalat moak ed sikato? Gagawaen ko met so nayarian ko pian napaliket taka, agka la akontento ed siak. Anto so anggapo ed siak ya walad sikato? Mansalita ka!"

Singa akonsensiya imay masiken ta wala met lanti pinagsamahan dan dua. Balet inmebat tan inkuwanto, "Mas labay kon kaiba nen say sika ta walay Parkinson's disease to! Atan so anggapod sika!"

Short Stories of the Heart – Part 3

2008-11-26T10:59:00.000-08:00

by Pio “Bering” Beringuella

Prolog III

SIYA

It’s 1980.

She may be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
Maybe my treasure or the price I have to pay

She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things 1

It’s May 2nd, 1980. It’s yet another town fiesta. I arrived late that morning from Guam for what I though to be a short uneventful getaway. But, as some would say, love is out there.

It’s the beginning of my journey to the world of uncertainty.

In front of our house is the school where I have to wait for the bell to ring before I leave the house. In front of the school and diagonal to our house is the town plaza where I spent most of my childhood days running after grasshoppers. On that day, the town plaza was transformed into the town fair; one or two Ferris Wheels, a Bingo stand, and those ever present kirit-kirit tables.

I walked the street between the town plaza and school to wonder on what is new in town. The street is lined with centuries old acacia tree, which made it to a leisurely walk. As I walk I noticed a lady walking in the opposite direction. She looked different. She has big curly hairdo. She carries herself so elegantly. She must be also in town only for the town fiesta.

I looked at her. She looked at me. And with the slightest move of her head, I know I am being snubbed. And so I looked at her again. This time my thoughts were, “Yeah right. I am an American.”

That evening was the annual big dance and coronation of the ladies that graces the festivities. My sparring partner and I put on our best dress shirt and went to the auditorium. As we were roaming around looking for ladies to dance, we happen upon a group of ladies who happen to be my high school classmates.

In that group was Zeny, who was still upset with me for not going to the class reunion a few years back. She did not like how I declined the invitation and made sure I remember every time I see her. Also in the group is that lady who snubbed me that afternoon.

I looked at her and no response. So I had to pull Zeny aside and ask her to introduce me to her friend. It turned out she was our classmates in elementary. And I thought it will be the end of our “introduction”.

We went on a group date the following day. Ride a Ferris wheel; play kirit-kirit; and most of all talk. Or precisely listen as I am bashful. The big unknown in the group though we all went to the same school since grade one.

It was the first of many group dates. We all went back to Manila; have lunch at McDonalds and a dinner at Kentucky. And I remember going to a Disco in the University Belt.

Before I went back to Guam, my sparring partner said, “It looks like you will be back here very soon.” “Why would you say that? It may take years before I come back here for another vacation.” “You will see.” “See what?!”

Back in Guam, though it has been years I was still recovering from a failed long distance relationship. I just can’t convince myself that being apart a thousand miles can ever be bridged.

It took two months to make a move as she preoccupies my thoughts every minute. Keeping myself busy by jogging everyday a good five miles on Ypao Beach did not make me forget her. Not even a few cocktails at the Tree Bar at Guam Hilton at the end of my run.

My facial expression turned melancholy as I puffed those cigarettes, as I took back to smoking again. For no reason at all!

And so I wrote her that night.

I went to the florist early the following morning. I may not have been the first customer but I sure did wake up the florist when I said, “I want a dozen long stem red roses deliver to Malacanang in Manila.” “She must be someone special.” I did not answer.

As I was writing her name and address, the florist asked, “What do you want on the card?” “Just a simple ‘Hello’” “Are you sure that is all you wanted to say?” “Yes, a simple ‘hello’ and my first name.”

And this became my weekly routine.

Of course, there is the weekly phone calls and occasional Almond Roca because …

There's something
I must say out loud

You’re once, twice

Three times a lady

Yes you’re once twice

Three times a lady 2

PBB/11-22-08

Footnotes
1 Excerpts from “She” by Elvis Costello
2 Excerpts from “Three Times A Lady” by Lionel Richie

Pang harana ni Bering!

2008-11-26T10:00:00.000-08:00

She by Elvis Costello

Short Stories of the Heart – Part 1

2008-11-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

Pio “Bering” Beringuella

Prolog I

VICKI

It’s 1979.

Or was it? I was just sworn in as Assistant Electrical Engineer after passing the board examination given that fall. Passing the board examinations was what I was looking forward to when I was in college. When I got my license, I knew I have to work but work can wait. I had a few months to spare before I have to go back to Guam. I was after all still a kid then.

Our town was in full swing of preparation for the town fiesta. As with any trip back home I spent most of my time playing basketball in the town plaza.

Sometimes I wonder how I find the time to visit some old friends in high school. I seldom see them after I went to college and never did I hang out with any of them in Manila. I had new set of friends in college. One of them, who eventually became my Best Man when I got married, was with me on that trip.

One late afternoon, we decided to walk down east to visit a friend, whom my classmates and teachers have been pairing with me in high school. My college friend knew she was my girlfriend as they have met before and have heard “the stories”. Such stories were always stretched; limited only by anyone’s imagination. 1

In their house that day is Vicki, her cousin. She was in town for the town fiesta. She must not have heard those stories about her cousin and me as we struck a friendly conversation upon introduction. Friendly enough to go to a group date to the town fair. A date that was no longer considered a group as we spent most of the time together. We laughed as we play, and lost, playing “kirit-kirit” and “pula’t puti”. And scared her by swinging the Ferris wheel, for the only purpose of getting an accidental hug!

I could feel the closeness between the two of us; much like we have known each other for a long time. I must have been given an unusually warm welcome as I am a “foreigner”. Or was I falling in love to feel such way. But then again I knew I was good looking and most of all … charming.

Vicki invited me to visit her at work in Manila so she can test for my blood type. She was so excited and shaking while drawing blood. One of the other nurses, who peek-in, had to draw my blood.

Quite a few of the nurses came in just to say hello. I still remember those muted talks among them. And not so silent giggles that followed. As soon as I heard those giggles, I lost interest. The challenge of pursuit is gone. Completely gone!

The following day and several days thereafter, my friend ribbed me whenever he gets a chance that Vicki and I ignored him all night on that visit. 2

He didn’t know, and I have not told him to today, that I lost interest that night.

It was the last time I saw Vicki. I never called her again. Not even to say good bye as I had to go back to Guam. I never answered her letters when I was sin Guam.

I will always remember her for telling me that I have a Royal Blood.

PBB/11-18-08

Footnotes

1 I still hear stories of me and her always alone in the “bahay kubo” in the school grounds; me and her in a “kariton”; and a few more stories that always get interesting after the first glass of Chardonnay. Not a single story I can remember. I was pre-occupied with mathematics in high school as I occasionally was a substitute teacher and I grade all test papers in plane geometry, advanced algebra, and trigonometry. I have no time for a girl friend.

2 Ignoring him was not the reason he was annoyed. He didn’t like Vicki. He thought she is short and ugly. I can’t blame him. He was right. He was returning a favor I did for him a few years before. He dumped his girlfriend after I made a similar comment. At least I waited until they were together.

sarah rosas na patalan II

2008-11-18T21:28:00.000-08:00

manonton dalan

Say imbeneg:

alibit so liknaan nen sarah ed saray apalabas ya bektan anggan siopa ed sikatayo ya akabatak ed sayan kikipasen so walay atilak ya gulis ed pagew tayon mi-ambegya tan manpabli na say tatawagen ya kasumpalay urong o salita ray amputi aping “graduation day.” bangmas walay makapanangnangis iran akalakap ed puso nen sarah wala may kuandan ilalo ya walad dakulap na misteryo... ya singa si walter iimbitaan toy sarah ya ibaan may anak ton manaral ed kolehiyo.

siopa ed sikayo agmakalikna na inawa tan liket lalo no lukasan yuray indederew dan sobri et walay laman ton malaelaem iran tulong. untan met so liliknaen no makapandudupong kayon sangkapamilyaan ya paraburan tan birbiren so maong ya gawa o asumpal na sayan bilay tayo.

sakey ni amay tangawtangaw ya mansisigarilyo agto iimanuen no iner so pangibabantakan toy pongpong, atan dakel lalaingen iray asakitan lapur nibana ya pimmmata ed kahoy kuitis ... manlalbong... kibatiktik ira... dakel so ataltalapos da. say makapabaing walaramay gamet ya mansikwat na agda kayarriyan.

diya tayo met naimatunan so ugali nen sarah ya nepeg tayon itangsit. agton balot ninonot ya nadalaan so amputin kawes to nanunaan so pakatulong tod too.

agagik ira deen kayoy daiset ta iparungtal ko lamet si sarah:

sarah rosas na patalan

palbangon la nen akasempet si sarah. igagayugoy to lay sali to lapud kesaw.insasabit turay rosas ya eberlasting ed altar tan nantalimukor nin angiter na pisasalamat. sikatotay inpabangon nen inato. pinaugip to met laray agagi tod ikamen ya akabilkag ed datal. say ules da so abutawbutaw lapud panguguyuran da no unsabi betel na labi. say danganan da kapes ya inyan ed supot na arena. aliwan tanton anlemek, atukeltukel lad ilol tan linget. saksakeya kuwarto mantatapilan ira o makakawelan ira ya singa bebelek ya unseseksek ya mansoso. say lamparaan da so larak na niyog, ambalbalingit ya no amay impamagan rosas na ilang-ilang et italem yod larak insan sikatoy usaren yod lamparaan.

akaplas na mumukatan nen sarah so adasig iran agagi to ya anggapo ni siwang ya bakatan katekep toy makudrep ya silew.

niya lay sarah:

hmmm ... singa ra manaya sardinas so anak na. aay! daddaiset kolan alingwnan may kawes ko, umpano nanmansa lamay dala. kawalan to kasi may linti ta unnaak ya manburbur na kalamansi ta sikatoy iguragor ko. sikatomay ginawak nen agerger koy gamet ko tan naipuranis kod paldak. agmo nabirbir so mansa sika, balet aya et amputi kanyan italem kod kloroks kasumpal kon pesakan.

ay agi singaak unsasayaw na pandangngo ed silew ya manakar ed leet-leet na sali tan taklay darayan ugugawan. unlaak labat ed sipi ya mananap na linti naupot lay oras. anto kasi no karapasen kola ramay kalamansi, balet no walay uleg ey!

diyad sipi mi walay melag ya tukador ya walay salming ya iparungtal toy itsuram balet umbukutak ta atageyak lan maong no andi say natakiling ko labat et pagew ko anggad sali. aha! sikato manayan say inkuanda maganganaak ... biglan limmarag irayay duara datirati singara labat pantol natan ay agi duaran dakulap kolay sakey walani alabi, ay katawan kon diyos. pangalaan koy isaliw koy manampatot ed saraya. sikato manayan singa umpultak iray matara no manamesak ed angalakan ya akakamisitaak labat. andi bali agdamet naala. pati saray kawes ko abalegan kolara. maong labat pinakerewan dak iramay pilalabadaan mi. sikatoy tatastasen ko insan daiten. balibali ta malaelaem so abel no kulang mangalaak lad saramay retaso sikatoy isuldong ko. pilien komay ag-manarawi-ay kolor.

ay! niya lamay linti. ay! salamat nayari ni. nakaukulan paspasan ko ta alas dos la. singa sisinitey dapan ko, asasyokak walaak ed dalin ya tampol ya manbububur na kalamansi. duga layay walora. inalak may batya. ingaton komay kawes ko insan ko ginusagos na iramay daladala. nan-alagarak na sampluran minutos insan ko inpesak ed sabon ya perla. kasumpal kon binanlawan intalem kod kloroks. aay! salamat asumpalak la. maong lalaingen ta naugip iran amin no andi siguradon disturbuen dak.

simmegepak, nanapak na pasen ya dukulan ko. diyalad gilig na dingding. insabit koy salik ta singa alemay. papasuoten koy laman kon naugip balet tinalikebkebanak na arawin nonot ya pangasi diyos agnapaksot kanyan say nonot koy migagantil ed antukaman tan antukasi, nayari o andibali. balet makmaksil so guyor na agnayari, diman apespes so pagew ko ya singa labay koy unakis o uneyag. atibukel ed nonot ko ya agak mi-asawa manaralak ni ta siguradok ya nayarian kon ipasa anggan antutan. anonotan koni ya wala may agi nen inak ya walad biyektaew umpan napautang toak na panaral ko. say problemad saman amay asawa to et masyadon masiblet tan mankinon. antak nimay telepono ra, say tawagan ko balet samay asawa to.

kimmalmay liknaan koy daiset, manbelat lay talukap na matak. wala met lay imis na aping kon akasingub na baleg ya ilalo. angga man untan managos so luak katekep toy pupukpukan ya sibek. wala ni may tetel kon singa linat no akinet inyanakak ya pobre tan amayamay kami ni. sakey ya buleg ya tua balet masuirti la no mangan kamin mamidua ed sanagew, lallalo natan mablin amina saliwen. agak la miasawa no kasagmakan ko et kaparay bilay ko natan. singa samay baik ya sakey agtola aki-asawa.

kamamantaan akalikna si sarah na unkukurong ed ulpo to. agto anta no uleg, utot, asipet, ikul na pusa o gamayan. paulyanan to komon balet manasinger ed el-el to kanyan.

agi-gi-g-gi-gi... akaluglutot... tan aka eyag –eyag. adepakan to ni dingding ya inkaliing na agagi to ya walay immeyag na.

“kawalay gurabis?” sakey ed sikara so anelsel na lamparaan. amataan day sarah ya gemgem toy lima ton unlalarag. binukay day ules, daganan . anengneng day andukedukey ya gamayan. pinekpek day sinelas. nankakamulsit so kalasianto.

aketket na gamayan, pinadala da insan ginusagus na inasin no walay patis mas maabig. maong lalaengen ta lima aliwan el-el. no andi di ikang-ikang nabuas. anggaman untan ag-makapesak. wala ni atilak ed lirep na agew sakbay ya gantilen toy tanaman tan ayep kanyan amawil iran nilakap lamet so mareen ya bilunget. walay kamaongay ugugaw, aliwa ran mapanonot, basta walay pankanawnawa na painawa, manpainawa ra

pulyanan tiran aksubien day samit na labin malinak pati siak agagik et makakaugipak met la. untan pa komon ta naililiing korayay balikas tayon mandagdaiset ya aakmuney lingwan. no nayaryari komon et mangikurit kayo met ditay kapirit ya singa ikakawey yoray lima yod siak o ikikindat yoratay maaron mata yo. manaroan kayo, say Diyos manuna lawas. salamat ed sikayon amin. ituloy tayo yan tungtung. maksil lawas komon so laman tayon amin.md

sarah, rosas na patalan

2008-11-10T11:28:00.000-08:00

manonton dalan

PAUNA:

abalitaan yola may kangarngaran ko et tetetelen da ed inpakatalo nen juan ed eleksiyon say kuanda ya say antato kuno et say aprika et baley tan mairap ya ibangat maong ya mangawes ... natan bargin lamay salming to tan samay kawes to babawin dala.

amina nababalitaan tayo balet et kunon amin. nepeg ya isekder yoy balangbang yo tan ikinon yo so ginawa to. magangana anggan anton diking so takilingen yo talagan ulandes. atan so sakey ya nanparaan mi.

siak manaya si sarah bimmalegak ed kuladaan tan mantratraysikelak no sabado tan simba, no bilang say bilayo et mipara ed siak et pasensiya kila nibanan saksakey siguro so bakat na kapalaran tayo. sakbay kon igapo so tungtung ko, inum kayo ni kapi atsi. kuya, aging, nana, mama, bai, laki tan arum nira. kapinsan kod pueg si md. sige sirin deen kayon ugugaw. say ag undeen agmakailop na digo.(digoy inlambong ya pukepukel na bakad baguio, mananam ha!) md mangetel kalay ulnos na sili.

ROSAS NA PATALAN:

maingal so labin kawalan ko balet say liknaan koy mapalpalna. amin iran kaeskuelak et agay lay liket da ta asumpal lay urong tan sakey ni walay ilalo ran unurong ed kolehiyo. siak balet anggapon balot ni kapirit ya ilalo lapor kikipasen na bilay mi. milalabada labat si inak tan mantratraysikel si amak. bangmas walay ermen kon kukupkupen ed pagew agkon balut inpalikas pati saray atatengko.

nen tawagen day ngaran ko agi. agko apukpukan so panterter na luwak. apalaran ko kalamor so mikaliman nansumpal ya ngalngali abuten toy sanlibon eskuela ed atagey ya aralan. pati saray agagik, kakapinsan ko, atateng ko so alay liket da. singa ra akagamor na balitok ya nanpaterter na luwa dad liket.

anggan panon so irap akasaliw met ira kalamor na adeyengdeyeng ya eberlasting ed kindi nana nannette ya managlakoy pisipising ya manlalapud baguio. akasian dani inak ya inpakerew dalay sakey ya masansanting ya rosas ya ambalbalanga. sikatoy angub-anguben kon isasanib kod luwak. agko naantaan naterteran manayay amputin kawes kon inabangan nen inak. nababainganak balet singa sikamin amin et manakis et kaliketan.

manin-inut ya napupunas so baing ko ta dakel iray dimmagup ya pasamanuen daak tan say kuanda, masuwerte ak tan maganganaak kuno. say imis ko labat so naiyebat kod sikara tan emel ya salitan “salamat”. sikatoya la siguro so sangkaliketan kon bekta. datidati agdaak anggan imanuen balet natan agay lay parayew dad siak.mabetbet ya tepetan daak no iner so panaralan ko. say kuanko “diyad abong” say lurey da “diyad linat ka manaral”.agkon balut natatalusan balet imis-imisak labat. anonotan komay asalita na samay managsulat ya nayari ka kunon manaral ed abong basta walay ketab mon bintanam ed kakabatan atan labat mabli. amay “go girl” kuno iparungtal ton amin. andimeta ta sebel so mantakiling ed samay walad nonot yo. marutak!!! .mggk (lol)

saray arum iran kakapinsan ko so angiderew iray sobri, dakel so angiter, nibana ya wala ray akasempet ya walad biyek taew tan abalitaan day kikipasen ko kato siguron, atenyeg so pagew dan mi-ambegya. wala ni simmingger ya kapinsan kod pueg la amo ya kuanto.

“sarah mila kad siak ed manila ta panaralen takay nursing piyan walay kaiba to may anako ya unurong ed sayay untumbok ya urongan” say tawag mid sikato si walter

“katungtung yoy inak no labay ton milaak ed sikayo” inkuanko

diyad aruma imbeneg akilaak ed sikaran manbakasyon kaibak may anak dan si chelo, kaugawan ko man. diyad loob na duay simba singadaak mikaduan anak, masyadoy baing ko balet maong iran mangumpuni na ugaw ya kaparak ya mabaing.

”alagar kayon magano ta unsisingger may kaaring kon si lucing”. ay agi singa lupay kabuki so ginawarad lupa to makapal ya maong so kuliririti to, no aglabat mansalita agkon balot nabirbir. manturattit nin siyansiya. mabetbet so pauraka mi, alaram lay matak tan agko la anta no siopay kaabay kod oraka.

naimanok umbebelat lay tenger kon sasabitan day rosrosas. amay eberlasting so medyo anggatel kanyan inategey koy kuwelyok ya apuyot lay linget. akin met kasi et ibana rad tiagew so kasumpalay eskuela o singa komon diyad arum ya luyag ya wala rad loob wala ni pabetel to. diya balet idasal moy siplog na dagem, wala ni taruk ton angub na darapilan.

kamamantaan walay angiderew ed sikami na halohalo. libri kuno ed saray nansumpal. masyadoy kabaleg kanyan inyapagan kuray agagik, singa kami belek ya miilupan. akasian tokami may sakey ya bisita initdan tokami duara nin halohalo. dinungoak lalaingey pamilyak. atan nan-didilakutan mi.

agko nalilimen aralem lay labi, igapo dalay baili agi. anggapo nimet so kaparehak ta siyak so sanka balegan. inanap komay kapinsan kon anak nen nana nannette ta atagey ya mayapyapis no simplugey dagem et kibangkibang. atan labat kawigin dua so sali to, balibali balet ya unsayaw na yugyugan ta kibangkibang. makapalek no maminsan ta wala ni amoy telek to o ag mangim-imano.

“tony gala ta sikay kaparehak “ nengneng mo, tangay tangay balet untan labat tan sobra amoy silib to, arawin naynay so nonot. atan ya kapinsan ko agton balut ya pinabaingan to ak. unor-unor lam bengat. kerewan koni lapis tan papil. natan agkola nakerewan ta asumpal kami la.

balibali so sayaw mi “lady in red”, wala met lay inkulaney toyan patang aliwan singa samay “junior/ senior prom” agton balot natalusay tugtug. manpapatugay pueg mi tan nagagatinan toy salik. siopa kasi nanbangat ed sikato. sinmublay so yugyugan... ay lasi ka ta makaranting singa manpipiyano so sali to, maarti singa ‘energizer” agbalut nakesawan. manlinglinget pati seklak pati kilikilik maong lalaingen ta ginusagos koy lawer tan pinaterteran koy pabalingit. aay! sigi labat singa ag napaer so likeliket.

maong manaya so sayaw lan sayaw. anonotan ko may kaanakan nen nana auring sikato kunoy anapan tod biyek taew natan dakel so tryasikel dan ipapaupa tan akaispoting no unsempet natakiling moy el-el to tan biglan timmundiris so eleng to pati pagew to limmukso say nengneng to balet walay iya-amot ton ermen.

mabetbet dan patundaey sayaw ta tutuntunen day programa dakel so idadalatdat da. maabig engen piyan makapainawa kami tan makaalmo met iray managlako na inumen, tsiklit, sigarilyo, paypay, bibingka, turon, sirbesa, mani, halohalo, cotton candy tan antokaman ya nanonotan dan ilako. hoy! anggapaoy sirad diya walay pinapaitan, bagisen, puto, pansit, kundandit tan patopat.

kabebekta manlalbong amina sukosukong, kibatiktik iray totoo... nantatabunan irad sukong , narengel moray akis, eyag tan ugaog... singa giyera. anggapoy makaanta no iner so panlalapuay bong bong ... singa ungulis ed dalin so silew insan nalalbong . sikamin sankapamilyaan simmanib kamid akasia. si patang akalakap ed akasia aliling toy tukko. binanok pa aliwaliwan nengnengen makadiskurahi. aramay agagik ya lalaki kimmakalab irad akasia.

aselselan da manaya ramay kuitis. walay mansisigarilyo et aliway adapuay pongpong to kanyan ..bong..bong so labas to. dakel so asakitan ta ataltalapus ira. maong ta wala kamid beneg diyad silong na akasia. simmabi ray pulis, ambulansiya ... amin amon pulis na minusipio so dimmagup. akisalsalukoyak met lan akitulong ed saray agur-gurabis, apileypiley. aramay asugatan panyo o diyariyo lay panpepet mi.

aray managlako nantatabugis iray lako da. mansisingkatan iray ugugaw ya mandudukduk.agmora nabano. narasan ira siguro. wala ni akatamukal na puto ya butbutyog so eges to ed insusukibot ton kundandit. simmabi met may pulis ya walay leweton latiko, sag paminsan balet undukduk met na sigarilyo.

naimanok ya daladalaan la so kawes ko andi bali iguran koy kalamansi o kabelew no unsempetak tan italem kod klorox, umpano nataming balet anto. sayang anto no pabayaran dad siyak iyay kawes. andi bali dakela atulungan ko mikasiak la umpan nayarin milabadaak lad sikara.

...ituloy kuyay tungtung ko magano ta naksawanak ya akisalsalukoy. nalmay iray al-alwas ko. kimmekebet iray gamegamet ko tan malangsi manaya so dalay too, mapekepeket.

ALINGAY YA KARUMAN

2008-11-09T21:07:00.000-08:00

“nen agosto naitdanak na pankanawnawa
ya nanengneng so abong ya ginawa nen amak.
naimatunan ko so tanda na apalabas iran taon”
yoli

waryaak ya akatangulaw tan mareen
anonotan koy apalabas ya liga tan ermen
say datin atep ya tatambuley uran
apikpikewet lara lapud pankaindan
untan met iray dingding ya binalkesan
piyan ag-itikyab diyad bagyon kaplesan
say daana takayan magimbitan segepan
singa liman mankawey, ipawil toy nanlapuan

apasikmatan koy latian laran bisagra
ya mangegem na napupungpung lan puerta
ipapanta na ateet tan dabuk, nen lukasan kora
nanpayawar so salan binalegan
masimpit iran sinag manaktakiling
ed apisit iran kampis na bintanan natataming
parehon bintanan samben na lungon nen kuyak
ya singa labat naugip ed uga-ugaw koran matak

say datal alinggis koy gulis mansasangaan
tanday maruksan tabuney ya dimmalan
apasigamak, aliknak so ermen undedenden
lapur mantatabunan ya perdin anengneng
aliknak so talaw ya manakar-akar er sala
tano agko naasigta nakulasbongak ya bigla
singak narerengel to tagtagleey nen inak
diyad pannangis to akaugip lapud irap

saray makalangakang ya kapbang nen amak
sakbay unalis ya umbiyahin mananap bilay
amay berhin maria tan kurus ya bantay
saray bakat na dingding na duaran kuwarto
amay baul ya pinabpablin betang nen inak
radyon angibandoy panakar na unan tood bulan
saray bektan aaligen min panakar dan matantan
tangtangayen mi tawen no natakiling mirad man

samay tukador ya walay salming ton andukey
ipaparungtal toy ganan manlapud sali anggad tagey
walay palimer ya pilalek kon unganaak met kasi
ya singa sarayay mamarikit ya kapara nen atsi
abakbak lay beneg to balet nayari nin isara
anggan saray pananginay kawes anggapulara
wala ni balet iray atilak ya samyon balingit
ya naangub na eleng kon alaktipay simpit

melmelag manaya nen say walad nonot ko
ag-akatulong so ki-anggapoy kusina tan banyo
say dingding na sipin pegley na sala tan kusina
pananginay gangana, tinaloy panaoy ruksa
saray immawet ya babelgam angitir na imis
ed sayan aping ya panguyguyoray panakis
walay belat na pagew kon insaray puerta
ami-amin anggapolara, diyad nonot wadya

niluksok so kasamputan ya balitang
aliknak to liksin nan-in-inut lan abalang
anonotan ko nen ugawak ayoyang koy silong na abong
amot-amot ed drum, diman saray manok manu-ubong
natan sayan daana abong binagbag la, iliing kod dilik
ya say panaon mansasyok mapmaples nen say salik
mapalpalar kamin sigpot, walad sikamin amin
untan pa komon ta magnayon untan met sikayon amin

md,
Balbaleg so pisasalamat ko ed sayan impatalos mo ed sarili tayon dila. Ayan abong mi nen saman so ultimon pakanengnengan mi ya sana-agi na pinan-irapan nen ama min mismo ya impaalagey. Natan ya angapula yan abong, arayan bekta so unsalat ed kanonotan min sana-agi. Salamat.
Yoli

pinakalmak so pagew

2008-11-02T08:13:00.000-08:00

manonton dalan

saray intilak
mon aron akabekad pagew ko
tan saray ilail
mon manguguligol
na sayan nonot
so amamayuen toak

maruksa kan sigpot
immalis kan agka amatanir
kasumpalan mon sinalog
so ilalok ya panalagar er sika

bang mas ag malaem so oras
ya pinannengnengan ta
alay liket kon naap-aplusan
so lambot na ganam
tan aliknak lalamet
so ampetang iran sibeg
ya kinorkor toy lusuko
tan pinespes toy amina ganaganak,
kalaktip toy terter na linget tan gayaga

anggaman untana
pinisit moy ilalok
intarok moy imanok
ginetel moy samit na imis ko
wala ni unsasalumpapak ya panangaro
ed bektan nanonotan taka

Anto Ni Arum?

2008-11-02T08:09:00.000-08:00

by Kankanti

Kinmalmay liknaan kod balikas mon agamuran
Amtak anggapod vokabularyom salitan babarungan
Aralem so pakatalos mo, tanday tuan panangaro,
Anggan masabit so dalan, bataken moy peligro.

Tetepeten mo no akin et amuti so lupak,
Akanengneng ak na anyanyi; agi! atak-takotak!
Agla pankelawan mangiwgiw pati seklak
Agak makagalaw, binmegas so gana-ganak!

Tawagen taka lawari pian siak so pasantigwa
Amtak walay pakayarim ta inaponan ka manaya;
"Gala! Gala!" kuan mod ataktakot, ontonday panpetang da
Mabisay kemkem mo lalo no usaran moy lutda!

Panpirpirawatan iran kemkem, kapigan kasi nagamuran?
Maoyamon ap-aplos na larak ya impat-tang
Makaekal na taktakot tan beblay na lama-laman
Nagugo kan singa belek, labay moy untirakyang!

No sikay manambal ed siak, unabig ak ya magano
Manpat-pataw ed liket, malet so kakaugip ko;
Naakar koy lurem ya kuma-siyam, pati say kuma-samplo
Basta lanang kad diking ko, anto ni arum so anapen ko?

So This Is America … (II)

2008-11-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

Ricky

Welcome to Santa Maria, California, our new home.

The long drive from LAX did not dampen our anticipation and excitement. We arrived at this subdivision with bungalows that looked the same, except for the paint colors and the cars parked in the driveways. Even the plants and the trees almost looked the same.

The house had four bedrooms, two baths, eat-in kitchen, and a living room. It was huge, considering the size of the house we just left behind in the Philippines. There were fruit trees in the backyard and my oh my, I climbed, I “kalawit” what I couldn’t reach, and I shook the limbs out of frustration to get to plums, apples, oranges, and peaches. Dad had been busy in the yard.

Within the next few days, we did what other “bagong-salta” did: learned how to work the appliances, watched TV, slept, and ate. When Dad got home from work, he would take us to Thrifty and buy ice cream, thirty-five cents for a single or fifty-cents for a double. It was either Vanilla or Chocolate. I was actually limited to what I could pronounce more than anything. Dad gave us change and watched us go in by ourselves. Sylvia, one of my sisters, and I would run around the store first and see all the wonderful array of toys, clothes, and shoes in the aisles before going for the ice cream. When we got to the counter, we’d order chocolate or vanilla and empty our pockets on the counter. The cashier would take what we owed him and gave the rest back. It took us a while to learn the monetary value.

We were very curious and very observant with anything and everything around us. One of my sisters observed how Americans must really love pigeons because of the row of “bahay ng kalapati” in front of each house in every street with even their names and addresses on them! Sylvia also wondered why we always seemed to go when the stoplights were green. And of course, not to be outdone, I stated how amazing it was that those “light bulbs” on the roads do not break even when people drove over them!

Another store Dad took us to was K-Mart, and we thought we died and went to heaven! This store was nothing like we’ve ever seen before. It was huge and full of stuff, all kinds of stuff! I remember buying a pair of yellow bell-bottoms and this red shiny vinyl wallet on our very first trip. And yes, the wallet was a Blue Light Sale item! We also bought rubber work boots and jackets to keep us warm in the middle of summer. I specifically chose a royal blue fuzzy polyester jacket with white trim around the cuffs and around the hood. The louder – the better, back then no one got shot for bad taste.

Dad finally brought us to where he worked. At the sight of strawberries the size of golf balls, we scrambled out of the car and raced to where these berries were dripping to the ground! We ate and picked and ate some more. There were children younger than us picking these berries. Mom was broken in first, then the three kids followed. Sylvia was the skinniest and Dad was convinced the wind would blow her away if she went out to the field, so she stayed home that summer and learned how to make anything-strawberry.

Picking strawberries did not seem like a job. It was actually a lot of fun. I had a little cart and a carton with those flimsy green baskets inside. I would push it ahead of me between rows of strawberries. The red, shiny fruits hung on short vines hugging the ground. I was closer to the ground and didn’t mind crouching most of the time. If I got tired, I’d kneel. I got paid two dollars per box, and in a day, I could fill up at least a dozen boxes. That’s a lot of dollars going in my red, vinyl wallet even after a treat of chocolate or vanilla ice cream, at least, until I discovered burrito. It was actually a family of migrant Mexican workers who introduced this food to me. What got lost in translation was what happened when you ate too much of these. It was catered right out of a mobile kitchen that came twice a day and was inviting enough to stop all activities at hand. Pickers straightened out their backs and would quickly tear gloves, bandannas, and hats, just to dash where this cantina was parked in fear of running out of ... burrito?

But Mom was frugal and she packed recycled margarine tubs with rice and adobo, or rice and pindang, or rice and fried eggs and spam. We were also introduced to Kool-Aid and Jolly Ranchers. Yes, it is possible to outperform the Energizer bunny given this combination.

And then there was Jackie. This Caucasian lady who owned the land and also brought her young kids out in the farm. I was probably the eldest of all the children in that field and all of us spoke our respective languages fluently: English, Spanish, Pangasinan. Half the time we digressed to hand signals, and the other half we drew in the dirt things like beak, mustache, or shovel. And when all else fails, I would repeat or say things slower, sounding out the short vowels in slow motion thinking it might sound like long vowels somehow. The ph, th, and wh sound came and went depending on excitement or anxiety level.

Our conversations were never complicated, never challenging, and certainly never misunderstood. We laughed a lot and nodded in agreement often. We shook our heads vigorously for emergency purposes only. We ran around re-inventing games. We found what games cut through any cultural barriers like kit-kit, sungka, and jak-en-poy and games better left in the memories like shatong, jolenz, and pitik-bulag. Rules were never explained. We shrugged off our disadvantages to no one's advantage. We just played the games, blindly, obligingly, and happily.

We held races on who could fill up the most boxes, or who could outrun the rest when fetching boxes from The Barn. We terrorized each other when it came to entering The Barn, but we also made a pack that no one should enter The Barn alone. We all found out that scary stories and scary sounds transcend to all ages and certainly all cultures. We made up contests, games, and made up words. We made up new and old make-beliefs, but most importantly, we made friends.

Sandy, Linda, Rae Ann, Bong, and I were playmates and coworkers, students and teachers, but most of all ambassadors from our respective countries. And on Fridays, we counted our money and dreamed of our next trip to Thrifty or K-Mart … for that Blue Light Sale.

To be continued … high school in America!

Post Script
Santa Maria, is about two and a half hours away from LA and about three and half hours away from San Francisco. It is about twenty minutes south of Pismo Beach and about half an hour north of Solvang. In the seventies, its population was under twenty thousand and was mostly a mix of Caucasians and Hispanics. A surge of Filipino immigrants started to stake their homestead in the early eighties. But when we first arrived, there was just a handful of Filipinos, mostly from the Ilocos Region: there were the Laras, Sagisis, Ungos, Anchetas, Ramelbs, Veas, Castillos. But for some unknown reason, there were a slew of Manaoag folks who immigrated and congregated to this little valley in Santa Barbara county, namely the Salinas, Remillio, Igros, Pedroche, Quiros, Delin, Soriano, Tucay to name a few.

Employment was limited to farming for the male immigrants and packing shed workers for the females. Lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, artichoke, peas, and strawberries were the main produce. Japanese and Caucasians mostly owned the lands and Mexican migrant workers came and went with the seasons.

Today, Santa Maria, home of Abel Maldonado, has grown to over 90,000 in population. In 1998 it won the prestigious “All America City” award, but its claim to fame, other than the place where Michael Jackson danced on top of a car after being found not guilty of child molestation, has to be the infamous tri-tip barbeque, Santa Maria style!

So, This Is America ...

2008-11-01T01:33:00.000-07:00

(Revisited, originally posted on 04/28/08)
Ricky

My earliest recollection on the realization that I was going places was when Mom herded all four younger kids to get on a bus to Manila for our “physical”. I was twelve and didn’t really have a clue as far as what this meant.

We travelled with my sister-in-law who knew her way around Manila. I could count with one hand the number of times I’ve been to Manila before this trip, four times to be exact and only around MIA. We made it to where we were supposed to have this “physical” and because of my age, I guess I was exempted, but I do remember having my chest x-rayed.

Unfortunately for Mom, two sisters, and a brother, they all had to be seen by a doctor who performed whatever was needed to complete this “physical”. I was told later that it was not a pleasant experience for any of them. After the “physical”, there was also the “interview” process we had to go through, and again I was exempted because of my age. We went home that same day, and all I got out of the whole trip was my first hamburger bought in front of that building we went to.

Within weeks, Mom received a telegram from her lawyer friend informing us that the only thing needed was money for our plane tickets to America. This was May of ’77 in the middle of summer vacation. We wanted to at least say goodbye to our school friends, but there was no time. Everything went a little too fast and part of me wanted to stay and be left behind. Could an aunt just take care of me instead?

I didn’t dare ask Mom though; after all I was also excited to ride in an airplane more so than anything else. Within days we were again on our way to Manila but this time Mom rented a “Sarao” to haul everyone including any relatives who wanted to go along for the ride. We first went to Nayong Filipino for a picnic in the parking lot. Mom went all out and had these same relatives cook all kinds of food. Then we went to check out the little villages spread out in this park like setting emulating what was "Filipino". How ironic it was to be learning about our country and the culture we barely knew when in a few hours, we, ourselves, would be turning our backs to most of the things that defined who we were.

MIA was a blurred vision because of ignorance and innocence within all of us including Mom. It seemed like we were in lines after lines forever. After checking -in, we finally made it on yet another bus! I was beginning to think that this plane ride was not going to happen. But alas, we were dropped-off some distance away from this gigantic plane, a Northwest 747.

Being extra careful with our x-ray plastic bag in one hand, we turned around and blindly waved at the crowd pressed against a stretch of glass windows all along the main building of what was then known as Manila International Airport. As we walked to get to the stairs leading up to the plane, my family must have been a real sight to anyone at the airport that day. Mom was in her long custom made “patadyong” dress, my brother in his beige two-piece suit, and my sisters and I wore the same pantsuits a la Elvis style only in animal print! We could have passed for the younger Aldequer Dancers.

When we got inside the plane, the stewardess was at a loss after noticing that our tickets were labeled “lounge” instead of seat numbers. She led us to the front of the plane, passed first class, and led us up the stairs to the second deck of this 747 right behind the pilots. Certainly not where we expected to be seated and could not be possible for barrio folks like us, but there we were. To this day, we still cannot fathom the turn of events how and why we ended up there only curtains away from the pilots. Dad insisted he paid for regular air fare, after all, he was a mere strawberry farmer in this enchanted land called America.

There were swivel seats and a long sofa, all too luxurious for our taste. Somewhere over the Pacific, after Mom went through her litany of prayers and rosaries, the kids in us got bored and wanted to see the other passengers, so with our broken English we asked to be moved downstairs. The stewardess found available seats for us in the first class cabin where the passengers in this side of the plane wore their Sunday best as well. We felt right at home with our garb.

We were also told that food was free, so each time the stewardess came around with her cart we unanimously said “yes” to any of her question albeit half of what she said, we did not fully comprehend. Mom and my brother had their first taste of champagne, and I feasted on candies and peanuts, while one of my sisters complained why the vegetables used in her salad was not cooked. The following morning the stewardess again came around with what looked like a steaming lumpia, but our hopes for a Pilipino meal was soon dashed as quickly as we realized that it was just a warm face towel to freshen up with and to get rid of any evidence of mukat, laway, and kulangot. We were also given our very own toothbrush and a small tube of toothpaste to momog away our morning breath!

Our port of entry was Honolulu, Hawaii. Maneuvering around that airport with four kids in tow and broken English, Mom must have been crazed, but somehow she managed to claim our entire luggage and herded us through endless lines again. The custom officer asked Mom what this white circular, powdery thing was he found in one of our luggage and without even a hint of hesitation, Mom respectfully answered “Bubud sir” in a matter of fact, sure of herself Pangasinense that she is. The man just looked at us, shrugged his shoulders and stuffed it right back.

He took his time scanning and comparing our photos from our Philippine passport to our dazed faces which caused us to almost miss our connecting flight. Again, being very careful not to fold or damage our x-ray plastic bags in one hand, we literally had to run to get to our next gate. How Mom managed to get us out of there without losing a child was amazing!

Our second plane ride turned out uneventful until we arrived at LAX. It had been four years since we last saw Dad. Would he recognize us? I think now that it must have been our outfits that gave us away. After hugs, kisses, and tears, all six of us climbed into a two-door green Cougar with leather upholstery and were quite impressed that Dad actually drove this car. We have seen this car in pictures with my older brother in the USN posing smugly in front. Wow, could I end up driving this car someday, I mused.

Somehow, we managed to stay awake for the next three hours it took to get us to our new home. Us four kids squished in the back seat with our necks strained to catch all the sights we passed by, which turned out to be utterly nothing but miles and miles of empty space. Where are all the tall buildings and those postcard perfect sceneries, we wondered out loud. Each of us, I’m sure, was thinking the same… “so, this is America”.

(to be continued...)

mapalpalnan agos ed kabuasan

2008-10-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

agni apasyar na pusok so luyag na barongan
tan say maaron bibil ko agton balot anguban
natalusan koray naidalatdalat iran sengegan
manisiyaak nepeg pantatalusan so gamuran
say sekder na manandun, masamit ya araun
tan katekep toray karinyun agnaipakabuasan

antoy gawaen mo no nalinggis koray matam
nabasam kasi ray liknaan ya gegemgeman
ikuyep mo kasin iyawat so maamon limam
ideen mo kasin singa belek no naap-aplusan
no guguen mo manungik labaytoy untirakyang
no agto nagustuan manketket mankarangkang

akinet singa nalmay so abalam, amuti lupam
singa naigur amoy batod anglakan so liknam
galad diya ta tambalen tay puyok ya maabig
amay say petang to et singa sinag ed bukig
ya amamayuey larak na unan bungay niyog
masimsimpit iran mesmes singa mansusukog

no nagustaun mo ikirem moy duaran matam
eyasaes moray iya-amot mo ran ula-ulam
ta siguraduen kon diyad bekta sikay ebatan
na manluluppias na panangaron abangunan
kanyan ilukas moy mareen mon kanonotan
aliling toy mapalpalnan agos ed kabuasan

Tonda La 'tay Barong

2008-10-19T11:21:00.001-07:00

by Kankanti

Baleg ya tepel ta agak akasabi
Walay akasengeg, agka ombabarong kari
Excited ak amo nen tinmawag kad siak
Nen tepeten koy direction, agko la nangel so ebat.

Dakel ya lugar so aliber-liber ko
Amay GPS anggapoy kuwenta to
Anonotan ko imay datin ayuyang ta
Balet panon to ta alupak la may mangga.

Agmo iisipen ya inindian taka
Ta amtay Dios tan ya agko getma
I'll make it up to you, atan so promisa
Pian agka onkaro; makabawi kan siansia.

Bisitan anengneng mo ya aka-spoting
Agka mapaga ta agni akakiking
Ag taka isalat, mas guwapo kan arawi
Mas maaro ka lawas, talindeg mas mataraki!

Susto la tay sibek, tonda la tay barong
Agka la onlelespak ditan ed sukong,
Punasan mo la tay luwam, imis kay daiset
Pian say lupam onliwawa, ag asilot so kirep!

The House

2008-10-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

Ricky

Last August I had the opportunity to visit the house that my father built … for the last time. As I stood there in awe of its disrepair, its insignificance to decades of emptiness and neglect hit home. The corrugated bent tin roof and boarded up windows were haphazardly nailed into place with hopes of keeping them from being strewn away by the next typhoon. And the makeshift ladder leading up to the house was very … inviting.

Hinges with layers of rust resist as I trespass to the memories still stored in every crevices of this house I used to call home. But old age is no match for homesickness. The door opens heavily giving me enough light to gingerly walk in the middle of what we used to call sala. An onslaught of people, time, remembrances, and occurrences flood my awareness, and as family memories often do, they grow more melancholy as the losses begin to pile up.

Streaks of light peek through openings from broken capiz windows illuminating the hardwood floor tirelessly polished with bunot and red floor wax now decorated with crisscrossed termite tunnels. The same windows that also served as backdrop to my brother’s coffin as he lay there “sleeping” in my confused six-year old mind. And Mom crying herself to sleep is heard from the distance.

One corner, where traces of an altar once stood guarding the family, catches my attention. Mother Mary and the Crucifix are long gone but their prominence still stands. As the sounds of Mom’s evening prayers echo in the hallowed room, so too are Dad’s footsteps as he paces the room each time his search for our livelihood took him to provinces and lands afar. Even the radio housed in another corner gurgles its reminiscent sound, and oh what possibilities, as we listen to the amplified sound of an American President telling the world that the Americans landed on the moon. Together with our parents, we clamor outside and pretend to see the men walking on the moon!

To the right of the sala are footprints of where walls used to be separating two bedrooms. Musty draft mixed with the smell of mothballs waft through the air. The only furniture still left in the house is my sister’s escaparate. The long mirror is marred from the inside, its shelves are missing, but the door still latches. Missing are Mom’s baul which I dearly wanted to bring back and my sister’s vanity where she made herself up as I sat on the floor wondering if I’d ever be as pretty.

The house is much smaller than I remember. The missing kitchen and bathroom didn’t help much either. A wall of shelves separating the sala from the kitchen also did not stand the test of time but glimpses of hardened sticks of juicy fruits hidden and forgotten on those shelves bring smile to my face.

I closed the door on my way out and jumped the last wrung of the ladder. I looked back and saw the six-year old in me for the last time hiding under the house, inside a drum that housed the chickens, at peace.

As the old house is taken down, I had to remind myself how fleeting times of grace are, that is if we’re lucky enough to have them at all.

managos so luwak

2008-10-15T19:29:00.001-07:00

manonton dalan

say palnay dagem makatelek
ed panalagar kod sika inaro
manteltelek lay kanonotan
anto kasi akasebel na isabi yo
inyaplos koy nengneng kod bukig
maliwliwawa anggad mad tambib
saray piyaes maniweng iran sanlabi
singa walay labay dan ipasabi
balet pankatalos koy agaylay arawi
sinekderan moak agmo inpasantabi

ambelat so salik ya pasempet
diyad pagew koy napnoy sibek
amungsilak na sangan melanting
inwawasiwas ko mansangiyising
kibatiktik iray ayep ed labi
singa say liknak agnabier agi
nilak so abong yo, timmakiling
wala manayay bisitam ya aka-ispoting
managos so luwak, inluspak kod pireg
aliknak, mas dimmenden so pansibeg

Manaoag Town Fiesta 2008

2008-10-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

Click on the magazine for larger image and zoom in on the pictures or text.

parad sika selya

2008-10-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

no basaen koy nonot ed terter na oran
ed saray apalabas iran malugon aruan
wala ni kasi nagametan kon abitbitla
andi balid selyan diyad pagew bimmaleyla

selyan naynay kon inyan ed peligro
umpano makalingwan ka ed panangaro
sengeg na inakalener toyan kapalaran
ed agaylan alabas ya kairapan

nalingwanan ko kasin agbasaen
irayan apalabas iran aruan
saray malugon bektan inter tod siak
ya pinanmunatan koy kesaw tan irap

dimmalan iray agew iran alay samit
tan anggapoy atilak balet pansibeg
matuwan panangaro ayuyang toy pagew
anggad ponpon bangkay koy aripen

natan manermenak ed panil-iliw ko ed sika
say gagawen kon panligliwa ed sayan dusa
ed saray apalabas ya panaon ya nanononotan
say orakam salming na inawan agamuran

say orakam ya gulis na pinablin lapis
inaron inkurit ed puso tan pannangis
saksakey ya pablin pakanonnonotan kod sika
ya agnatakew anggad kauyos na bilay

say kamarerwak so maaron undadayo
dimad luyag tan dalan ya nagagatinan mo
dimad angalakan na beata tan hilom ya atapew
sayan pusok manaynay ya sikay ikekerew

amin kapigaak lan napnapnoy paney-ey
dimad silong na alabasan tan manggan atagey
amay akabitin ya bungan labay mon burburen
binurbur ko parad sika inararon lamlamyungen

say amina ganaganak laman koy mitutulinan
ed agaylan paga nen sikay walay liliknaen
say pagak nen saman betang toy atageya tawen
say paraiso met balet so walay sipi ton tulongan

kakarawen koy malenleneg mon orakam
diyad ekat ya angalakan mananayam
babasbasen koy maligan sabangan
tan bakabakat na salim ed baton tuntunan

umpapawil iran singa anap-anapen ko
aramay panaon ya maligan naanggapo
no amay manames kad playa masaksakbay
ta agmo labaya nasabi kay etab ed baybay

singa narerengel koy naynay mon bitla
“taluran agew ya agta nanperrengan ”
say ebat ko balet ya walay salitan liga
“say sakeya too dakel larayan taryaan”

akin kasit anggapoy atilak ya agni asukayan
ed nonot na saray maligan limmulubay
diyad kamumutektek ko say luwak mansaysay
tarok toy tagoong kon”ay! anggapoy kapalaran”

iner kasi silyan ligliway pagew
akinet say aruan mi aglimmawig
kapigan so tiempon saray linggis to
et aliwan kamarerwak, tawen tan bilay ko

akin kasi nen sikami lay mansiyan
nauyos la komon so bilay toyan pakaskasin laman
ta no iyurakak no panonak ya umpatey
selya, diyad pusok sikay manandun itagtagleey

arayan agnatepelan iran kaermenan
o! ligan akaarawi, ta sikay sengegan
sikatoy angiguyor ed siak ya mananlong
bilay na pakaskasi isulat kon kansiyon

selya saray tungtung ko nayarin naemel
maermen ya bitla lapur say diyosak ngelengel
ya anggan kapirit agko labay so namelmelag
napalaranak komon ya narengel na nonot mo tan layag

sikatoyay manunan ugta na walnak ya kulyapis
ya diyad pinabpablin bakat mo et imantilis
aksubien mo komon anggan anggapoy kilas
nanlapud pusok ya say sibeg to et singa perlas

no say kasagmakan ko et kababaingan
say tubok so nadayew ya kesawa pounan
no babasaen mo rayan tagtagleey
nonot moak komon ya manpaparayew

malikeliket iran nimpa na lawa na bai
sirenas say kansiyon day makakiki
sikayo natay pinabpabli
na agaylay irap na diyosak ya pakaskasi

takdang kad akapaliber ya tambak inaro
pakaskasin kansiyon diyad lira itono
no sayan mansasalitan bilay et naanggapo
matuwan panangaro pilalek ton manandu

sikay rosas toyan tagtagleey, selya
itatanduro na M. A. R masasanting iran letra
birhin ya ina tan anak siak so mansamba
F. B. say matuwan manangarod sika

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

pasensya kilan pinabpabli tan inararok ya kabaleyan
ta binurak may immuna ya patalos toyan anlong nen
masiken ikong ta medyo kulang na sabaw. natan
nayari yulan ilupen wala ni sili tan laman to. md

anggan kapigan

2008-10-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

alay likeliket kon akabatan
ta naaplos na liga so liknam
manalwar ka balet ed panangan
wala ray untitibukel er satan

no untangay kad tawen puntam so bitewen er baybay
ta diman kon idadalem iray ula-ulak ya naynay
no malurem anap mo may aninon manimis
piyan napunas ed aping moy pannangis

panon kan natundas na lingngis ko agi
no wartan kan manuli-uli er arawrawi
nayari met siguro no say bulan et salming
ya say kindat koy nayarin natakiling

matuwa may kuwan mon diya lad ketab
saray kabaleyan ta nayari niran mipalpag
untan pa komon ta naaplos iray samit na imis
tan isukibsukib dalad kanonotan day tsismis

saray gunigon abayag kulan inkaindan
ta inatrok moy liwawad sayan paknaan
ya anggan kapigan sikay silew na dukulan
manasigta ka agi ta dakelaray makakainam

Wadia ak, Wadtan ka

2008-10-09T06:14:00.000-07:00

by Kankanti

Apaer so iliw tan ermen ko natan
Ed inpakabasak na insulat mon liknaan
Pati naliliknak ya beblay ed laman
Sikatoy atambal, sinmamit so panangan.

Say kuan mo wala niray pilalek mon nagamuran,
Ta anggano siak met, ontan so gegemtan
Wala niray labin itangay ko lad tawen
Amtak say mata tandua walad saksakey ya bitewen.

Anggapo lay dua-rua ya naliliknak natan
Ta akom ed siak ya wadtan kan lanang,
Kindat tan pansalita agla kaukulan
Linggis mo labat ed siak, tampol kon natalusan.

Anggan say nanbeetan ta libo-libo'n milya
Wadia ak, wadtan ka, maniba tan siansia
Masarag ni 'yay ketab ambegyan walad arawi ka
Asingsingger ka lanlamang, sangkagawat taka.

Agka la mapaga, mareen lay nonot ko
Anggapo lay gunigon ya kera'd sayan puso,
Segi sirin inaro ta ilirep kon magano
Pian agak mantemeg naani ed trabaho!

ipadakulap ko

2008-10-04T20:29:00.000-07:00

manonton dalan

samit na imis koy punasen toray ermen
untan met ed kanonotan mon agmakareen
liknam irayay ampetapetang koran aplos
aksubien turay sakit na laman mon mabulbulos

wala niray pilpilalek koran nagamuran
anggan saray maaron puso ta et nanpaknaan
singa saray malinak ya labin tulintulinen ko
panuen moy liga tan malugolugon panangaro

kanyan ipulisay mula ratay kukugkugipen
ta piyan saratana iliw mo et ag-undenden
alagar moy bilunget ya miguguyurad liwawa
atan dugaruga asumpalak met lan akapainawa

tan diyad antokaman ya bekta na sayan bilay
wadtanak ya sipaparaan ed diking mon naynay
ikindat mo labat ipadakulap kod sikay labay mo
anggan sikatoy sengeg na kauyos na bilay ko

ALENLENEG

2008-09-30T23:26:00.000-07:00

by Kankanti

Ombebetel lay siplog na dagem
Say agew ko mabetbet ya mayemyem,
Anap-anapen taka lalo la no ngarem
Mailiwak ya naynay, say nonot ag makareen.

Akin et wala ni tagleey na puso
Anta apaneknekan mo lan matua'y panangaro?
Amin ya duaruwam komon lingwanan mo
Ta sikan-sika labat so inyutel kod puso.

Agay lay swertek ta akabiang kad bilay ko
Makatalos, maaro, tan mamon ya impanpuso
Amtak ya mainaway bilay ya arapen ko
Ta wadtan kan suporta ya lanang ed diking ko.

Samit na esaes tan puyok ya makagigi
Kugkugipen kon nanay no onsabi lay labi
Alenleneg kad bilay ko, say Dios so tasi
Magnayon kan aroen ko anggad bilay naandi.